Nigeria Content Online

Americans talk about everything at every opportunity. They talk during meals and sex. I once had an apartment below a young American couple who liked to make love and talk at the same time. Loudly. I was miserable whenever I had to leave the apartment to go to work, so entertaining.

Nigerians are simple people; the British taught us to keep mum during sex. That is what the missionary position is for. I don’t know why the British call it the missionary position; they should simply call it the (only) position since it is the (only) position they know about. Maybe the Americans invented the missionary position. They have names for everything because they talk a lot. The British are famously tight-lipped about everything. The story is told about the British couple enjoying their annual one round of sex in the missionary position when the woman began to squirm with enjoyment. The man is said to have stopped work and curtly declared: “Dear, you should not enjoy this!”

I love watching American TV food channels. They talk to food as if they are making love to it. They close their eyes as the food meets their palate and they make sensual noises as if they are climaxing and then the storytelling begins. By the time they are finished talking, the food is cold. Americans love to talk about their houses. If they like your house, they will talk about it all day.

If a Nigerian likes your house, you will not hear about if from the green-eyed monster. Bad belle jealousy will not let her say anything nice about your house. She will keep quiet, even if it kills her. Meanwhile, she will start memorising everything she likes in your house. The next time you visit her house, you will think you accidentally stepped into your own house. She would have faithfully reproduced everything in your house down to the bathroom towels. You will of course not say a word, even though you are dying to tell her how much you appreciate her perfidy. You are a Nigerian.

I have been loitering around Americans for many decades and I have mastered everything about them, down to their accent. So, let me offer a few tips for acculturating in Babylon.

Say you have a dinner date with an American lady at her house. This is an opportunity to show that you are not an ajepako half-human; you know – those pretend-people who brush their teeth with twigs and hold cutlery like mass murderers. Before you leave your house, brush your teeth vigorously with toothpaste, and buy breath mints because you are going to be talking. If she offers you breath mints, my brother please take it.

She will offer you wine. This is not palmwine. You can tell that it is not because unlike great palmwine, it tastes like pond water. She will offer you the wine and watch you intently like a white anthropologist watching a mountain gorilla. Do not simply swallow, make a face, and keep quiet. Worse, do not sip a large quantity and spit on her white carpet in honour of your wretched ancestors. Sip a little, close your eyes as if you are suffering from great sex, and then say something absolutely inane like: “This is a great well aged red. Fruity, bold, with a hint of nuttiness. Sensual, like you. You have great taste in wine!” Man, she will like that, an African who knows wine; you are getting some (sex!) tonight!

You are getting close to the bedroom for the ultimate test. But first, the food is coming. If the lady has cooked a meal for you, this is a good sign. She must really like you. Please do not wolf the food down like a ravenous subsistence farmer eager to go back to his yam tendrils. Be inquisitive. Ask questions.

Sometimes, the American, eager to impress you, will do some research about Nigerian food and cook you egusi. You are going to be miserable all night, but this is nice of her. Ask questions that show you really care: “Wow! This is sooo nice! Was it your idea to put chunks of carrots in the egusi sauce?” Please do not call it “soup”, bush man! If the rice is half-cooked, compliment her on her creativity. “I like the texture of the rice. The almonds and the peanuts give the rice a robust nutty feel.” Abeg do not say groundnuts! Drink some more red wine. You will need it.

If she offers you sex, whatever you do, don’t duplicate the only one sex scene in Chinua Achebe’s ‘Things Fall Apart’. It lasted one minute and ended with the memorable line: “Even in those days, Okonkwo was a man of few words.” If you behave like Okonkwo, you are not coming back to her bedroom, unless to clean it. Make love for at least two minutes. And talk a lot of nonsense. Please. Oya go for it, tiger.

Art lecturer and critic, Kunle Filani, admits to being “struck” by the closeness of Mavua Lessor’s works to those of renowned Ghanaian painter, Ablade Glover. Despite this, the lecturer agrees that Lessor has grown into his own on his journey of self-assertion, as evident in his latest exhibition, ‘Bond Across’.

