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My name is Cesc Fabregas and I play football. Last night I had a dream.

In my dream I saw red. It was everywhere I turned.

The match was between my team and another whose crest looked like a hungry bird.

They had this tall
chap – Steven Gerrard , I think he was called who seemed to be
everywhere at the same time. The way those guys were playing – I
thought it must surely be true that they never walk alone.

I dreamt that I
chased after the ball for a long time, but anytime I got to the goal
post of the opposition there seemed to be a set of giants there and all
I could see were numbers – 5, 17, 37, 22. I just could not see my way
through these figures blocking my view of the net. Or was it possible
that our opponents had buried something in the net that prevented me
from seeing clearly anytime I got to their goal post? I may need to
have a detailed discussion with my Ivorian team mate Emmanuel Eboue
about this… African players seem to have a better understanding of
this strategy.

As I was chasing
the ball, I heard a loud voice thunder in my ears, “you really should
tell your manager to buy more star players – even if he has to beg,
borrow or steal….. this way you won’t have to run yourself ragged and
can fully mind your own business in mid field and attack. And more
importantly, you won’t have to worry about the scores of the matches of
the Red Devils or the blues!”

Respite and other games

Just as I was
about to tell the voice to back off… it screamed, “the Red Devils and
The Blues have scored in their different games and at this rate you
will not have any silverware to show off this season again.” This last
comment was too much for me to bear and I dashed like a man pursued by
a hound of dogs towards the goal post of my opponent but my team mates
seem to have disappeared. I felt very lonely, I must confess. Enough is
enough, I thought, I must walk off this pitch and move to one where the
pitch seems greener and the team’s cupboard is full of silverware. I
would like to see a bit more of colour – navy blue and wine perhaps?
Whilst I stood contemplating my next move, I saw the ball whistle past
my head like a bullet. I glanced round in amazement and saw it was my
amiable mate Abou Diaby who had kicked the ball hard and scored too.
That was enough to get my feet moving again… I raised my hands high
to applaud the goal, way high above my head, I just felt the ball brush
my hands, honestly, I did not see or know the ball had been kicked by
the never walk alone team.

Suddenly, I had a loud roar, which startled me awake. It was the
crowd acknowledging the end of the game and our retention of 3rd
position on the league table! The Red devils Drew and the blues failed
to win. This was no dream after all! Go Gunners!

I will be championing the cause of the underdogs. Why? Well
simply because I can.

There were so many Chelsea, Manchester United and Arsenal jersey
wearers over this weekend but not a single Burnley, Bolton Wanderers or
Portsmouth (the last 3 teams on the English premiership league table) jersey
wearer in sight, at least for me!

So please forgive me if I don’t analyse the loss of Manchester
United to Everton (leaving the premiership title race wide open to many
possibilities) or Chelsea’s win against Wolverhampton wolves… I mean, these
guys get all the attention all the time… its time someone gave the bottom 3
some time of day.

Ask any football loving Nigerian fan to name one player in the
Burnley team and they would be hard pressed to but he/she can rattle off the
names of the 11 players and reserve team for Chelsea, Man U or any of the other
top four to six teams in the league. The only reason why some people may have
some interest in Portsmouth and perhaps Bolton is the fact that we had (and in
Portsmouth’s case still have) some Nigerian players in those teams.

In the 2009/10 season, Bolton has conceded 46 goals, Portsmouth
44 goals (and lost 18 games) whilst Burnley has conceded 50 goals. Being last
in any competitive situation is not pleasant as we all know… Well for those
of us who will be very honest and admit to having that status at some point in
our academic life – ‘Arupo’ as was the slang then for the last few. What makes
you an ‘Arupo’?

You were playing/sleeping when others were reading, you just did
not understand the teacher, you are dumb or all of the above! For a football
team, the equivalent of sleeping when others are reading is having players who
are not disciplined and who are just interested in collecting their money.

I doubt very much that this is the case for most of the players
in the last three teams as one hardly gets to hear of the shenanigans of the
players in these teams unlike those in the top four teams on the league table.

