Nigeria Content Online

It really is
difficult sometimes when we pay attention to issues that would have
been insignificant. This is not because they are not important, but
because we should have been so used to doing them that the entire world
would be saying “it is their culture” or “that is how they behave”.

Unfortunately, what
the world refers to as our culture is heart rendering. This includes:
corruption, 419 and Italian prostitution, amongst other vices. I have
three sisters and I remember my mother telling them, “Please, close
your legs; sit like a woman” or “If you don’t want to come to the
kitchen, your husband will get satisfaction in another woman’s
kitchen”, “A dirty woman must definitely drive her husband out of the
house” and so on.

This is our culture
and they form part of what I looked out for in my wife, guided by these
noble lines from the Bible: “a wife of noble character who can find,
she is worth more than rubies.” So I can confidently say it is the
culture of women the world over. It is the way God created women, to be
in charge of the home, to be virtuous women, wives and mothers.

Unfortunately, a
lot of our girls these days do not mirror the above noble qualities and
a friend of mine, who is yet to be married, said, “Men, there are no
wives around anymore, only girlfriends” while trying to explain away
his unmarried state. Another jokingly said, “Senator Yerima could not
find virgins in Nigeria anymore, that is why he went to Egypt”.

Well, I had to
quickly point to him that, in spite of the gloomy picture, there are
still women of noble character around. But I must confess, they may go
into extinction if we do not make deliberate efforts to retrace our
steps; we are not Americans.

A lot of women and
to my amazement, some men inclusive, are “taking Panadol for another
man’s headache” with this women liberation and girl power programmes.
Liberate the women from where or whom?

For Christ’s sake,
a woman is a woman and a man is a man. You cannot undo what God has
done. Some women have neglected their duties, pursued careers, selling
themselves in the process to different men and now end up buying one
lazy, shameless boy and really wed and weld him down. The boy is not
able to play the role of the man because he is not the bread winner. He
now, in turn, engages in extra-marital activities. He now satisfies
himself with other young girls outside and the vicious circle continues
– he does not stay at home, to avoid being hen-pecked; the wife too is
busy trying to maintain her status. With house helps, DSTV, Internet
and wild friends, our children are becoming American-Nigerians, a
confused race, lacking proper home training.

One woman, however,
provided a counterpoint recently, while I was trying to ginger her to
donate during a launching programme after a man had donated. I reminded
the audience that “what a man can do, a woman can do better.” But when
she took the microphone, she said she was taught that “what a man can
do, a woman should not bother”. I treat my wife like a queen because
she treats me as a king and we are teaching our children exactly these
same attributes. Girls should be trained to be wives and mothers, while
the boys should be disciplined into responsible fathers.

I remember a lecturer discussing a book where one author insisted
that if you buy a ball for your male child, buy a ball for the female
too and that if you asked the girls to join their mothers in the
kitchen, do the same to the boys. The teacher ended her lecture that
day with these very wise saying to the ladies in the class: “if you
want to pass this course, give me back exactly what you have in this
book. But if you want to maintain, retain and sustain your homes,
please do not follow these oyibo people.”