The sixth solo by the artist renowned for his use of impasto, a technique that gives paintings a thick, almost three dimensional texture, ‘Bonds Across’ opened at Terra Kulture, Tiamiyu Savage, Victoria Island, Lagos, on October 9. It featured 63 works from the Auchi Polytechnic alumnus.

The body of works, according to Lessor, ponders on art as a connector of humanity.

“I spread [them] out and tried to find a connection between the works and how they relate to life. I saw this universal appeal that goes across all human occupation. It doesn’t matter what vocation you have; we all go through the same experiences, so that inspired the title.

“Part of the success of art is about experimenting. When you use a particular medium for a long time, boredom sets in, so you begin to look for new media to use. It’s not about the audience now, it’s about self-satisfaction. That is why it is important to start looking for new medium to work with,” Lessor says.

The painter, who also believes that using a new medium does not change one’s style, sheds more light on his experimentations.

“I tried materials like enamel, which artists don’t normally use, which is something interesting in my works. There is also a new technique I apply in some of my works called drip crease, where I allow the colours to drip down the canvas. As time goes on, I hope to perfect this new style.”

Lessor uses his paint brush to discuss the challenges of living in a city like Lagos, in works like ‘25 Litres’, which depicts the long queues seen at filling stations during fuel scarcity. He also addresses the lack of water in some parts of the city, with ‘Water Vendor’; and the daily struggle for survival (‘Scavengers’ and ‘Battling Poverty’).

The renewal projects being undertaken by the Lagos State government are not left out in his painterly exercise, as seen in works like ‘Before Fashola’, where he gives the viewer the old Oshodi. The Fashola administration’s drive to further develop the city is depicted in ‘Mega City’.

Lessor documents the everyday life of Lagosians and peculiarities of the city with pieces like the ‘Everyday’ series, ‘Highest Bidder’, and ‘Human Habitat’. ‘The Sun Waters and the Settlers’ that depicts the high population through scenic views of the city’s skylines and rooftops, is also included.

The artist becomes a social advocate in ‘Abusing the Girl Child’, ‘Educating the Girl Child’, and ‘Abuse of Innocence’.

Images from his memory of places visited or desires to visit, come to play in oil paintings, namely ‘Yellow Stone’ and ‘Memories of Arizona’. Some other works have themes that centre on motherhood, leadership, and beauty.

Born in Warri, Delta State, in 1960, Lessor obtained a Higher National Diploma in Painting from Auchi Polytechnic in 1986. He had his first solo exhibition in 1998 and has been having exhibitions biannually since.

The 2009 movie, ‘The Reader’ never aired on cinema screens in Nigeria. ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ was initially not aired, but soon made it to Nigerian screens when it became too difficult to ignore as a worldwide hit. About the same time, I was watching those movies at Odeon Cinemas, outside the country. I can guarantee that Nigerians would have missed an excellent film had ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ passed us by. I’m sure that ‘The Reader’ was even better than Slumdog, but it was ‘Slumdog’ that won more awards. What I can guarantee though is that Nigerians missed out on an excellent movie in ‘The Reader’. It was that good!

Fast forward to summer 2010, and as a film lover, I had gone to the Lagos cinemas, Genesis and Silverbird, to entertain myself. The most prominent movies I have been served with in the last few months are ‘The A-Team’, ‘Grown Ups’, ‘The Karate Kid’, ‘The Last Airbender’, ‘Ije’ and ‘Salt’. There are some others that I refused to watch such as ‘Toy Story 3′. Taking a look at Odeon’s website, there is a lot more choice. Which leads me to wonder what the problem is. Could it be that our cinema operators don’t get to pay for the rights to show these movies?

Small range

If that is the case, then I really don’t have a problem with them showing us a smaller selection of movies than what audiences in the UK enjoy. Two reasons; first, we do not have a serious movie going culture here yet, regardless of what people may say.

