Nigeria Content Online

Johannesburg.
June 9. On this day of glorious sunshine and sparkling blue skies with
the sound of possibly 40 million vuvuzelas smashing through the
marvellous clarity of a South African winter afternoon, there probably
can be no better time to reflect on why a seemingly happy marriage of
40 years should end in separation. To explain: today was vuvuzela day,
to celebrate the South African national football team Bafana Bafana and
send them off with a show of support, all work stopped at 12 p. m.
today for the blowing of vuvuzelas nonstop for 5 minutes. Workers in
soccer jerseys and fan regalia in front of their workplaces, along with
children dismissed today for the start of the soccer holiday, were out
on the streets. As the vuvuzelas blared, car horns tooted and people
cheered one another. It was impossible not to join in the fun and feel
the spirit of exhilaration, anticipation and yes nationalism with
everyone united under one aspiration.

Its five hours
gone, dusk is descending and still even in the suburbs the quiet is
broken by the distant sound of a vuvuzela blaring and car horns tooting
in response. How to put a curb on African passion, confine it to
mundane parameters such as time and space, rsvping and keeping to
schedules, not to mention buying tickets early? Never been done, but
FIFA is about to try it.

For a moment all
seems well with the surrounding world and why should it not be so also
after 40 years of a marriage? Former US vice president under Bill
Clinton, Al Gore and his wife Tipper Gore last week announced they were
separating. No reasons were given and the shock that seemed to
characterise the general response to the news was because the couple
seemed so perfect together exhibiting an unrelenting passion for each
other. That famous kiss looked as if they drank it to the last drop,
making you want to whoop and cheer with a way to go guys! Especially
too because in many cultures there seems to be some musty unwritten
rule that middle age in marriage means middle ground in everything.
Children, those of whom it is rightly said youth is wasted on the young
find the idea of passion between their parents ridiculous and slightly
embarrassing.

No doubt news of
the Obamas splitting would elicit the same response as they are another
couple who seem to have the correct dosage of all the requirements:
love passion, respect, balance with no apparent sign that age is gong
to knock it off.

But stop a minute
and think about it: Forty years of a successful Gore union. Count the
benchmarks, successful careers, children they can be proud of with
grandchildren to boot, recognition for both of them for championing
causes they believe, even more a new career with substantial financial
rewards after the devastating loss of the 2000 presidential campaign.
When you tote up the wins and losses it has been a great innings.

Think about it: no
one really has a concept of what forever means. Even when you say the
words till death do us part, or make your commitment to care for as
spouse, there is really no clear picture of what that means. Most of us
can’t see beyond the fresh face of the loved one whose eyes you are
staring into, and when that fresh face is the latest of three, who
really knows?

There is allegedly,
a scandal currently swirling around one of the South African president
Jacob Zuma’s wives. But really, he does, she does, what’s the big deal?
Can that really be an issue in a marriage of multiple spouses? Surely
the success of the union is predicated on some higher value?

But back to the
Gores; what really strikes one here is the admirable flexibility of the
American way of life; I do not want to call it a system. They have a
marvelous capacity for change, which creates the space for invention
and encourages self-fulfillment in the individual.

Change is good.
There is nothing wrong with calling it quits, taking a break to pursue
new goals or even explore old abandoned ones. The wording of the Gore
announcement stressed separation not divorce. Maybe it is marriage on a
different level, not tethered by physical boundaries, but based on a
level of understanding and respect for each other’s needs that only
forty years of knowing can teach; not cribbed by the rules of habit,
custom, or of what people will say, that sometimes dictate why many
persist in lifeless unions.

Maybe forever is just forty years and no more, or then again maybe its just 10.