Understandably, the top guys face more media scrutiny but still
the players in the bottom three teams must have lives outside the pitch as
well. If anything, I believe these are the guys that work their hearts/legs out
to earn their ‘measly’ pay when compared with that paid to those in the top four.
Match in match out, they come on to the pitch knowing nobody really gives them
much of a chance – the football analysts, their fans and perhaps even their coaches/managers. It must be
pure torture! Poor Portsmouth is facing a double whammy – £60Million plus in
debt and on the brink of bankruptcy and relegation from the premiership league.
There is the livelihood of the players and staff to be considered. Kudos’ to
them for even showing up for matches, though how anyone is supposed to play and
win in their tough situation beats me.

Losing 2-1 over the
weekend to a 10-man Stoke City team is not completely unexpected. It really is
a chicken and egg situation for these teams- how will they ever hope to stay in
the top flight if they don’t have money to acquire experienced and quality
players who can take them to the top 10 of the league and in turn ensure that
they participate in some of the games where the club can earn some more money.
Will Wayne Rooney ever wish to play for Portsmouth? Or Lionel Messi transfer to
Burnley? Only if these teams can pay for their services and rightly so.

The statistics of these teams speak for them. Bolton has never
won the premiership but has won the Coca-cola Football league Championship
three times; Burnley in its 128 years of existence has actually won the
premiership title twice in 1921 and 1960 and Portsmouth has also won the
premiership title twice -1949 and 1950.

Perhaps it is time there is a re-think of what qualifies a team
to remain in the premiership because it is obvious that without any money,
these teams are being set up to fail.

Cash apparently is king in football.

It is a changing
world and sports, in particular football, cannot be left out of the
evolution game. There are a few things I feel should change in
football, prominent amongst which is the offside rule but since I don’t
have any idea for an alternative, I will hold my peace on that
particular issue for now. There is however another football rule which
I believe should be reconsidered by the football authorities and that
is the penalty shoot-out.

Shoot-outs were not
endorsed by UEFA or FIFA until the 1970’s and apparently, the FIFA
committee that reviewed and accepted it then “was not entirely
satisfied” with the process.

How many times have
we in knock out games sat at the edge of our seats, praying desperately
for a goal because we knew that if there was no goal from either team,
the ultimate end would be a penalty shoot-out? Why the desperation? I
want to make a guess and state that it’s because we realised this was a
very unfair way to determine the winner. A penalty shoot-out is more a
matter of chance rather than a reflection of the hard work or skills of
the players. Rotarians cannot be too happy with the penalty shoot-out
as in my opinion, it fails one of their cardinal 4-way test questions –
is it fair to all concerned? The English national team would, I
believe, also welcome the idea of change as they are one of the
national teams known not to have enjoyed much luck during penalty
shoot-outs.

Not down to skill

Defending against
or playing a penalty in a shoot-out is quite frankly difficult – no
matter how well prepared the goalkeeper and the players are. No keeper
(again presumably), wants to be in a situation where he is left facing
the opponent alone so to speak. It goes against every rule of warfare
that when it is possible for you to face the opponent together – you
send out alone the one person who may not necessarily be the ablest
member of the team – in fact sometimes, he may be the weakest link!
Football after all is a team game.

My grouse against
the penalty shoot-out is its unfairness when used as a decider for a
match. Where both teams have played their hearts out trying to score
through the normal 90 minutes and they are then requested to play extra
time, and then penalties – the likelihood in my opinion is that you
would not get a ‘real’ winner. The physical condition of the players at
this stage invariably means they are not in peak condition. To ask even
the best striker in the world to shoot and score a goal (even if
one-on-one with the keeper), is asking a bit too much.

The adrenaline
is pumping and as the international bestselling author Malcom Gladwell
stated in his book Blink, “most of us, under pressure, get too aroused
and past a certain point, our bodies begin shutting down so many
sources of information that we start to become useless”. Actions taken
under such conditions are typically not the best. Considering the fact
that only players on the pitch at the end of play time are allowed to
take part in the penalty shoot-out, it means that if all substitutions
were made by the end of full time or during extra time there are no
fresh legs on the pitch. The referee and the other match officials
though not ‘active’ participants on the pitch during the penalty
shoot-out are also at this point tired.