The truth is that most people in this country still see cinema-going as a big Sunday event, and prefer to buy their movies from the Alaba Brothers at the road sides. Going to the movies is still largely seen as something for young people, and anyone of my father or my uncles would more than likely balk at the thought of going to the movies. Again, movies are a good avenue for people to mix, but in a highly stratified society like ours…

The second reason why I don’t mind the smaller selection of movies is that I know for a fact that Odeon, again as an example, is a huge chain with millions of pounds behind them. They can afford to take the potential losses that would occur if they invest in showing a movie that tanks at the Box Office. I can only imagine how much was lost by such chains when they showed the Bennifa movie, ‘Gigli’. It is understandable to some extent that the Silverbird Group as an example would not have the kind of disposable cash that they must have lost on ‘Kajola’, for example.

However, given these constraints, especially that of cost, it behoves the movie selectors to make the best possible choice of movies. For instance, I think that Salt was a bad movie. But the sheer expectation that greeted its release means that it could not be ignored as a movie, and had to be shown. Then again, a lot of people who watched it in the cinema thought that it was a fine film. So, that difference of opinion is more than enough to justify its selection. However, one movie that annoyed just about everyone that saw it, was ‘The A-Team.’ Sitting in the theatre watching it, I actually noticed my IQ drop a few percentage points. That movie was DAFT!

Stereotypes

A few years ago, a Caucasian friend of mine, on listening to my taste in music, asked how I felt when people automatically assumed that I loved rap music because I am black. A poignant question, considering that my preferred music types are soft rock, opera, and Igbo Christian tunes. It is the same problem that faces our cinema culture.

You see, I began this by talking about the fact that Kate Winslet’s movie ‘The Reader’ was not aired in Nigerian cinemas. Same way, I was also informed that the cinema this way never showed ‘Vicky Cristina Barcelona’ and ‘Milk’. These were solid movies, all of them. But yet, the same cinemas had no problems showing ‘The Dark Knight’ (I have no issues with that great movie), ‘Iron Man’, ‘Get Smart’ (?), ‘Speed Racer’ and ‘Wanted’. Now, ‘Wanted’ was one silly movie, let’s not even begin to talk about ‘Get Smart’ (very ironic, considering the title)!

What I have a problem with is our own movie selectors type-casting us. Nigerians are not a set of people who only love octane action dramas that are high on blowing up cars and one person beating up 30 bigger people, or surviving multiple plane crashes. There is a significant number of us who want to go to the movies and take something away from the experience whilst being entertained at the same time.

Agents’ selection

I did a little bit of digging. A Silverbird source who didn’t want to be named, explained that the cinema does not get the movies directly from Hollywood studios, but through an agent, and they have to take what is given to them. My source further explained that the studios and their licenced agents have conducted market surveys for the kind of movies supposedly preferred by people in different parts of the world, and it is based on those surveys that they push certain kinds of movies in our direction. The source cited ‘No Country For Old Men’ as an example: while it did extremely well in Europe and America, it was a loss for movie theatres in this part of the world.

But personally, I wouldn’t judge on just that one experience because I see people buying serious stuff from hawkers on the streets. Which is why I disagree not a little, and think there’s a bit of stereotyping at play here; but they pull the financial strings and make the important decisions, which is a little painful for me.

So far, all the reviews I have read about Ben Affleck’s ‘The Town’ are very positive; and the movie has topped $15million at the box office. But there is no mention of it being shown in our cinemas.

The Barbican Centre, London, came alive on October 6 with the music of Afrobeat maestro, Tony Allen, at a musical event held to commemorate his 70th birthday. Tagged ‘Tony Allen 70: Nigeria 50′, the evening also featured Seun Kuti and Keziah Jones alongside international stars like Jimi Tenor, Thandiswa, Pee Wee Ellis and Eska Mtungwazi.

Hailed by the event’s anchor as “The Lion of Lagos, whose music has touched our hearts and souls and feet,” Allen in the three-hour event proceeded to bring the mostly European crowd to its feet with his untamed Afrobeat rhythm in songs like ‘Too Many Prisoners’, ‘Ijo’, and ‘Pariwo’. The event also featured Raggae, Rap, Pop, Blues, with most of the acts accompanied by instrumentals from Allen and his 10-member band.

