Archive for nigeriang

‘No plan to jettison e-payment policy’

‘No plan to jettison e-payment policy’

There are no plans
or directives for the reversal of the electronic payment system in
official transactions in the Federal Public Service, the Accountant
General of the Federation (AGF), Ibrahim Dankwambo, said in Abuja at
the weekend.

He was reacting to
reports that the government has reverted to the issuance of cheques for
certain categories of payments, particularly payment of pensions in the
federal civil service.

According to Mr.
Dankwambo, the benefits of the Integrated Payroll and Personnel
Information System (IPPIS), introduced in 2006 as part of reforms for a
computer-based payroll and personnel information system in the federal
civil service, have been so much that contemplating to reverse the
process would be ill-advised.

“I am not aware of
any such decision or directive for the stoppage of the policy. We have
seen the benefits of the IPPIS project designed to electronically
capture the data of workers in the federal civil service throughout the
country. Government has been saved billions of naira as a result, since
the introduction of the scheme, though it is still premature to say how
much .

“That is why
government will not hesitate to sanction any agency or organisation
that is brought to its notice tampering with the policy,” he said.

He said the
government has so far completed capturing the personal information data
of workers in at least 16 ministries, departments and agencies (MDAs),
while local and international consultants have been shortlisted and
prequalified, preparatory to the full systems to roll out nationwide
from January next year.

Reports that the
government had jettisoned the policy and returned to issuing cheques
became rife last week during the ongoing data verification exercise for
federal pensioners holding across the 36 state capitals and the Federal
Capital Territory (FCT), Abuja.

Paid with cheques

Pensioners who
participated in the exercise were issued cheques at the end of the
verification, as against the e-payment system introduced last year,
where their entitlements were credited directly to personal accounts in
their respective banks, followed by text messages sent to notify them.

One frail-looking
old man, who spoke with NEXT at the verification centre in Abuja, was
embittered that the government did not consider the fragile conditions
of some of them before taking the decision, pointing out that most of
them can hardly withstand the rigours of travelling long distances and
having to endure the harassment in long queues while waiting to present
the same set of documents always presented each time the exercise is
held.

But an official
involved in the exercise, who asked to remain anonymous, last Thursday,
explained the rationale behind the verification exercise, which has
been held at least six times in the last four years. “From time to
time, there is need to update the records of pensioners in the service.
It is natural to expect that some of the pensioners would die. But,
often, the relations of some of these pensioners would not report the
death to the relevant authorities, while government continues paying
their benefits. To help update government data and records for proper
planning, it is compulsory that all pensioners appear physically for
the verification, irrespective of who is involved,” he said.

Government’s
e-payment policy has been widely acknowledged as a positive step to
stem corruption, reduce administrative hostage-taking associated with
payment to individuals and contractors, as well as facilitate a more
transparent payment system that allows for effective monitoring.

The previous arrangement, where pensioners were paid with cheques
was fraught with abuses, as corrupt government officials exploited the
system to siphon public funds through ghost workers and pensioners.

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Kidnappers want N50m for ex-Inspector General’s nephew

Kidnappers want N50m for ex-Inspector General’s nephew

Gunmen, suspected
to be kidnappers, who, last Wednesday abducted Rufai AbdulMalik Atta,
nephew of the former Inspector General of Police, Ibrahim Atta, are
asking the family for a ransom of N50 million before they release the
hostage.

Mr Atta, who
retired as Deputy General Manager with the defunct Bank of the North,
had just returned from his Okene home when he was apprehended in front
of his friend’s residence at the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja.
Family sources said that the former banker had arrived at his friend’s
house for an appointment when, on arrival, he was confronted by gunmen
who swooped on him and bundled him and a guard who had come to open the
gate, into a waiting car and sped off.

The sources added
that Mr Atta pleaded with the kidnappers to release the guard on the
grounds that he is ‘innocent’, and should be let go, to which the
gunmen obliged.

NEXT learnt that
the kidnappers opened a line of discussion with Mr Atta’s wife late
Thursday night and demanded N50 million ransom as condition to setting
her husband free.

The woman was said
to have pleaded with them for leniency and, by the weekend, the
abductors sliced it to N35 million, asking the embattled woman to get
across to them on a ‘dedicated account number’, the sum of N1 million
as the cost of taking care of her husband pending the full payment of
the ransom.

The Ebira ethnic
community in Kano, where Mr Atta is known for community participation,
also organized a special prayer for God’s intervention in the matter.

