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Do you sometimes in your “alone”
time take your thoughts back to things that have happened in your life? I
believe most people do. Sometimes you think of the interesting things, at other
times you think of stuff that may have annoyed or intrigued you, sometimes even
the downright funny ones that make you laugh out loud to yourself.

Well, I had that “alone” time
recently and this is what popped into my head. Six years ago during my campus
days, I walked into the room of a girlfriend who happened to live in the same
building as me. There were at least four guys and my friend. I greeted the
dudes and sat down. I was not prepared to leave the room just because she had
visitors.

I had been completely bored in my
own room and soon I joined in the discussion at hand. We ‘gisted’ for a while
and soon one of the guys who was called Jyke (short for Ejike) stood and walked
out the room. He came in shortly and asked if I stayed upstairs. When I nodded
in the affirmative, he asked if I knew a certain Enkay.

Again, I said I did. The girl lived
just few rooms away from mine. What Jyke said next did not take me by surprise.
He said ” E get wen I bin dey nail that babe o.”(If you do not get what he
meant, he was saying that he used to be sexually involved with the girl).

When he said that, the dudes in the
room were all interested and started asking questions which would make even you
cringe if I wrote them down here, but please, just imagine the sort of
questions they were asking Jyke and the answers he gave to them, if you can.

I was not surprised by this turn of
the conversation but I was embarrassed. I knew people talked about their
sexcapades to close friends (at least I know one or two who do) but the reason
some make it a topic for discussion with every friend they know, even perfect
strangers eludes me.

Growing up, I knew sex to be an act
practiced by two consenting adults. I also knew that if there was no respect
attached to it, it would not have been a “behind closed doors” act.

But these days, we kiss and tell.
We “nail” someone and shout it out to willing listeners. Where is the respect
then? I spoke to some guys and girls about the reasons for this and got a few
responses.

A friend told me that guys like to
show off to their friends that they still have the swagger. It is an “ego”
thing. If as a guy, your friends know you are not getting any, they will
ridicule you. So when you get some, you make noise about it.

Again I was made to understand that
not all guys boast about their sexcapades for that reason. I heard some guys
even lie about it just so they would come across as some hunk with a swagger.
That is really lame and funny.

The guys I spoke with also made
sure to tell me that not all girls are spoken about like that. They say that
when a guy really cares about and respects a woman, he does not speak about his
sexual moments with her to anyone, even his close friends.

They believe that some women do not
respect themselves and so deserve to be spoken about while some must have made
too much “shakara” so that when a guy finally gets to sleep with her, he makes
sure to tell his friends of his conquest.

While this is behaviour that is
prevalent with the male folk, the females also show off but according to my
friend, they do it in a wickedly subtle way when they want to let their
girlfriends know that the guy (who they believe may’ve been full of himself) is
not “all that.”

One of the guys I spoke to asked me
to stop attacking men because women are worse than men in that they do not even
“nail” and tell, they sometimes “chop” and run… meaning that some girls
actually weave deceptive techniques to get a guy’s money without giving him any
and when they do, run without a backward glance; that my friends, is definitely
a gist for another day.

There may be many reasons for this
act of “kiss and tell” but do you really think any of them is justified?