Reticent

The 70-year-old drummer in halting speech, beseeched the audience early on in the event, saying: “Bear with me tonight, I am not going to be talking, I am not a talker, I don’t know how to talk.” He then remarked, as if in sudden realisation that he had exhibited some oratory skill, “but I am talking now,” quickly promising that it would “be the last one” before he went about his beats with tacit dexterity.

Jimi Tenor performed two songs accompanied by Allen’s Afrobeat before Wunmi, performing Fela Anikulapo-Kuti’s “Upside Down” brought the house down, more with her sensual and energetic African dance than with her impressive rendition of the tune.

Contrary to his earlier promise, however, Allen felt the need to address the audience one more time. He said to them, in apparent bafflement, “There is a problem; the problem is that you are sitting down. I don’t know how you are managing that, it must be painful.” And with this, the crowd, most of whom had been gyrating discreetly on their seats, needed no further urging to commence an all out boogie.

Nigerian Flavour

It was not apparent the sheer force of the Nigerians (or perhaps Africans) within the audience until Keziah Jones sauntered onstage to perform ‘Lagos Versus New York’, a musical examination – characterised by a series of taut strums of his guitar – which focused on differences and similarities between the two cities hailed for their unique characters. He followed this by the mellower and more philosophical ‘A Curious Kind of Subconscious’.

Towards the end of the show, when like me, many Nigerians, might have been contemplating the possibility of Seun Kuti doing a “no show”, he sprung on the audience announcing that he was there to celebrate the birthday of the man whom he fondly called “Uncle Tony”. He drew the line however at celebrating Nigeria. “Nigeria, and 16 other countries gained independence in the same year; it is a time for reflection, not celebration,” he declared with the kind of open frankness that his father had exhibited during his life and musical career.

Fela Reincarnates

In his matching, body-fitting shirt and trousers, Seun Kuti, described by the Barbican as “The charismatic youngest son of Fela and a rising star of contemporary Afrobeat”, recreated the awesome presence of his father. Serenaded by the instrumental version of his father’s songs, ‘Seun Kuti declared, “I am representing one of Tony’s old friends. Due to unforeseen circumstances, he didn’t make it – I’m talking about Fela Anikulapo-Kuti.”

He then proceeded to sing with exacting replication, Fela’s ‘Shuffering and Shmiling’ and ‘Kolomentality’ while the audience danced and sang along with him. If anyone had expected Seun to sing any of his own tunes, they were disappointed, because after his renditions of the songs – two of his father’s more popular ones – he bowed to the audience and exited the stage.

NEXT caught up with Seun Kuti after the event; and he explained that, “I did not want to play my own music because I wanted to remove myself from it. This is about Tony Allen and Fela. The songs I played are two of those he worked with Fela on.”

Seun Kuti, who had last performed at the Barbican in May 2008, however said that London will not be experiencing his Afrobeat in 2010. “Not till next year, I want to stay and enjoy Nigeria for a while,” he said, while expressing his anticipation for this year’s edition of ‘Felabration’, which was scheduled to begin on October 11, a mere days after the Barbican concert.

Celebration

It was the audience’s turn to sing as the crowd rendered a birthday song to Tony Allen. The star studded evening ended with a song aptly titled ‘Celebration’. It was performed by Tony Allen and most of the featured international artistes, who joined him on stage for a final bow to the audience, who with their unaffected appreciation for Afrobeat, affirmed Allen’s statement that “Music has only one language.”

Great historic moments of culture and epoch-making sounds of music happen, for posterity, when iconic musicians overcome seeming competition and perceived rivalry and, rise above the simplistic press hype about the best musicians in the various genres of Nigerian contemporary popular music.

Such is the luck of Nigeria at 50 that two of the true giants of Juju music – with a little prodding from a team of journalistic connoisseurs and event management entrepreneurs par excellence – have agreed to perform together in a proverbial one-night stand in Lagos in a few weeks time.

Ebenezer Obey and Sunny Ade performing live together backed by one band is the dream monster mega-concert of Nigerian contemporary popular music come true and real; thanks to the foresight of Azuka Jebose-Molokwu and Taijowonukabe.