Letting fair play decide

So, these are my
suggestions – laughable but plausible? Why can’t the winner of a match
be determined by the team with the least yellow cards i.e. fair play?
Or the team with the best statistics in terms of ball possession,
attempts at goal et al? Are these more subjective than the penalty
shot-out? No, considering that everyone can see and count how many
yellow cards each team has received during the match and in the case of
the stats, these are hard facts. Will either of these in any way hamper
the competitiveness of the game? Again the answer would be no. I rest
my case and await a call from FIFA.

I have been quizzed
repeatedly as to why football is my subject choice for this column. I
have never really asked myself this question on a ‘scientific basis’ –
all I know is that I enjoy everything associated with football whether
it is watching the game or writing about it. I have therefore taken
some time out to reflect on this issue and the result of my ‘time out’
is outlined below.

Simple dynamics

The frenzy and
passion associated with football as a sport is not in doubt. Very few
polo, hockey or golf lovers kill their wives or themselves or go on
hunger strike because their teams or players lost a match but it has
happened repeatedly in football. And before the cynical minded ones
start off thinking football lovers are probably more emotional than
most, let me add that we are not – it is the dynamics of the game. It
is like opium; it is highly addictive and engenders a deep passion that
equals perhaps that of religion. Football is loved and followed all
over the world and it cuts across all ages, class and races. Even
cricket loving nations like Australia place some premium on their
football teams judging from the nation’s reaction to their team’s
qualification for the 2010 World Cup.

The joy of football
is that it is egalitarian and easily accessible whether you are playing
or watching it. Anyone anywhere can pick up a ball and play. The
accessibility of the game is (permit me to say) unrivalled by any other
sport – for swimming, you need a pool of water, for golf you need the
ever expensive kit and clubs (never mind miniature golf!), for Polo –
don’t even go there.

There are some
sports that are deliberately not accessible to just anyone. Not
football though. The unparalleled demonstration of raw skill is another
drawing point – you can teach a man to hit the ball on the golf course,
swing the bat in cricket but in football you need to have the raw
talent first which can then be refined through training. Whether you
are in midfield, attack or defence everybody has a role to play. If you
have a good attack and your defence is leaking like a basket full of
water, then God help you.

A perfect football
team is one with an impregnable defence, tight midfield and excellent
attack. Let me quickly add that such a team does not exist on the face
of planet earth but some teams do tend to come close. My beloved
Arsenal on a good day will deliver sublime and exciting football for
the enjoyment of all.

Warfare and unpredictability

The game is almost
like warfare with a need to be tactical. Players are deployed in the
format (whether it is 4-4-2 or 5-3-2) that is best suited to their
talents and to match the expected formation of their opponents. You can
have all the skills of Pele or Diego Maradona but it can only take you
thus far.

Real Madrid
currently has 2 of the best players in the world – Kaka (2007 winner of
FIFA world footballer of the year) and Cristiano Ronaldo (winner in
2008) yet they are shockingly out of the 2010 UEFA Champions League
which leads to another point regarding the beauty of the game – it’s
not exactly logical – 2 plus 2 does not necessarily always equal four!
If you hate mathematics believe me football is the game for you.

One may at the
beginning of the football season guess that Manchester United will win
the Barclays Premiership league (since they have won it ‘gazillion’
times already!), but wonders have been known to happen in football and
it could jolly well end up being Arsenal holding the cup aloft at the
end of the season.

Unlike in other
games where a ‘comeback’ of individual players is possible a la Michael
Schumacher to Formula 1 at age 41years or George Foreman’s return to
professional boxing at age 38, in football whilst possible it may not
be feasible and if done it is usually in another guise probably as
coach or trainer. The physical demand of the game is such that most
individuals think twice about making this decision.

Merchandising is
huge in football so, identifying with your team even if you are not in
the same physical location is not a problem. How many sports have
branded mugs, wristwatches, bed sheets, bean bags…!

So, there you go. Football for all!

Many football
buffs, and commentators who are not crazy about the beautiful game have
used all manners of adjectives to condemn the Confederation of African
Football’s decision to ban Togo team from participating in the next two
editions of African Nations Cup. How insensitive and ‘anti-people’ can
a body that administers what they call ‘the people game’ be.

The Togolese team,
which was in Angola for the African Nations Cup, had been attacked in
the northern province of Cabinda on January 8, a few days before the
championship began. Their bus was attacked by rebels linked to the
Front for the Liberation of the Enclave of Cabinda. Two officials of
the team lost their life, the players were traumatised, while some were
injured, having been held at gun point for hours.

