My Diva Dearest,
As I drive home, my mind is constantly
hoping you are asleep. I cannot withstand another moonlight argument. I
would rather not quicken my heart tonight; I just want to go to sleep
and wake up for work in the morning unnoticed – if possible.
Don’t bother about dinner; I already bought
myself some food. How can I forget to? I’ve been doing it for months
now. I remember the night you told me to get my own dinner. “I already
did my nails. How do you expect me to hold a knife?” you said. I really
didn’t care that you weren’t an excellent cook; it’s that you didn’t
even want to try. That is what bothered me. You sent the cook away, and
you still haven’t found the time to employ a new one. Contrary to what
you think, not everyone can survive on lime and water as you do. A
filling meal every now and then, whether you cooked or ordered it,
would be nice. But not to worry – tonight, I bought myself some food
like you said.
I hope you remembered to feed our son, that
poor boy. Last week, the nanny didn’t arrive on time. You said you
couldn’t wash his bum. “I can’t touch shit. It’s baby wipes or
nothing.” Those were your exact words. How long did it take to find the
wipes? Oh yeah! 30 minutes. After all, that’s not so long, is it? I
wonder what would have happened if there were no more wipes.
I better not forget my allergy medication
tonight. I cannot afford another congested chest. I will put it on my
to-do list: buy a new vacuum cleaner. That is the only way you know how
to clean, right? “Be grateful,” you say. At least you sweep. What are
machines for, anyway? But since the vacuum cleaner broke last week, you
haven’t swept. The dust is driving me crazy, and you know I’m allergic.
I have given you money to replace it but you still haven’t found the
time between gossiping and drinking. I will be in serious trouble if i
don’t find my pills, because I know you cannot walk to the drug store.
“My shoes aren’t made for walking” you
said. Those same shoes you broke my bank account to buy. You were ready
to let hell loose that day if I didn’t allow you get the shoes. “All
the divas have at least one pair of these red-soled heels,” you said.
You know I could never say no to you, though you conveniently didn’t
tell me then that the shoes weren’t made for walking. Of what use is a
pair of shoes you cannot walk in?
Never mind, I can have the steward get the
drugs on his way over tomorrow. That reminds me, I have decided that
this is the last time I will address this issue. When my friends come
over, the way you act has to change. I appreciate that you can be one
of the boys and hold your own with tequila shots but I disapprove of
the way you flirt with them. It embarrasses me. Honey, in case you
don’t know, they talk about it all the time, and they aren’t enticed,
they are appalled and the same goes for me.
My darling diva, your drinking ability is
no longer interesting; it has become old. Now all you do is drink and
pretend to be cleaning. Don’t worry about the chores. What do we have a
help for? I would prefer you got a job instead. I really am getting
tired of spending on those fancy jewels. You say you are into fashion –
is there no job opening for you somewhere fashionable? Or when you say
you’re into fashion, you mean all you do is buy fashion items. I enjoy
sharing my resources with you, but you never attempt to contribute. All
you do is acquire and amass. And with my hard-earned money.
It makes perfect sense now. When I married
you, I was attracted to your taste in fashion. Your poise was like no
one’s I had ever come across. You could do no wrong in my eyes. I
especially loved that you had eyes for the better things in life. What
I did not know was that you had no aspirations. All you wanted to do
was stay home and drink. You blame our son for your drinking. “He
ruined my body,” you say. “Alcohol is the only way I can fight the
depression.” At this rate, I’m sure we won’t have any other kids. Our
boy is a blessing and if you could just stop resenting him, maybe you
would see it too. That there are more important things in life than
your red-soled shoes and your diamond rings. There is love and if you
don’t have that, then you have nothing.
When you come home one day and see your
belongings neatly packed on the front porch and discover that your keys
can no longer open the locks, know that this means it is no longer all