This first-of-its-kind joint Obey-Ade live- concert is a celebration of the coming of age of Nigerian contemporary popular music and the vibrant genre of Juju music in particular.

Ebenezer Obey and King Sunny Ade (KSA) are definitely well worth celebrating. They are creative musicians who by sheer hard work, abundant musical talent, adventure and compelling ambition fired by innovativeness have elevated what is basically a regional and tribal folk tune and folklore-based and laced music, Juju, into a national and internationally-accepted and respected genre of contemporary popular music.

Juju music has deep roots in Yoruba culture as well as diverse levels of involvement and relevance within the same culture. Within the bigger picture of Nigerian contemporary popular music, it can be described as one of the hybrids that came out of Nigeria’s first genre of urban popular music, Highlife. The genre of Highlife itself grew out of the blending of indigenous folk tunes, rhythms, instruments with western musical instruments and socio-entertainment requirements of urbanisation in Nigeria as from the forties.

As an urban social-driven music, Juju has oscillated between being a somewhat crass praise-singing and status-referencing medium to a philosophy-laden and exemplary moral character-uplifting agent. It is no wonder then that Ebenezer Obey the philosopher-King of modern Juju music is now a ‘reformed’ Evangelist preacher-musician.

Origins

The musical roots of contemporary Juju music date back to Apala music, Haruna Ishola, Tunde Nightingale, Ayinde Bakare, I.K.Dairo, Fatai Rolling Dollar and their contributions towards fusing Yoruba rural music and rhythms. All in a quest to create a distinct Highlife flavour out of which Juju and to an extent, Fuji music, have both evolved. The distinguishing elements of these musical variations and their evolution were their peculiar and ‘original’ rhythm instruments and rhythmic patterns. The agidigbo; giant bass thumb piano, talking drums, bata drums, sakara, omele and other indigenous membrane drums as well as the shekere, agogo/metal gongs were the trademark of the music out of which modern Juju music has evolved and grown.

Evolution

Within this context. both Ebenezer Obey and Sunny Ade are notable pioneers in changing the instrumentation and sound of Juju music. They took a leaf from Rex Lawson and introduced two guitars, thus making juju music a guitar driven and led music. This explains why the long list of Juju music superstars and stars; including the woman star Decency, are all guitarists. In the quest to embellish the guitar sound, Sunny introduced the Hawaiian guitar for slide-drone effects. Then came the introduction of trap drums as the key rhythm instrument as in Highlife and Afrobeat; supplemented by indigenous rhythm instruments. Moses Akanbi, master trap drummer for Orlando Julius, joined Sunny’s band as KSA strove successfully with Syncro System to forge a seamless musical fusion between Juju, Afrobeat, Reggae and even Funk to become a truly international star and global chartbuster! Juju music has now become a recognisable brand of its own.

Great bandleaders

Obey and Sunny became great bandleaders; successful enough to maintain full orchestras for three decades. Both are also great lyrical singers; Obey the more classical and craftily sonorous and Sunny more punchy in his inflections and eclectic, due to his awareness of the other voices in the various genres of Nigerian popular music. Obey and Sunny, at best, are competent guitarists but definitely not master guitarists as claimed in the over-hype of their publicity machine of the heady early 70s, when as Commander and King respectively, they overseered the long string of Owambe parties and festivities of military officers and businessmen who were the major beneficiaries of the oil boom and Civil War. They remain great entertainers, unashamed to borrow trends like skimpily-dressed hip-shaking go-go dancers into their acts; to remain modern and relevant.

