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It took Alao Ayorinde close to two days to come to Ikeja from his home at Dopemu, a Lagos suburb.

On a normal day, the transport fare from his house at Shitta Street to Oduduwa at Ikeja is less than N200.

However, raising
that amount was a task for the 30-year-old panel beater and auto
mechanic; a father of five children: four boys and a girl.

The first boy came
barely two years after Mr. Ayorinde got married to Adijat, a
seamstress, in 2002. Six years later when its seemed as if Mrs.
Ayorinde can no longer bear a child, Nature more than smiled on them,
giving them quadruplets.

The children, a
girl and three boys, delivered at the Sacred Heart Hospital Lantoro,
Abeokuta, on July 18, 2009, will be nine months old in April.

Mr. Ayorinde, who
has taken to begging on the streets of Lagos in order to feed and
clothe the children, said he can do with some help from the public.

“My sister, I am
sorry for coming late for this meeting with you. I was looking for
money to take transport and come here at Ikeja. It was one of my
friends that even borrowed me N300 to come here. This is how my life
has been since God blessed me with these four kids at the same time.
There is no money on me anymore because all the money I get goes to
feeding, clothing and medicals for these children. Life has not been
easy at all.”

Financial assistance not coming.

NEXT exclusively
reported the delivery of the babies through a caesarean section, and
the hardship the family was going through to cater for the children’s
need. “With NEXT’s assistance, we opened an Access Bank account for the
Ayorinde quadruplets but it is sad that we have no money in that
account. It was the Alake of Egbaland, who gave us, N20, 000 and two
bags of rice. The Oshile of Egbaland gave us N10, 000, also the
Olugbara of Igbaraland supported us with N5000. One Alhaji gave us
N10,000, others like Mrs. Yemisi gave N2000. I have been to several
ministries. Like the ministry of women affairs in Lagos State, but they
keep telling me to come back. I have written several letters, to no
avail. The money which we got last year is finished. I used to make
close to N3000-5000 in a day but since these children came, there is no
money again. I am appealing to people to come to our aid and provide
job for me. If I have a good job, I can take care of my family too.”

Surviving on semovita

Despite the hardship, Mr. Ayorinde is facing with catering for his kids, he said he will not give out any of them.

“Sometime last
year, I ran away when the burden became too much, but the love for my
wife and children brought me back. I said, whatever it is, we should
suffer together, no matter the hardship. I will never give out any of
the children. Right now, we are so broke that the children are eating
semovita and milk. In a week, they can eat food up to N15,000. My rent
in our one-room apartment will soon be due. Even with this condition,
thieves came to our house last month and stole our money and handsets.

“The thieves acted
on the rumour that I have made N4million from people, which is not
true. The assistance is not coming and that is why we are begging
people again to come to our aid. With what I have seen with these
children, I have asked God to bless other people with children. These
ones are okay for me. God should just give me money to feed them.”

Eleven years after the Senate’s
electronic voting system was abandoned for inaccuracy, the Senate has
reactivated the voting machines in preparation for the vote on the
amendment of the 1999 Constitution.

Few minutes before the Tuesday plenary,
the Senators were informed that they could not use their desk
microphones like they did last week. David Mark, the Senate President
informed them that before they could use their microphones, they would
need an electronic swipe card to get it functional.

Shortly after, the senators were given
some customised electronic swipe cards and taught how to operate the
new voting system. The senators were visibly excited as they tested the
viability of the cards with each senator having two spare cards.

To vote on a matter which the senate
president wishes be done electronically, a senator will be required to
first slot in the card and just push a yes or no button in the audio
control panel on his front desk. The votes are then registered on two
display boards placed where every senator can see, and also on a
smaller panel on the senate president’s desk.

According to Mr. Mark, a hard copy of the votes indicating how the senators voted can also be printed out for authentication.

“The essence of reactivating the
electronic voting machine is to lessen the time that will be spent on
voting on each of the 39 constitutional amendment bills,” Mr. Mark said.

