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Imagine Facebook existed during the reign of Sani Abacha.
Instead of inviting traditional rulers to the screening of the ‘Diya Coup’
videos he’d simply have tagged them on Facebook; if, that is, he refrained –
against the advice of persons like Al-Mustapha – from totally banning the
social networking site in Nigeria.

Sadly we will never know. Abacha did not wait to see the
Internet boom. Obasanjo and Yar’Adua who on the other hand saw it did not care
much for it; they were our own George W. Bush.

Goodluck Jonathan is therefore a breath of fresh air.

Not only is he the first Nigerian president from a minority
ethnic group, he will also go down in history as the first Nigerian leader to
embrace social networking as a tool of governance. If Obasanjo was our
Television President (recall the Presidential media chats, and the nationwide
broadcast announcing that the Senate President and Education Minister were
thieves), Jonathan is our Facebook President.

As I write this he is the most popular Nigerian on Facebook.
Only two weeks after joining he has amassed more than 120,000 followers. Apart
from a glitch early on, that saw the defacement by some e-miscreants of the
president’s photo pages (images of an unknown nude man suddenly appeared in the
hallowed presidential arena); Mr.

Jonathan has been having a blast. Thursday morning he had about
116,000 “likers”. Twenty-four hours later the number had risen to more than
121,000.

A cartoon by our own Zapiro, the inimitable Asukwo E.B., has Mr.
Jonathan in bed, eyes glued to his laptop, while he tells a sleepy dame that
he’ll remain awake for a bit longer; he has to check his Facebook page. If I
had any drawing talent I’d instantly create my own cartoon: Aunty Dame wagging
her finger furiously at the President, muttering: “Today you are going to tell
me who the First Lady is; me or that Lap-top…”

Mr. Jonathan’s Facebook page sure is the place to be these days.
Next time you wonder why no one is commenting on your update or note, or poking
you; why the alleys of Facebook seem deserted, wonder not far: all are smitten
and have succumbed to the allure of e-AsoRock. Every presidential update is
commented upon and “liked” by not less than 2,000 people. Compare that with the
half dozen comments that most of us would be grateful for.

If half as many people liked Obasanjo we’d be talking about a
fourth term for the old man today. (It’s a good thing Obasanjo wasn’t on
Facebook as president; imagine this appearing in newsfeeds all over Facebook,
while both men were still in office: “Obasanjo is no longer listed as being in
a (political) relationship with Atiku.”

The multitude of fawning comments on the page say a lot about
the Nigerian psyche. In a land under the siege of Big Men, we are suckers for
accessibility and a semblance of humility. Murtala Muhammed stands out in the
annals of Nigerian history for many reasons, one of which is that he shunned
the trappings of power expected of his position – long, sirened convoys with
animals-in-uniform hanging from every corner.

Recall also how Governor Ayodele Fayose became a folk hero of
sorts in Ekiti for his penchant for eating in roadside bukas and stopping to
buy suya and roasted corn in public. Governor Fashola stands out in Lagos for
the unobtrusiveness of his convoy – flashing siren lights without the sound.

And recently I saw former Cross River State governor Donald Duke
walk into the Genesis Deluxe Cinemas in Lekki, with his wife and daughters – if
you didn’t know him you wouldn’t have guessed this was an ex-governor and a
current presidential candidate. As they joined the queue to buy popcorn, I
almost simultaneously joined the Donald Duke fan queue (were it not for the
cynicism I have learned to wear as a protective mask).

Moral of the stories above: Nigerians, citizens of a land
perpetually starved of heroes and (true) humility, are drawn in a mysterious
way to Big Men who strive to not act like Big Men.

The president must have discovered that Facebook is one cheap
and easy means to be a Big Man who does not appear to be a Big Man.

But watch out Mr. President. Your current monopoly of Facebook
might not last very long. One Very-Important-Personality has also recently
discovered Facebook. Max Gbanite, a diehard IBB supporter (the man never tires
of writing long rambling pro-Babangida essays on the Internet) told a Nigerian
newspaper last week: “Babangida enjoys reading Facebook and sends messages
under a different name; Babangida is a gigabyte thinking man, he is not
operating on the outdated DOS (Disk Operating System) level.”

There it is: Maradona is now a fan of Facebook! Indeed the
battle ahead is a “Gigabyte” one, and Nigeria’s next president just might be
decided on Facebook! But jokes apart, two questions for you, dear reader: one,
what will you do when that inevitable friend request from IBB shows up?

Two, have you “liked” Goodluck Jonathan today?