Hoping for early release

A family source
said Mrs Atta left Kano for Abuja yesterday morning after “a deposit of
half a million naira was paid by the family to the ‘dedicated
account’.” “One of the kidnappers called back to acknowledge receipt of
the funds but warned of dire consequence if the family fails to
expedite action on the ‘real deal’,” the source said. “He may regain
his freedom soon, as we have a reached a compromise with the
abductors.”

The police in Kano,
however, said they have not received any complaint over the incident.
The state police boss, Baba Muhammad, said the case might have been
reported where the incident occurred.

Efforts to get the reaction of the former Inspector General of
Police, Ali Atta, proved abortive, as several calls to his phone went
unanswered.

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US rakes in 300b from Nigeria corruption

US rakes in 300b from Nigeria corruption

About two years after foreign law enforcement agencies slammed punitive fines in the US and Germany on Siemens for bribing officials of foreign countries – including Nigeria – to secure contracts, no Nigerian has been prosecuted.

As
Nigerian law enforcement agencies engage in what appears to be an
everlasting investigation of government officials indicted abroad for
corruption, one country, the United States, is busy raking in massive
revenue on account of Nigeria’s dereliction.

Nigeria’s bribery
misfortune has so far generated over N300 billion (approximately $2
billion) in revenue for the United States government, from fines it
imposed on companies which bribed Nigerian officials to corner
government contracts. Our analysis of the three current major
international bribery scandals (Siemens, Halliburton/TSKJ, Daimler)
involving Nigerian officials, indicates no traction or indictment from
the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), the agency that
leads investigations relating to economic and financial crimes.

This
finding also coincides with the release of a business survey on crime
and corruption in our country, which indicates that Nigerians have
“little trust in anti-corruption authorities.”

The report is a
collaboration between the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS), the
Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), the European Union
(EU), and the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC).

“It
is hard to have any confidence in these agencies, and all these endless
investigations point at nothing but a case of dereliction, and probably
collaboration, or both,” said Jiti Ogunye, a leading public interest
lawyer in Lagos, who wondered angrily “how come that 19 years after
Siemens, (the Germany-based multinational electrical firm) agreed to
pay fines to both the US and German authorities for bribing officials
of foreign countries – including Nigeria – to secure contracts, no
Nigerian has been prosecuted?”

Another attorney, Abuja-based Charles
Musa, said if the US government is fining its own citizens, and its
companies, it is unfortunate that Nigeria, where all the bribery took
place, be it Anammco or Halliburton, is just grandstanding and playing
to the gallery, and not serious about prosecuting its citizens.

“In
a proper country, those companies should have been fined themselves,
and they’ll be blacklisted. It’s unfortunate that we don’t have the
political will to prosecute any crime in this country as long as it
doesn’t involve a poor man. These people are well known, they (their
names) are on the Internet, they are in US court papers, and nothing
has happened to them. It is unfortunate,” he said.

US revenue

The
revenue made by the United States represents fines paid by bribe
givers: Siemens, Kellogg Brown & Root, Technip and Daimler AG, to
the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission and the Department of
Justice in settlement agreements, for giving kickbacks to Nigerian
officials in exchange for multibillion dollar contracts. And by the
time investigations are completed in the $182 million Halliburton
bribery scandal, which has so far yielded $917 million dollars for the
U.S. government, the country is likely to rake in an additional N68
billion (approximately $449million) in fines from a former Halliburton
executive Albert Jackson Stanley, two United Kingdom citizens, Jeffrey
Tesler and Wojciech Chodan, and ENI of France, a member of the infamous
TSKJ consortium.

Already, Mr Stanley has been sentenced to seven
years in jail and he is to pay $10.8 million in restitution. Tesler and
Chodan, who allegedly coordinated the elaborate bribery scheme on
behalf of the TSKJ consortium, have also been indicted by a federal
grand jury in Houston and might forfeit $132 million to the American
government.

Investigations into ENI’s involvement in the bribery
scheme is still ongoing but in anticipation of its indictment, the
company has already set aside 250 million euro, an amount it plans to
deploy in a settlement agreement with the SEC and the Department of
Justice.

America has accused the company of violating its Foreign
Corrupt Practices Act, which forbids “certain classes of persons and
entities to make payments to foreign government officials to assist in
obtaining or retaining business.”

Unwilling Nigeria

But
while the U.S. is prosecuting its citizens involved in the scams and
compelling concerned companies to pay huge fines, Nigeria, where the
offences were committed and whose citizens received the bribes, has
failed to properly investigate the cases and punish those involved.

“What
that means is that Nigerian laws and institutions are not working and
we are paying dearly for that,” said Bunmi Aborisade, an adjunct
professor at the State University of New York. “If those fines had been
paid to our country, it would have gone a long way in alleviating
poverty among our people. But that is even if the fine proceeds are not
stolen again.”