One Night Stand

Like most great ideas and inventions the thought of staging an Obey-Ade joint performance tagged One-Night Stand came to Azuka Jebose-Molokwu in a flash in faraway Raleigh, North Carolina, one Sunday morning when he was supervising his daughters Amaka and Nneka as they cleaned their room. In the process he ended up with a Sunny Ade CD and an Ebenezer Obey LP. “With a CD and LP in my hands, I conceptualised the idea,” he recalls. “I knew it could happen. I held it back for five or six years. In 2006, I came down for the ThisDay Music Festival. I met Sunny Ade and briefed him and we talked. After 22 years in America, I wanted to come back and contribute. So I told my great friend, Taiwo Obe, and presented him with One Night Stand; Obey and Sunny performing with one band on one night at one venue. I suggested we tie it in with the 50th anniversary and, we are going to do it. We have to do it right: accord Obey and Sunny their respect and acknowledge them as living legends. We then formed a company Grand Faaji Entertainment Company, which will handle the Obey-Sunny concert as well as the business of entertainment, management and ‘politainment’; which entails political entertainment and organising rallies!”

The movers

Azuka Jebose-Molokwu is a well-versed international veteran in the music and entertainment industry. Currently, he works for a community Jazz Public Radio Station 88.9 FM in Raleigh, North Carolina, US. He was a major force in the Nigerian print media as from 1983, working on the Entertainment Desk of Punch newspaper, founding Beats Entertainment magazine the first in Nigeria in 84/85. He was the West Africa Regional Editor for the London-based Africa Music.

The musicians in the backing band are going to come from Obey’s and Ade’s bands and Laolu Akins musician and producer of BLO and Salt international fame, is the producer who will harmonise the two bands into one orchestra; for which Sunny has described him as ‘Commander-in-Chief.’

Grand Faaji

“We are celebrating Obey and Sunny while they are alive,” Jebose-Molokwu emphasises. “We are appreciating them. In our eyes, they have given so much to our pop culture.”

How right and noble! Not surprisingly, Obey initially had reservations, for a man who had gone from secular to gospel music to come out after 17 years of gospel music to perform with KSA. However, by seeking permission through prayers and consultations as a Reverend responsible to his church, Obey finally agreed and is looking forward to the history-making musical event.

What kind of audience does Grand Faaji expect? “Those who love Juju music and have always celebrated Obey and Sunny Ade. And of course the next generation of their fan base,” Jebose-Molokwu responds. As they say, many more will prefer to be there and not to be told!

The Ebenezer Obey-Sunny Ade concert holds at the Eko Hotel and Suites in Lagos on November 7.

I can imagine the look on your face when you see the photograph of Fela and I on this page; what the hell is Jimi smoking? That question could only arise because I was sitting next to the great Abami Eda, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti. That was Fela for you. He affected those around him one way or the other. Fela’s life was about people, period; and that shouldn’t surprise anyone who has caught stories of his childhood in “Fela: This Bitch of a Life” by Carlos Moore.

My late father lived with the Ransome-Kutis as a student, perhaps something to do with some rascality issues at CMS Lagos; so, his father must have dispatched him to Abeokuta Grammar School to live with Oga, Fela’s father. He confirmed to his son later (me, of course) that in Oga’s house there was no discrimination, everybody was a child and student. And that was why, till my father passed on, he always saw Sister Dolu, Fela’s sister, as his own sibling.

Afro Spot

I first met Fela Ransome-Kuti in 1971. A day I will never forget; it was at Afro Spot. I was there with my mum and fela’s sister, Dolupo (mother of Frances Kuboye). Fela was in striking red and yellow and we sat at a special table. Fela came over and shook hands and after saying, “Give my sister what she wants” – he went on stage and blew our minds out with ‘Beautiful Dancer’, ‘Black Mans Cry’ and a track he never recorded, ‘It Is Time We Unite in Africa’. Sandra Danielle in her Nina Simone voice later rendered that good old jazz tune, ‘Sunny’. Then came Joni Haastrup of whom Fela said, “E just come from America, e dey wear shine shine,e go soon tire.”