Late last month, when the senators
voted on amendment of sections 145 and 190 of the 1999 constitution,
the senate spent three hours voting on the bill because every senator
stood to say their names and how they vote on the bills. This latest
innovation is meant to minimize time spent on voting on crucial bills.

In less important bills or motions, the
Senate use other voting methods like voice vote in which the senate
president uses his judgement to decide which chorus was louder.
Sometimes it is difficult for him to deliver empirically sound judgment
based on the voices alone.

In some other cases, the senate divides
the house in such a way that those in favour of a particular issue sit
on one side of the aisle and then they are counted.

At
least 40 per cent of people in Sub-Saharan Africa do not have access to
safe drinking water, and 1.8 million children less than five years old
die every year from water-related disease around the world, which is
one child every 20 seconds, United Nations Environment Programmes
Report reveals on Monday.

The report also
shows that more people now die from contaminated and polluted water
than from all forms of violence including wars, as over half the
world’s hospitals beds are now occupied with people suffering from
illnesses linked with contaminated water.

The report was released to mark the World Water Day, on 22 March, with the theme, ‘Sick water.’

Almost 900 million
people currently lack access to safe drinking water, and an estimated
2.6 billion people lack access to basic sanitation. It however, reveals
that industrial pollution and other forms of pollution contribute to
the contamination of useable water.

South Asia and
sub-Saharan Africa, which have the highest proportion in the crisis,
lead with around 221 million and 330 million (respectively) living
without basic sanitation and access to good safe drinking water.

Despite the
increasing aids to the 830 million people in Sub-Saharan Africa,
wherein only six African countries do not belong geographically:
Algeria, Egypt, Libya, Morocco, Tunisia, Western Sahara (claimed by
Morocco), the reports reveal that the economic losses due to the lack
of water and sanitation in Africa alone is estimated at $US28.4 billion
or about five per cent of GDP.

No recycling in Nigeria

Lyn Olisa, a
Nigerian environmentalist, however said that despite the improved
funding and the effect of the climate change, recent developments have
revealed that people’s attitude to the environment and water use is not
proper and should be changed.

“The current
climate is not helping issues and Africa being what it is, especially
Nigeria, we have not got a way to recycle our water,” Mrs. Olisa said.

“Water recycling is
very important not only in developing countries, but also the developed
countries. Because people here in Africa, especially in Nigeria, don’t
pay through their nose to get water, we just use our water anyhow.

“Even if we have more funding, without the right attitude, it will not really work.

Even the little one
we have is still wasted. You can imagine people defecating into the
river. It is bad, we just have to develop the right attitude,” she said.

Christian
Nellemann, a lead author of the report, said that “Some estimates
suggest that around two million tons of waste are spilled into sewage
systems every day: this may be producing well over two billion tons of
polluted water every single day, 365 days a year, right into our
freshwaters and oceans. Dirty water is also a key factor that the
report says is in the rise of de-oxygenated dead zones that have been
emerging in seas and oceans across the globe.

“It is a challenge
that will continue to intensify as the world undergoes rapid
urbanisation, industrialisation and increasing demand for meat and
other foods, unless decisive action is taken.

“Urban populations
are projected to nearly double in 40 years, from current 3.4 billion to
over six billion people – but already most cities lack adequate
wastewater management due to aging, absent or inadequate sewage
infrastructure,” it stated.

Get smarter

Achim Steiner, UN
Under-Secretary General and Executive Director of the UN Environment
Programme (UNEP), said: “If the world is to thrive, let alone to
survive on a planet of six billion people heading to over nine billion
by 2050, we need to get collectively smarter and more intelligent about
how we manage waste, including wastewaters.”

“The facts and
figures are stark – pollution from wastewater is quite literally
killing people, indeed at least 1.8 million children die annually as a
result of contaminated water. The impacts on the wider environment and
in particular the marine environment are also sobering,” he added.

“But the report
also points to the abundant Green Economy opportunities for turning a
mounting challenge into an opportunity with multiple benefits. These
include the savings from reduced fertilizer costs for farmers, and
incentives for conserving ecological infrastructure such as wetlands
alongside new business and employment opportunities in engineering and
natural resource management,” Mr. Steiner explained.