Siemens was the first to enter into a settlement
agreement with the SEC and the American justice department. On December
12, 2008, in a charge brought against it in a US District Court for the
District of Columbia, the German company agreed to pay $350 million in
disgorgement to SEC and a $450 million criminal fine to the justice
department.

The company had earlier paid fines of 395 million Euro
(approximately $569 million) and 201 million Euro(approximately $285
million) to the office of the Prosecutor-General in Munich, Germany,
over the same charge that it bribed Nigerian officials to corner four
telecommunication contracts.

When Siemens first entered into these
plea agreements, the Nigerian government blacklisted it and suspended
it from handling government contracts. But the Umaru Yar’Adua
administration soon lifted the suspension, saying the company had
repented. The company did not pay any fine and nobody was prosecuted
for the crime.

Two months later, in February 2009, Kellog Brown and
Root parted with $177 million and $402 million in payments it made to
SEC and the department of justice for its role in the bribing of
top-level Nigerian officials in exchange for the contract to build our
$6 billion Nigerian Liquefied Natural Gas plant.

The two U.S.
agencies then went after German automaker, Daimler, and got it to cough
out a total $185 million in fines to settle charges that it compromised
Nigerian officials to award several vehicle supply contracts to it.

With
the announcement on Monday that Technip, a member of the TSKJ
consortium, had agreed to pay $338 million for its role in the bribery
of Nigerian officials, America’s total earning from enforcement
proceedings in the $182 million Halliburton bribery scam alone now
stands at $917 million (approximately N138 billion).

“The
resolutions announced today demonstrate once again the department’s
commitment to aggressively investigate and prosecute international
bribery by U.S. and foreign corporations alike,” the justice
department’s Principal Deputy Assistant Attorney General, Mythili
Raman, said in a statement. “The fact that Technip now must pay
criminal penalties and civil disgorgement totalling $338 million should
make clear that, in the end, bribery of foreign officials will have
consequences.”

Not finished

Yet the Americans
are not finished. ENI, another member of the TSKJ consortium, is being
investigated and both SEC and the Justice department are likely to file
separate charges against the company before long. The fourth member of
the TSKJ Consortium, JGC Corporation of Japan, may, however, escape
U.S. sanctions because it is not listed in the New York Stock Exchange.
It is listed in the Tokyo Stock Exchange.

The U.S. authorities said
it was determined to bring to book all those involved in bribing
foreign officials in exchange for business favours.

“The FBI is
committed to pursuing those who disrupt the level playing field to
which companies in the U.S. and around the world are entitled,” said
FBI Assistant Director Kevin L. Perkins. “This case (Technip’s)
demonstrates the FBI’s commitment to aggressively investigate
violations of this law. We will continue to investigate FCPA matters by
working in partnership with other law enforcement agencies, both
foreign and domestic, to ensure that both corporations and executives
who bribe foreign officials in return for lucrative business contracts
are punished.” Analysts say while America’s FBI and SEC are matching
words with action, Nigeria’s EFCC, responsible for the Nigerian end of
the investigation, is running round in circles and barking without
biting.

Not lifting a finger

“It is quite
unfortunate and pathetic that foreign countries have brought to justice
those who have engaged in bribery while doing businesses in Nigeria,
while Nigeria, the victim of these corrupt practices, has not lifted a
finger in such despicable acts against the country,” said Bukola
Oreofe, executive director, Nigeria Liberty Democratic Forum, a New
York-based pro-democracy group.

“One can only leave to the
imagination the number of schools, hospitals, roads, agricultural
development, avoidable deaths that would have been averted if Nigeria
had been protected from this fleecing or if the country, through her
own criminal statutes, could bring the local and foreign perpetrators
to justice.

“If the United States can earn millions from such punishment, it is sad that Nigeria looks the other way,” Oreofe said.

Idris Akinbajo and Elor Nkereuwem contributed to this report.

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One with the word

One with the word

Speaking recently at the first African Women in Film Forum in Lagos, Abena Busia had the audience laughing when she said that cars were better treated than women in Nollywood. ‘Of Cooking, Cars and Gendered Culture’ was the title of her lead presentation. After the first day’s series of events, everyone wanted a word with Busia, a poet, performer and an associate professor at Rutgers University in the United States. She spared a few lively and enlightening minutes with NEXT.

Born to do it

Abena Busia, a poet, teacher and performer is sister to actress Akosua Busia, who starred in Steven Spielberg’s epochal ‘The Color Purple’ with Whoopi Goldberg, Danny Glover and Oprah Winfrey. Their father was former Ghanaian Prime Minister Kofi Busia.

