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Never mind that
Valentine’s Day was two days ago, love is still very much in the air.
No better time for people to show love and for business to pick up than
the month of February after a January of surprises. You turn on the
news and you read the papers and everything, whether on local, state,
national, regional or international news has to do with politics and
its aftermath. So it is always so nice to get a distraction; an aside
from reality.

With every debate,
there are always two sides to the story. While January was the month of
break-ups and new beginnings, February can be seen as a month of
restoration or should I say, payback time. You have to love our girls.
They have dusted the dirt off their shoulders and some have gone as far
as indulging a full body makeover; hair, eyelashes, teeth, face, skin,
manicure, pedicure and even weight loss/gain. It is not just for
February 14, rather it is for the whole week and weekend. So no hiding
place for men who give the excuse of working late, as there is always
the weekend to spread some love and spend some money.

The truth is that
nobody wants to ‘roast’, especially with Valentine’s Day being on a
weekday. Everyone in the office will be eyeing each other’s goodies or
lack of goodies. Even in schools, the competition would be on all week.
“Oh my boyfriend just travelled to Lagos for the weekend and couldn’t
make in time on Monday. Don’t worry, he has promised to make it all up
to me once he gets in.” And be sure that the lady will bring the gifts
the next day to the office to show off and prove that the boyfriend was
indeed real and not a figment of her imagination.

But for those that
do not have boyfriends, husbands, sugar daddies and so on, desperate
times call for desperate measures! A scroll through the phone book
provides an endless list of possible alternatives. After selecting a
few of the ‘mugus’ and ‘magas’, a phone call is put through and then
comes the sexy voice, “Hey baby! How ya doing? I’ve really missed you.
I hope you are not too busy tonight. Why don’t you take me to Meridien
and be my Val.” If it is an equally roasting guy with some dough and in
search of action, he would probably reply. “Yes dear, I’ve really
missed you (even though they haven’t spoken since last October). Why
don’t you come by my place. I have a surprise waiting for you and then
we can go anywhere you want.”

If the girl is just
in search for the goodies rather than a good time, she would find ways
of getting out of the ‘meet-me-at-my-home’ part. The excuses will
start; traffic, house chores, work commitments, parents, illness and so
on. If none works, she would probably turn up at his place and tell him
straight on that she’s on her period, so nothing can happen. Now if he
is the kinky type, she’s in trouble. She better just say she is on the
path of celibacy.

The moral of the story is that it takes two to play the game; and by
the game, I am referring to this form of “coded prostitution”. Seasons
like Christmas, birthdays and Valentine’s Day. In fact anything to do
with gifts and we see a different shade of red come out. The one that
takes no prisoners and stops at nothing till it gets what it wants.
While one has no problems with reuniting with “lost” friends of the
opposite sex on such days, it is the motive behind it that gets me
going. Have we sunk so low that we throw all decorum into the marines
for a gift or booty call? There is life after Valentine’s Day and we
shall all live with the consequences of our actions. And if anyone was
thinking of making me their Val, a nice comment at the end of my piece
will do and perhaps a bunch of red roses too.