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You know those “small boys” who don’t know their mom’s age-mate?
The kind that would come up boldly to you in his saggy jeans, T-shirt and I-pod
and say “what’s up?’ like he cannot see from the more mature crowd around you
in their sedate clothing, that the difference in your ages would make for a
good algebra question? Your friends call them chewing-gum boys or when it is
serious, chewing-gum boyfriends.

Chewing-gum boyfriend (CGB) is different from sugar-boy o!
Sugar-boy is almost equivalent to gigolo except that a gigolo is more
equivalent to male prostitute and highly equivalent to high-class aristo chick/prostitute.
A gigolo could also be your age-mate, younger or older than you. (Sugar boy na
small pikin wey dey date him mama and the mama feeds him.)

A CGB, on the other hand, is that guy who wants to date you even
though you are so obviously out of his league financially and intellectually.
Based on achievements alone, he is a baby compared to you. Then again, he is so
much younger than you that you could be his mom. Anyone can see that he was
learning to make sentences with two-letter words while you were posing proudly
for your matriculation picture. Even now, he is wondering about the best place
to go for his industrial attachment while you are working this correct
nine-to-five job.

And this is after earning your Master’sdegree.

He is what you and your friends call “sweet and mature for his
age” and you are flattered that he would even give you such attention. But he
is serious. He hates girls his age or younger. He prefers a “real woman”.

Still, even as he gives you your respect he wants his own respect.
He wants to be the man in your relationship. Age is nothing but a number, he
tells you. He has set certain standards for himself and if you give him time he
will get there.

He will not collect your money (not like you would be foolish
enough to give him) instead he buys things for you- more expensive stuff than
an average boyfriend would ever have given you. You wonder where he gets his
dough. Well, CGB has turned hustler just because he wants to take care of his
“mature babe”.

He sees himself as more serious minded than his peers. And for
the mere fact that he can afford to date you, he gets serious respect from
them, which is something he is proud of.

You are tempted to fall for CGB because while you were getting
that degree and earning those big bucks you forgot to also invest in a
relationship. Now all the guys your age are hooked up and older guys want much
younger and fresher girls- the ones with pointy breasts that look almost like
virgins.

Age is nothing but a number, CGB keeps drumming into your ears
but by the time he is through with school, gets a job and is ready to settle
down your child bearing days would be over. And you want kids, abi?

Then, there is the issue with your friends- those well-balanced
“wise” friends of yours, who can’t help thinking that out of desperation, you
are considering getting serious with a man-child when a man is really what you
need.

Chewing-gum boyfriend is a derogatory and condescending term that
was coined by not so enlightened people like your friends. It is their way of
describing the most expensive gift an “overly ambitious boy like that” would
ever be able to woo his woman-love with.

So, in trying to figure out this dilemma you suddenly find
yourself in, ask yourself these questions: By what standards is a man judged a
man? Is it by his gender, his achievements, or his age? Is it by what he can
afford to buy a woman? And speaking of age, does it tally with the maturity of
his mind?

Finally, ask yourself this most important of all questions: What
really do you want from your man- love or his birth certificate?