Also, the Executive
Director of UN-Habitat, Anna Tibajuka said, “Many water and sanitation
utilities, especially in developing countries, are forced to spend more
financial resources in water treatment due to increased pollution.

“Excess nutrients
and wastewater can also lead to uncontrolled growth of algae and
aquatic plants such as water hyacinth, which cause practical problems
for marine transportation, fishing, intakes for water, hydro power, and
irrigation schemes,” she added.

Troops
of the Special Task Force (STF) on the Jos Crisis, have averted renewed
violence in Bukuru, Jos, Donald Oji, a brigadier general and the leader
of the task force said in a statement on Thursday.

According to him,
three persons, including the Divisional Police Officer of ‘B’ Division,
Bukuru, were injured, while four suspects were arrested during the
aborted violence.

He stated that the
incident, which started about 5.30pm, involved two persons who started
fighting after a game of football, and later developed to a situation
in which youth started blocking the major roads and attacking
passers-by.

Guerrilla attacks

Residents of some
of villages have also complained of guerrilla attacks on individuals in
their villages, with some children missing and dead bodies being found
in hidden places.

Confirming the
development, the state commissioner of information, Gregory Yenlong,
said, “In the last two weeks, not less than 20 people have been killed
in selective killings.”

The dead and missing were mostly street hawkers, commuter drivers, and those that work outdoors till , some residents confirmed.

According to Mr.
Oji, “While we continue to perform our lawful duties, we also appeal to
parents and elders to reciprocate our gesture of restraint by
admonishing their youths in this dangerous path of perpetrating
violence, which they have resorted to.”

The task force said
in the statement that it is exercising restraint not to bring the
necessary force to bear on the undisciplined.

While urging the
general public to go about their normal businesses without any fear, it
assured that the STF was well-positioned to protect them. It added that
the STF had also on Wednesday, assisted the Fan Community in Barkin Lad
Council Area to recover their cows that were rustled in the early hours
of that day. The STF said five cows were recovered, while efforts were
still on to recover the remaining 25. It said troops responded to a
distress call by community leaders and arrested two people in
connection with the incident.

The statement also emphasised that the STF was on the alert to restore normalcy in Jos and its environs.

A spokesperson for
the Hausa Community, Muhammad Sani Mudi, had told a foreign media
organisation that, “We now live in fear, as a result of killings in the
city, which makes it difficult for us to move about freely. We have
lost 23 members to such secret killings in the past two weeks, while 58
others are still missing.”

The police
spokesperson, Emmanuel Ojukwu, in an interview with NEXT earlier in the
week, had said that 41 people would be charged for murder, while others
arrested will face different charges based on what their interrogation
reveals.