To honour the dead,
the government told the players and officials to fly home and bury
them. After the burial, the players asked CAF to reschedule their
matches so that they could participate in the Championship, but CAF
turned down their request.

After the Nations
Cup, CAF banned Togo from the next two editions of the championship
because ‘the Togolese government decided to call back their national
team’.

“The decision taken
by the political authorities is infringing CAF and CAN [Cup of Nations]
regulations. Therefore, a decision has been taken to suspend the Togo
national team for the next two editions of Africa Cup of Nations, with
a fine of $50,000.00 handed to the Togolese national football
association, in conformity with article 78 of Africa Cup of Nations
Angola 2010,” CAF had said, announcing the ban.”

Global condemnation greeted CAF’s decision.

Drogba over Eto’o

With the ban on
Togo still fresh in our memory, CAF got another red card from football
fans, this time over the African Footballer of the Year Award.

Unlike other
confederation, CAF remains the only confederation that still selects
its best players from players playing outside its continent.

And the award has
never been devoid of controversy. Between 2004 and 2006, Austin Okocha
who was then at the top of his game in England, winning accolades of
the global media and all manner of awards, was ignored by the CAF award
panel. The panel had preferred Benni McCarthy at one stage and Samuel
Eto’o at the other.

About three years
ago when the award took place in Lome, Togo, Didier Drogba was widely
tipped to win the award but the prize went to Mali’s Frederic Kanoute.

CAF and many
Africans were embarrassed when Drogba told the media after the ceremony
that officials of CAF had informed him that he won the award, but if he
is not present at the ceremony in Lome, the award will not be given to
him. Drogba missed the awards ceremony because he had a crucial
quarter-final match to play 48 hours later in the Africa Cup of
Nations, which was ongoing at the time of the ceremony.

CAF’s only defense
to Drogba’s allegation was, “Any player who is absent at the award
ceremony will not be taken into consideration in placements of African
footballer of the year.”

Accra 2010

As if CAF could not
fall lower, the choice of Drogba over Eto’o as the African Footballer
of the Year in Accra, Ghana last week took the organisation to a new –
lower – level.

No doubt, Drogba is
a world class player that deserves to win the award, if not the World
Football of the Year, but not for 2008/09 season.

It was a season the
Chelsea striker will love to forget in a hurry. Save for his goal in
the final of the English FA Cup against Everton, Drogba began the
season with injury. No sooner had he recover from injury that he had a
fight with then Chelsea coach Felipe Scolari. It was toward the end of
the season when Guus Hiddink came that Drogba played a part in
Chelsea’s season.

Eto’o on the other
hand was a pivotal member of the Barcelona team that won the Spanish
League, Spanish Cup and UEFA Champions League, in which he scored one
of Barca two goals against Manchester United; he thus became the second
player to achieve the feat of scoring in two Champions league finals.

In the national team, both players led their team to qualify for the South Africa 2010 FIFA World Cup.

The Champions League

Eto’s gave a good
reason why he is the uncrowned African footballer of the year, in the
clash between Chelsea and Inter at the Stamford Bridge on Wednesday
night with a five star performance for Inter by scoring the lone goal
that separated the men from the boys, while Drogba, who was expected to
do same for Chelsea left the stadium in disgrace after getting a red
card for the third successive season in Champions League; it dates back
to the 2008 Final, between Manchester United and Chelsea (United won
6-5 on pens after the game ended 1-1): Drogba was red-carded in the
extra time for slapping Nemanja Vidic. He was also red-carded in the
2009 Semi-final, Chelsea 1 Barcelona 1 (Barcelona won on away goals
rule).

CAF award or no CAF award, Eto’o has spoken with his legs, we all know who is the best in Africa, shame on CAF.

Globacom league
side, Niger Tornadoes FC has been fined and suspended by the Premier
League for violent conduct by its supporters after their home game
against Bayelsa United football club in Minna over the weekend.

Centre Referee Gabriel Adigwe and his assistants were allegedly attacked by fans suspected to be those of Niger Tornadoes FC.

In a statement from
the league board’s media department, Tornadoes were fined N1 million
only payable before their next home match against Gateway FC.