That was the beginning of the bond between myself and Fela. No weekend passed without me going to Afro Spot, then Africa Shrine in Surulere, Moshalashi (Empire) and then Ikeja. I didn’t go to Crossroads, my father made sure of that. Fela had been thrown out of his house and declared Public Enemy; and my father, liberal though he was, made me swear I wouldn’t go anywhere near Crossroads. Since my father is dead, I will confess I went a couple of times. I can boast there is no Fela ‘sound’ I don’t know off-head. Even when I mentioned some ‘sounds’ to Baba Ani, leader of the Egypt 80 for over 25 years, he looked bewildered, given that he couldn’t remember the band playing those tunes. As for Fela, he couldn’t be bothered about posterity; he probably thought he was invincible. Fela couldn’t be bothered about many things. At one point, he didn’t have good instruments such that when he played in University of Benin in 1975 at a music festival of the then Klova Klub, Joni Haastrup pulled a bigger crowd.

All Fela’s fans believed they had a special and exclusive relationship with him, which of course wasn’t true. Fela to me was always in a crowd but always alone. He was Baba to everybody but Fela to himself. So rather than talk of Fela I will talk about things that happened to me around him.

Africa table

I remember the day Fela first played ‘Trouble Sleep Yanga Go Wake Am’ at Surulere Night Club. The arrangement was heavy that night. I sat on a big ‘Africa’ table for special guests with Femi Somade (Loughty) and others .As soon as Fela started the horn arrangement, up went Femi’s two legs under the table and down went all the drinks on it. Loughty was too excited as he couldn’t contain himself. He served round the table twice in quick succession as compensation. The Africa table! I remember sitting on this same table at the launch of ‘Roforofo Fight’ Fela’s first double album. I was then at the Evening Times with Toyin Makanju, my boss. Sitting in front of me were Chief and Mrs Olajoyegbe, owners of Jofabro Records, who released the album. I drank every big stout in sight and the cigarette in my mouth (big town) never seemed to burn out. Why did the Chief keep looking at me? “Nje omo Abayomi ko yi? (Is this not Abayomi’s son?)” – he asked me. “Yes sir!” The cigarette dropped and I headed in the direction of the loo and then the exit. The show ended for me, and for all ‘well brought up children’ then – you needn’t ask why.

The backyard

Another quick exit happened at the backyard (don’t ask what happened there).There was a sudden fire from electrical wires and then pandemonium. A fan ran for Fela’s sax and kept it for him (he was later rewarded). I thought I was smart. I jumped the high wall from the backyard and landed in ‘Area’, where queens of the night were ready to service prospective customers. They even beckoned to me, perhaps wondering if I needed to cool down after my ordeal. Minutes later everything was brought under control and I decided to go back. But ‘Eddie Lagos State’, a die-hard Fela fan and lord of the backyard, wouldn’t hear of it. He turned my palm into an ashtray to put out the ‘jerugbe’ in his hand. “So, na we wan die with Baba? We no fit jump wall run, abi? If them born you well, jump this wall again.” Thank God this was 76/77. Had it been earlier, I would have had Ateme, Roy or Eko to contend with. Those were the times Fela had well-built bodyguards around him; and Eko was known for his famous ‘Mighty Igor’ head butt.

Women

Fela was an entertainer in all manners possible. On stage, at home, in public, he was always entertaining. What most people don’t know was that Fela reacted to his environment. Go greet Fela at home with your babe and he would go, “Na your woman be that?” He would get up and offer a seat and drinks etc. Fela to me was a gentleman but his side as an entertainer always took over. I don’t dare recount in full Fola Arogundade’s story about once going to see Fela. He was ushered into the room and when Fela turned round to say ‘hello’, Fola thought he saw someone bent over. He didn’t wait to confirm but then he heard Fela say, “Abeg Fola, I go soon finish, I go come see you.” I remember when I interviewed Fela for my Sixty Minutes column in Vanguard. Half way through the interview, Fela just jumped up and said, “Disu, no vex, I wan go f*ck.” And off he went.

The royal python

This brings us to the royal python. Fela was heavily endowed and he made great show of it. “Wrong parking”! we would all bark at him and he would say, “no parking space, abeg.” I saw the royal python live! When he came out of prison I went to see him at Beko’s house. He was seeing off someone as I approached the house. I couldn’t believe what I saw. He had his pants on all right, but the royal python had slipped out of its lair. “Baba, e be like royal python don comot o!” “No mind am, my brother” – he smiled and put it back in. Fela had the greatest sexual appetite I knew, followed by two Egba kinsmen – one dead, the other living whose name I would rather (or is it dare?) not mention here. Could it be something in the Egba diet? But then, Fela’s appetite wasn’t just for women. Fela loved the weed; and I was there the first time he brought ‘Dunduke’ to the shrine. It’s the biggest weed ever wrapped, the end being about the size of a Coca Cola bottle, and seemed to match the 35cl in length.