The federal government has said it is determined to stop the killings and intractable violence in Jos and its environs. The government stance was made public by our acting president, Goodluck Jonathan, when he received the interim report of the Presidential Committee on the Jos Crisis.
Mr. Jonathan expressed deep concern over the reoccurring crisis in the area, saying, “We just cannot continue like this.”
According to him, there is a lot of aggression and lawlessness in the area but the federal government is determined to bring it all to an end.
Earlier, the chairman of the committee, Solomon Lar, told the acting president that a full report will soon be submitted, explaining that the committee still needed input from critical segments of the society to finalise the document.
The closed door meeting also had in attendance the Plateau State governor, Jonah Jang.
Speaking to journalists shortly after the meeting, Mr.Jang, said he was at the presidential villa to give a detailed briefing to Mr. Jonathan. “I came to brief the acting president on the latest situation and how far we have gone.” He said he believed the situation will get better, particularly with “the additional forces sent in for deployment in all the various localities to ensure that lives and property are protected.”
Mr. Jang went on to say that other steps are also being taken to ensure that peace returns to Plateau State. “We have started talking to various groups, particularly the Fulanis who have been living here for so many years,” he said.
In explaining the close and good relationship that previously existed between the Fulanis and other tribes in Plateau State, Mr. Jang drew on his own personal history.
“I was born in a neighbourhood of the Fulanis. The neighbour of my father was a Fulani man and I grew up with his children and even went to tend his cows. And if you look at my age now, around 66, then you would understand how long the Fulanis have lived around the Berom and other indigenes of Plateau State.
“We can never wish each other away. You don’t even know the difference between the Fulanis and the natives who are cattle rearers. We want peace on the plateau. We want to live as brothers and sisters. We are Nigerians and we must be able to live together.”
Mr. Jang, however, didn’t seem unaware of the difficulty and enormity of the task of ensuring continuing peace in Plateau State. According to him, “As you know, you can win a war but you cannot win peace, not easily…. People are still bitter with each other but it takes time to win peace.”
Mr. Lar, who also spoke to the press after the meeting, said, “We have come to see him and report to him the progress so far made about the crisis in Jos. As you know, some time in Jos, to be precise January this year, as a result of the fighting that broke out, the acting president appointed a presidential advisory committee to look into the matter and find practical solutions to the problem and later report to government and this is what we have come to do–to report so far the progress made.”
When asked about the details of the interim report they submitted to the acting president, Mr Lar said, “The progress so far made is submitted to him and we would not give it in bits but the president would let the nation know that later, after we have concluded.”
On why the committee decided to present an interim report when they were given two weeks to work, Mr. Lar said it became necessary because of the outbreak of fresh crisis in the state.
In the last 10 years, Plateau State has, at various times, experienced violent clashes between the Muslim and Christian population, which are also loosely divided along ethnic lines. The sectarian killings in the last decade have claimed thousands of lives.

Shortly before
midday yesterday, while the Senate was debating the draft amended
constitution, Joy Emordi, who then still represented Anambra North in
the Senate, received a call.

After the call, her
mood changed and she stood up, left her seat and went to the Senate
president’s podium. Mrs. Emordi spent close to seven minutes discussing
with David Mark, the Senate President. Her story held Mr. Mark’s full
attention while plenary was put on hold.

Thereafter, she picked up her hand bag from her seat and left the red chamber and went into the coffee room.

It turned out that
this was her last appearance in the chambers as a senator representing
Anambra North senatorial zone in the sixth session of the senate.

The Court of Appeal
in Enugu had yesterday in a judgment removed Mrs. Emordi and declared
Alphonsus Igbeke of the ANPP the winner of the seat.

Mrs Emordi has just
14-months to complete her tenure as senator which she assumed following
the general election of April 28, 2007.

The court led by
Justice Olakayode Ariwola in its judgement on Thursday held that she
was not the winner of the election into the Anambra North Senatorial
zone and directed the Independent National Electoral Commission to
withdraw the Certificate of Return issued to her.

The Joy of the senate

“The Joy of the Senate” as she was fondly called by Mr. Mark, was a hard-line senator.

She always took
clear-cut stance on issues and was instrumental to the dumping of two
of the six constitutional amendment bills that was sent to the senate
by the president.

She had strongly
argued that the bills were poorly crafted and that it was arrogating
too much power to the president. She was also a strong advocate for
gender equality in government activities.

She headed the
senate committee on education, a committee she has chaired since 2005
when she came into the senate by a ruling of the court too.

In June 2008, her election into the current session of the senate was up held by the tribunal.

In her reaction to
the recent judgement, Mrs Emordi said that she respects the judgement
of the Court of Appeal and still believes in the judiciary.

“We will definitely miss her”

Grace Bent, (PDP
Adamawa state) who is her female colleague in the senate said, “It is a
big shock to us in the Senate and especially to the female senators.
Joy is one of our very vibrant and articulate and active female
senators who are well respected.” Mrs Bent however expressed optimism
that Mrs. Emordi will soon be back to the senate.

“The good thing about it is that she just have only one year to go
to the election year and it will give her time to go and start
preparing for the next election.”

Between
1993 and 2003, at least 245 students have died due to the activities of
cultists in higher institutions in Nigeria, Ayoola Ogunkunle, a
professor of Agronomy and former Deputy Vice-Chancellor of the
University of Ibadan, claimed.