The club will play
its subsequent home games behind closed doors until the Disciplinary
Committee of the NFF meets, while Ahmed Ibrahim Katun, Niger Tornadoes
Supporters Club Chairman and one Abdulrasheed Yusuf, also of the
Tornadoes Supporters Club were placed on indefinite suspension for
bringing the game into disrepute. The management of Niger Tornadoes was
further directed to identify other perpetrators.

The club was also
fined another N400, 000.00 for allowing its fans to attack the Centre
Referee and Assistant referee; N200, 000.00 each for the assaulted
Referees.

Al-Hassan Saleh Yakmut the secretary of the board expressed dismay over the incident.

“I’m totally
displeased with the incident in Minna and this is becoming a recurrent
decimal and shall necessitate stiffer disciplinary measures including
banishment which shall further be placed on any club found wanting,” he
said.

Referee’s experience

Gabriel Adigwe, the referee, who was attacked, told KickOffNigeria.com that he fears he has been ‘psychologically damaged’.

“Immediately after
the final whistle, fans rushed into the field and attacked us. There
were police officers around but they were not effective. I was
viciously punched a number of times on the back of my neck, close to my
ears.

“I almost
collapsed, but I was afraid that if I fell down, they will trample me.
My hands are swollen from trying to cover my face from the blows.

“The AR2 was also punched twice in his back and stomach,” Adigwe said.

“After the police
fired tear gas, they (the fans) fled and started throwing stones at us.
It met one person on the head. He was seriously bleeding; the blood
gushed out of his head and poured on my shirt.” “We waited for about 40
minutes in the dressing room before we left the stadium.

“The fans said they have to beat me up to teach me a lesson because
I don’t help them in their home games. They say that every time I come
to their home games, they always play draw. I am seriously damaged
psychologically and I don’t know if I can do any match after this
without the fear of being beaten again.”

Super Eagles
midfielder Mikel Obi has admitted Chelsea are battling to regain their
winning mentality after stumbling against Blackburn Rovers on Sunday in
the race for the Premier League title.

The Blues, who were
knocked out of the Champions League by Inter Milan last week, were
hoping to step up their chase for the English league crown but El-Hadji
Diouf’s second half goal cancelled Didier Drogba’s early strike,
allowing Blackburn to share the spoils.

The result left
Chelsea four points adrift of leaders Manchester United and Mikel, who
was in action against Blackburn, bemoaned his team’s lack of desire to
put things right in the second half.

“We are very disappointed,’ Mikel told Chelsea website after the game.

We played well in
the first half and we knew that Blackburn are going to come out and
fight, which is exactly what we did in the first half.”

Losing control

Mikel said his side lost focus during the second half, leading to Blackburn’s equaliser.

“We know it is
always difficult to come to Blackburn but we fought for the second
balls and gained control of the game, but in the second half we did not
do enough defensively and that cost us. We didn’t keep the ball and we
didn’t fight as hard as we did in the first half and this is why we
drew the game. The pitch was not good but that is not an excuse,” he
said.

Chelsea had several
chances to blow Blackburn away in a commanding first half performance
after Drogba’s 6th minute goal but they failed to put the game to rest.
“If we had scored a second goal in the first half then I think it would
have killed the game but we didn’t and in the second half we lost
control of the game,” Mikel said. The former Lyn Oslo player however
believes his side can get back to winning ways when they travel to face
Portsmouth at Fratton Park.

Getting it right

To return to winning ways, Mikel believes the team will need the support of the fans and coaching staff.

“We are all
professionals and when things are not going well we mustn’t be down.
This is when we need everyone to show support and to be together; team,
fans and coaching staff, and hopefully we can put things right by the
end of the season,” he said.

“It has been
really, really difficult but the manager has been there for us and we
all are sticking together. We have a game against Portsmouth and we
have to go there and win.”

Mikel denied
reports that Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich had, at a meeting with the
team last week, voiced his frustration and threatened to sack some
players after their Champions League ouster.

“We know we have to
win something but the meeting wasn’t about that. Everybody came to show
their support; the owner came to show his support. That is what we need
at the moment and that is exactly what he did,” Mikel said.

“He came to cheer us up and tell us to keep going and although we
didn’t win the last two games we have a game on Wednesday and we have
to put things right.”