Matters of the flesh
The news that a forty-nine year old
Senator married a thirteen-year-old child has once again thrust Nigeria
into the limelight of the international media.
Recently, I saw the
Senator on Al Jazeera, proudly defending his actions. Senator Sani
Yerima’s argument was based solely on the fact that Prophet Muhammad of
his Islamic faith married a girl of nine as stated in the Koran;
therefore, “any Muslim who marries a girl of nine years and above is
following the teaching and practice of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)”. The
Senator’s main argument for his case is that “his religion” allows it.
Marriage in our
society is not regulated by “religion” but mostly by our customs and
traditions, that is why traditional marriages are still a big part of
our culture.
Regardless of
religion, many couples still have to do a traditional marriage for
their union to be properly recognised. In all societies, the rules for
what traditions are to be observed change with time, as society evolves.
Gone are the days
when “cows” and “crops” could be exchanged as dowry. These days, our
fathers work in offices; they have no need for animals. They do not
even have land for the cows to graze upon. Our society has changed. We
shall make do with cash. While many customs can still be observed,
these days, nobody stands outside a hut waiting for the groom to appear
with a red stained cloth. We shall make do with wishing them a safe
journey on their honeymoon. Yes, as time changes, customs and
traditions change.
It is therefore no
surprise that the marriages performed between the years 570 and 632,
were governed by the traditions and customs of that society, and
limited to that society. In those days, they had no idea why their
women died at alarming rates during childbirth. They did not know what
a hemorrhage was, or sepsis, or pregnancy-induced hypertension. They
had no idea of preeclampsia and eclampsia, or obstructed labour caused
by cephalopelvic disproportion, or iron-deficiency anemia.
They had no idea
why many young women, after giving birth, would begin to leak urine or
faeces through the vagina. This of course, we know today as obstetric
fistula, (a tear between the vagina and the urinary tract or rectum)
which occurs when the pelvic growth of a woman is not complete.
It is common
knowledge, that when people know better, they do better. We all
function according to our abilities and knowledge at a particular time.
Hence, one cannot blame these mothers and fathers who were merely
following the traditions of their fathers and fore fathers before them.
As their young
daughters died, they prayed that their God would one day give their
descendents the knowledge and wisdom to prevent such deaths. Their God
answered their prayers. Finally, these deaths could be prevented, it
was a simple solution. Our ancestors, who had lost their beautiful
daughters, wondered at their own ignorance! Was that all we had to do?
To wait until our daughters became women? Oh! How ignorant we were! The
reason why young girls should not be married at such young ages has
nothing to do with religion, or what is right or wrong before the eyes
of God. It has nothing to do with customs or traditions; it is quite
simply, a health issue.
It is illogical
for any human being, to endanger the life of another, simply because
once upon a time, in another era, it was allowed to marry a girl of
nine. People then, did not know better.
I remember when I
was thirteen, my number one and main interest was climbing trees and
plucking “ebelebor” (Indian almonds). The main agenda for my day was
PLAY, PLAY,
PLAY! There are
many things you lose in life and get back, but a childhood is something
nobody can ever get back. To lose your childhood, is to lose an
essential part of your being. This is the only time in life when we can
be truly ourselves, without the pressures and expectations of society.
To rob a child of all that, is unforgivable.
If Senator Yerima
really believes that Muslims should follow the customs and traditions
that were “legal” in the years between 570 and 632, then the dear
Senator should have been on the floor, bare footed during that
interview. He should not have been sitting in an air-conditioned room,
surrounded by flags. In fact, from today, the Senator should not be
caught in an airplane. He should walk or get on a camel as they did in
those days. He should not go to the hospital when ill (and definitely
not one abroad).
The year is 2010;
we cannot continue to allow people like Yerima have any kind of say in
our society. Such people are not there to move us forward; they are
there to drag us backward.
Religion has
nothing to do with why grown men crave the flesh of young children.
Surely, these are matters of the flesh and not of the spirit? Nobody
buys his religious explanations. That ship has long sailed. We are all
too intelligent to be taken for that repetitive ride. If he has no
other explanation, other than that of following the traditions of
bygone societies, then I will have no choice but to conclude that he is
a paedophile.
