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One of the major challenges
confronting us as a people today is the “copy-cat syndrome” which in pidgin
parlance is referred to as “kopi kopi”. It is about our knack for imitating
foreign styles and mannerisms that fail to gel with our unique socio-cultural
makeup.

Despite being aware of this, most of
us still go on pretending about it. Laik say notin de hapun. Time without
number, I had reason to ponder over the mannerisms of supposed “trained”
receptionists and telephone operators who in replying visitors either in person
or via the phone, would say “how may I help you? “- a new way of receiving guests
since the advent of GSM. In the old days, it was “Can I help you?”

My grouse actually is with the
oyi-boik manner in which they speak. Receptionists have had to repeat
themselves with attendant man-hour losses. Situations like these have resulted
in quarrels with pipul wey no get taim fo nonsense. Why not just say “abeg, e
get wetin ah fit du fo yu?” Meaning, “please, can I be of help to you?” Pilots and
crewmembers sometimes spoil the day for passengers in their “spree spree spree” (blabbing) because they hardly communicate.

Passengers have to strain to make
out what they are saying about flight time and general safety tips. After
delaying our flight departure time from 3.20 to 8.30pm, the annoyance of
passengers was set to blow. It was an Abuja – Sokoto flight by one of these new
generation airlines. As preparation for landing at Sultan Abubakar III
International Airport, Sokoto began a member of the cabin crew started
announcing in “spree spree spree” which stoked the anger even more.

You could hear loud hisses and comments like, “abeg mek una drop os”, “wich kain tin bi dis?” “Dis won na big nonsens”. And
there was no apology whatsoever to passengers. To my mind, and just like the
earlier scenario painted in the case of the receptionists, a smart cabin crew
would have doused the tension on board dat aftanun to nait flait by saying, “wi de beg una wel wel. Wi don fol awa han. Wi no go du so egen lai lai. Mek una
fogiv os”.

Translation: We seriously plead for forgiveness. We are clearly at fault. We have
disappointed you all. We will never do so again. Please, forgive us.

In
situations like that, only the use of the language of the people would help. No
bi big big grama wey pesin no go hia wel. Don’t tell that us there may be other
nationalities on board the flight. Oyibo na awa languej? How about pilots
learning Naija Pidgin?

Nigeria’s No.1 rap artist, RUGGEDMAN
once accused his fellow musician Idris Abdulkareem of “kopi kopi” meaning that
his work was “not original”. The accusation led to a thaw in their
relationship. However, they later made up and even did a musical “kolabo” as a
proof of their peaceful reconciliation and resolve to move the music industry
forward.

Previously in this column, I
recounted how a Nigerian broadcaster lost the golden opportunity of working
with the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) because, at the interview
session, he was said to have indulged in “tok tok fo noz” like “spree spree
spree”, “kopi kopi” and all that jazz. He was imitating the oyibos, trying to
be more British than the British. He lost the job. Of kos na!

If you have seen Hamisu Rogo
reporting on NTA, you can differentiate between genuine reporting and kopi kopi
reporting; he is a true Nigerian. No kopi kopi! At the National Assembly, one
Hon Alias “Igodomigodo” from Edo State does a lot of kopi kopi that reminds one
of the late Sam Mbakwe of “timba & kaliba” fame.

Whether he is actually helping his
people get the dividends of democracy by his verbosity or effectively
communicating with his colleagues in the hallowed chambers is none of my
business. Mai oun bi se, dis kain tok tok wit big big grama no dey fo maket
egen. (e no de ren).

After taking a second look at the “copy cat syndrome”, it needs to be repeatedly said that, in these times of
re-branding, kopi kopi de fol awa han. It is doing a lot of damage to our true
identity as a nation, as Nigerians in all ramifications. A re-orientation is
urgently required. Hau pesin go jos de tok wit noz. Blo oyibo we no get hed, no
get tel. Haba!