The academic said
this in Ibadan on Tuesday while delivering the maiden anti-cultism
lecture entitled, ‘War Against Campus Cultism: A Necessity for National
Development.’

The lecture, which
held at the university’s Trenchard Hall, was organised by its
Anti-Cultism Campaign Committee. Mr. Ogunkunle alleged that cultism has
killed more people, and at a faster speed, than HIV and AIDS in
campuses.The former Dean, Students’ Affairs of the university,
advocated an equal, if not better, measure of attention given to the
campaign against HIV and AIDS to campus cultism which, according to
him, is very complex and more difficult to diagnose than the pandemic.

He added that
cultism is waging an indirect war against national development as it
destroys the lives of the young members of the population who represent
the major labour force and the future leaders of the nation.

“A struggle for the soul”

Mr. Ogunkunle
described the war on the vice as “a struggle for the soul of the nation
which must be fought by all,” saying, “it must be continuous,
consistent, and unyielding in view of the stubborn and secretive nature
of cultism.”

According to him,
cultism has bred violation of fundamental human rights of others,
examination malpractices, disruption of the academic calendar,
immorality, armed robbery, and destruction of life and property in the
campuses and larger society.

A pioneer member of the Anti-Cultism Campaign Committee, established
11 years ago in the university, the guest lecturer said one major way
to rid the campuses of cultism is for the Federal Government to take
proactive steps by, for instance, creating a section in the Ministry of
Education dedicated to managing, funding, and monitoring the success of
anti-cultism activities in tertiary institutions in the country.

Four men were on
Thursday were arraigned before a Chief Magistrate Court sitting in
Ikeja, for allegedly stealing goods and cash worth over N29 million,
all property of Regatta Industrial Limited.

Joseph Ukpong, a
32-year-old man, alongside Joshua Ajani, 37; Mathias Ita, 33, and
35-year-old Sunday Samson were charged for a three-count offence
bordering on conspiracy and stealing.

The defendants were
alleged to have committed the offence along with other persons who were
said to be at large, on March 7, 2010, somewhere along Acme Road in
Ogba, at about 10.00pm.

They were alleged
to have broken into the warehouse of Regatta Industrial Limited, and
made away with the cash and goods worth N29, 660, 000.

It was noted that
the offences are contrary to and punishable under sections 516A (1),
413(1) and 390(9) of the criminal code, Cap C 17, Vol. II, laws of
Lagos state of Nigeria, 2003.

One of the charges,
as prepared by the police prosecution counsel, Haruna Ebhodagbe, reads
thus: “That you, Joseph Ukpong ‘m’, Joshua Ajani ‘m’, Mathias Ita ‘m’,
Sunday Samson ‘m’ and others at large, on the same date, time and place
in the aforementioned magisterial district, did steal Sony camera
valued at N85, 000, one computer system with CPU valued N50, 000,
virgin material 860 bags valued N6, 375, 000, peyele material valued
N3, 750, 000, finished goods valued N1, 200, 000, 220 pieces of car
tyre valued at N1, 700, 000 and cash of N1, 200, 000, total valued at
N29, 660, 000, property of Regatta Industrial Limited and, thereby,
committed an offence contrary to and punishable under section 390(9) of
the criminal code, Cap C 17, Vol. II, laws of Lagos state of Nigeria,
2003.”

When the charges were read to the defendants, they pleaded not guilty to all the charges.

Counsel to the
defendants, Osita Eghonu, urged the court to grant the defendants bail
on liberal conditions. He noted that the offences for which they are
charge are bail-able ones. He also stated that the recovered goods are
in the custody of the police, and the innocence of the defendants can
only be proofed during trial.

Mr. Ebhodagbe, the
police prosecution counsel, did not oppose the bail of the defendants.
He, however, urged the court to grant them bail on stringent
conditions. He noted that the police had to go as far as Abia State
before they could arrest the defendants and recover the stolen goods.

Consequently, the
presiding magistrate, Temitope Olatokun, granted the defendants bail in
the sum of N1 million with two sureties in like sum.

“The defendants are
admitted to bail in the sum of N1 million with two sureties in like
sum. The sureties must depose to an affidavit of means showing that
they are worth the amount of bail. They are also to show three-year tax
clearance.”