Sounds!

Fela’s music was something else. You just have to give it to him. His music was, or rather is, unique and the lyrics thought provoking. Listen to the poetry in ‘Teacher Don’t Teach Me Nonsense’:

“Democrazy

Crazy demonstration

Demonstration of craze.

For all you non-patrons of the shrine: you missed hearing ‘Chop and Clean Mouth’ ‘Country of Pain’, ‘Football Government’, ‘NNG (Nigerian Natural Grass)’, ‘Condom Scallywag and Scatter’ ‘BBC (Big Blind Country’), ‘Movement Against Second Slavery’, ‘MASS’, ‘GOC’, ‘Akunakuna Senior Brother of Perambulator’ – and many more. Pity he couldn’t be bothered to keep them for posterity.

Oh Fela! I will miss Fela, I will miss him. You should count yourselves lucky there’s brevity of space here, or I would have gone on 16 pages and not run out of stories. I stopped watching Fela two years before his death when he started doing things on stage I couldn’t be a part of; but then, I love Fela so much I can’t bring myself to expose or criticise him. So, I leave the rest to your imagination…

And oh, by the way, what you see me smoking in the photograph is a cigarette. Don’t believe me? Sorry o, too bad.

The cultural centre of the Korean Embassy in Abuja has held a cultural gala night to celebrate Nigeria’s Golden Jubilee.

The September 29 event attracted members of the diplomatic corps and friends of Nigeria and Korea from the public and private sectors attended the night, the grand finale of a month-long of activities the Koreans put together to commemorate 30 years of bilateral relations with Nigeria.

The audience was treated to performances of Korean and Nigerian traditional folk theatre and dances at the occasion. The all male Korean troupe presented Samullori and Seoljanggu, folk percussion ensembles; Hallyangmu and Salpuri, folk dances and Korean traditional folk theatre. Nigeria, represented by the Federal Capital Territory cultural troupe, also put up a stunning dance drama.

An interesting piece on the night was Pangut, a total form of art that involves play and formation of various group dispositions; while the latter part is devoted to showcasing individual feats such as the sangshoe nori, seoljanggu nori, and sogo nori. Yeoldubal sangmo, where the dancer spins a very long ribbon; and sori gut, in which the performers sing folksongs – excited the audience.

Citing a Korean proverb, ‘Seeing once is better than hearing 100 times’, the Korean Minister of Culture, Sports and Tourism said, “Watching this type of performances is the most effective way of exchanging cultures. In the past, because of the great geographical distance, people of the two countries had few opportunities to satisfy their curiosity about each other. Now, we have a chance to actually see and feel the culture of the other side through exchanges of stage performances like this one and deepen understanding and friendship between our two nations.”

The Abuja Choral group also rendered a special performance on the evening. Another FCT based troupe, led by Kayode Aiyegbusi, an assistant Director at the Art Council, also performed in far away Seoul, for the same reasons as the Abuja event.

Speaking at the event, Chung Un-chan, a former Prime Minister of Korea who is in Nigeria as his country’s special envoy for Nigeria’s Golden Jubilee celebration observed that Korea and Nigeria have moved along same path of national development. “Even though there is a slight time gap, our two countries have been moving along similar course of national development since independence. We both achieved a peaceful change of administrations after an era of military-led governments and have been making progress in all sectors, including politics and the economy.”

A fictional name, ‘NIKOREA’ was also coined at the event during the cutting of a giant cake donated by the Embassy. Patrick Omo Otoro, an Abuja based compere asked the audience: “how shall we cut this cake – after the spelling of Nigeria or Korea?” The audience unanimously thundered ‘N-I-K-O-R-E-A!’