The matter was adjourned to April 28, 2010 for mention.

As the sale of the Nigerian Telecommunication Plc
(NITEL) to private investors is mired in controversy, scores of the
company’s staff in Ibadan, the Oyo State capital, on Tuesday, staged a
peaceful protest against an alleged clandestine confirmation of
appointment and promotion of some top management staff.

The workers called on the federal government to intervene promptly and stop the purported promotions.

According to the protesters, the promotion will
further complicate the problem of the company when it is finally handed
over to the new owner.

While pleading with the federal government to effect
the payment of a backlog of salaries and allowances, the workers
accused it of contravening a court order which compelled it to
regularise the employment of staff who have remained casual employees
for the past 15 years and pay all their entitlements.

Ganiyu Shittu, the state chairman of the workers,
said since the order was given on 6 November, 2008 the government is
yet to implement it.

The workers said 25 March will mark the 21st month since the government last paid their monthly salaries.

Selective promotion

The staff alleged that senior officers confirmed
their own appointment and embarked on “promotion of some selected staff
to disorganise them”.

Insisting that the exercise was ill-timed, the
workers called for the intervention of the Federal Government, National
Assembly and Bureau of Public Enterprises and other Nigerians in the
matter.

“We wish to draw the attention of the Federal
Government, National Assembly, BPE and other Nigerians to the recent
unpleasant decisions of the top management wherein all the top
management staff had their appointments quietly and hurriedly confirmed
immediately after the last bidding process was concluded by the BPE.

“It is worrisome that at a time when NITEL staff are
appealing daily for the payment of the 20 months salary arrears owed
them by the government and BPE, the top management believes this is the
right time for them to confirm all their acting appointments and pacify
a selected few with promotions on the eve of handling over the company
to a new core investor,” the workers stated.

They also accused the government of not being fair to them by
delaying the payment of their salaries till it gets the proceeds from
the sale of NITEL, saying such was not the case with workers of other
privatised government companies like Ajaokuta Steel Company and the
Nigeria Airways.

It is great being an expatriate. You are away from the societal
pressures of your home country, and the ‘ties that bind’. You are free to
reinvent yourself as you wish. All the people who knew you growing up and who
had pegged and pigeonholed you as a certain type of person are no longer there
to force you to conform to the way you previously defined yourself. You are
liberated from those shackles.

At the Moorhouse Hotel on Sunday, I witnessed two French
expatriates here working technical jobs, pursuing their true vocations as ‘cool’
musicians playing the guitar, the saxophone and the flute. They were part of a
trio of jazz musicians who treated the brunch crowd to Bossa Nova standards,
Desafinado, and French Jazz classic, la vie en rose. The third person was
Nigerian, a gifted guitarist. It was a wonderful and energising time out.

It is great to be an expatriate regardless of your gender. For
the men, be you 28 or 68, you are forever young. Starting new jobs, engaging in
new responsibilities, taking on new pursuits, and entering new relationships
with mature and adventurous fellow world travellers or with young, beautiful,
ambitious and exotic local girls. Ah, la vie est belle! Just this weekend, I
heard from one of the arm-candy girls that the expatriate men are experts at
managing the balancing act of those relationships with young girls.

Venezuelan men are hard to tempt. Their girls back home are as
feline and assertive as ours, and have beautiful faces and bodies too. Germans,
Americans, and Englishmen are true connoisseurs of the West African beauty.
Women are women are women – they are looking for the same qualities that they
seek in a woman back home, plus that ‘je ne sais quoi’ exotic quality that
stands them out in a crowd, and makes them feel the way ‘true men’ are supposed
to feel. It has to be love, though.

Frenchmen, on the other hand, are reputedly tricky!!!! The word
on the street amongst the girls is that the men initiate those relationships
purely to have fun! ‘Quelle horreur!!’ There are exceptions, of course. I hate
stereotypes as a rule, but I have to be true to the reports I have received.
The French dangle a journey to Paris on one hand and the possibility of
marriage on the other, stringing the lady along for years sometimes, before
neither materialise. The francophone girls are NOT amused!!! They believe that
a Frenchman is more likely to marry an elegant and exposed black girl bred in
France than one from our shores.

Gentlemen, is this true?

As for the expatriate ladies, it is both a wonderful and
terrifying experience, but it is never dull!!! How many of us working women or
even housewives would love to leave it all behind and take off to a country
where your husband’s skills (usually), sometimes your own, are needed. You are
an expert, you are valued, you are treasured and looked after and pampered.
Your health and your recreation are the focus of meetings by managing directors
and HR directors of multinational companies.

Nothing less than a three-bedroom apartment in a complex with a
playground and swimming pool is good enough for you. You are assigned a driver
to take you shopping and convey you anywhere you wish to go. You are assigned a
cook/steward to ensure that you do not strain yourself seeking to feed yourself
and your family, and so that you can immediately become an expert hostess for
the inescapable social round of parties, teas, cocktails and dinners to further
your partner’s career. If you have children, you MUST have a nanny so that you
can focus on your health and beauty and QUALITY time with the children. You can
let someone else do the routine stuff. What a hardship! What is lovely is that
you get the time you need to further your interests, whether in philanthropy,
fashion, education, art or sport. Many expatriates who spent time in Nigeria learnt
to sail in Lagos Lagoon, according to John and Jill Godwin, the notable
architect couple who can proudly call themselves Nigerian-British after
residing here for over 50 years. Many have also picked up golf and discovered
unimagined and rewarding new skills and talents here.

This is where the terrifying part of being an expatriate partner
comes in. You really do need to stay healthy, beautiful and active.

You had better play golf and tennis and keep your bikini body
looking good, or work towards those two-pack abdominal muscles (six-pack may be
asking for too much) because you and your partner are ordinary to each other,
in an unusual environment. Yet you are each viewed as unusual and desirable in
the eyes of others. Which regard would YOU prefer? To retain your partner’s
affection, you have to compete with all the colleagues, subordinates, service
providers, and young men and women seeking the favour and the liquid currency
of your partner.

We all assume that expatriates have more money than regular
mortals. After all, they get all kinds of extra allowances and incentives for
working away from home. They generally have most of their local bills taken
care of or are living in a place where the cost of living is much lower than
their country.

If they are renting out their own home rather than maintaining
two, as some choose to do, their income can far exceed their expenditure.
Besides which they live in good homes, drive new cars, and love doing fun and
adventurous things. There are a whole raft of people on standby and eager to
help you spend your ready cash, or keen to divert it from its rightful
recipients to themselves. So, watch out! And fellow expatriates, the
experienced ones, are experts in giving you a helpful push into that sinkhole
of expat exploitation, degradation and ruin. Hey, they need your company there
to feel good about the antics that they are up to themselves. I won’t go into
the widespread salacious and sometimes tragic stories of what happens in
expatriate compounds all over the world. The US TV series, Desperate
Housewives, and the new UK series, Mistresses, have nothing on it.

To be fair, expatriates still have a lot to learn about
convoluted love triangles, thwarted passion, agonising betrayals and extreme
measures to capture and keep a desirable partner. Our domestic movie industry,
Nollywood, can educate them in that regard and show them endings in tears,
recriminations, and broken homes.

We hear you, we empathise with you, we feel you as you face your
unique travails during your residency here. There is something called expat
culture that explains the inevitability of many of the situations you find
yourselves in. They are a function of being brought into a different
environment as an expert expat or as the companion of one. We, the locals,
don’t co-operate as we ought to either. Don’t take it personally. It is not
about you; it is about your status as a transient guest, here to sample a
facsimile of our lives and then move on, abruptly cutting the fragile ties and
dependencies that have formed.

There are more advantages than disadvantages to being an expatriate, and
Nigerian expats enjoy them and suffer them too when they are posted or hired on
contract abroad. The trick is, not all foreigners here are expatriates. If you
are one of us, enjoy the benefits but avoid the traps of the expatriate
lifestyle; and if you are an expatriate, especially you French guys….be
nice!!!!