“We grew up in a family that loved literature and loved hymns and treasured the spoken word,” she said, when asked if a performance trait runs in the family.

“We had family praise on Sunday evenings and our father would make us each read a Bible verse. At one point when we were in Mexico, we weren’t in regular school (we were being home-schooled for one semester), Father bought poetry anthologies and he said, ‘You can choose any poem you want from any of these anthologies but every Sunday after lunch you have to recite to me a poem you’ve learnt.’ Mother was a wonderful singer, her father was a chorister. I’ve been writing poetry all my life I’ve been writing since I was six.”

The Busia children were introduced to literary classics at an early age. “I had read every novel Jane Austen had written except ‘Emma’ by the time I was 13,” Busia said. “Our father loved ‘The Pilgrim’s Progress’ and Keats. I remember him reciting Tennyson and so on. So we grew up in a family where you heard the word, either the Word of God or the word of the great writers.”

Busia has herself performed her poetry globally at Jazz and poetry festivals, conferences and churches.

The early introduction to Western literature and cultural traditions did adulterate the family’s ‘Africanness’, Busia was quick to point out.

“There isn’t a disconnect. I was lucky that even though we were in exile, my father still got ‘Transition’ (an African literary magazine published in the 70s). It was really when you get to college that you start to discover African and African American writers. Each one of us has to have the courage and integrity to know ‘My people are out there. What are they doing?’ I say there’s not a disconnect because I think it supports dichotomy to think we are either westernised or traditional. It’s not the case. We have been colonised; the legacies are also part of us. We have also gone over there and made ourselves part of them and so there’s a kind of melange and hybridity,” she said, citing the example of modern dressing as cutting across cultures.

Being African

On both days of the WIFF forum, however, Busia was consciously dressed in West African attire. “That was a political decision I made in the United States that I would not speak wearing European dress. So when I am on stage, I always wear West African dress. It’s not a contradiction. For me in the academy in the United States where I know being an African has a form of resonance that I want to resist and have critiqued, I want them to know, ‘This is my heritage.’ I want them to know when they look at me that I have roots and a culture, otherwise it‘ll be easy for them to think I don’t; and I don’t want that.”

This unavoidably brought up the question of being an African writer and the different responses it has generated. “Well I think that’s the answer, ‘I write and I’m an African’ When you say you don’t want to be put in a box, that’s a two-edged sword. I get disturbed when we resist being called African writers because then you sort of fall into the trap of limiting the meaning of African writing to the socio-political novel in English or whatever it is that is the dilemma and I want people to recognise that there is a diversity and ethnicity of African writers,” Busia replied.

“Now you might want to say that if you cannot write in an African language then you are not an African writer, I could understand that but then that would have excluded me and I would be very hurt by that. It could also exclude Chinua Achebe’s great novels and he is revered around the world because he managed to manipulate the English language so that when you read him, you think you are reading Igbo. He managed to style it, phrase it, transliterate the proverbs and use the imagery, so that when you read Chinua Achebe you forget that you are reading English. I don’t speak Igbo but I hear it when I’m reading him.”

Busia also has ears for other languages. “I speak French, I speak Twi, but not as well as I would like. I understand Ga because it’s my mother’s language but I can’t think in it.”

She gives English its due in the midst of Africa’s rich tongues. “Every language has its own richness. Every language has its own ideology. I love the English language because it’s impure. It absorbs everything. What is English? Anglo-Saxon, Latin, Greek, French. You name it, it takes it. Look at the number of words in English that come from Hindu because they (the English) were there?”

Busia lists ‘cricket and ‘veranda’ as words with Hindi etymology. “When I say I love the English language, I love it because it’s malleable. I love French too but for different reasons but I think the French academicians are crazy, trying to purify it. ‘Le Weekend’ is here to stay,” she said of neologisms that French academicians were having a hard time accepting. “It wouldn’t occur to [the English] to purge the English language of its ‘French-isms’ or ‘Spanish-isms’ or what have you. So that’s why all of the world you have variations of the English Language. Jamaican English is not the same as Liberian English. They are almost mutually incomprehensible, but they are both English.”

A Feminist

Abena Busia’s lead presentation was well received at the Women in Film Forum. Her suggestions on Nollywood should not raise any conflict. “Whatever aspect of filmmaking you are involved in, treat it with integrity and do your work to make it the best. Don’t take anything less.”

The gender expert’s message on the Forum’s theme was lucid enough for the most pedestrian filmmaker. “Don’t be glib. Don’t shove in just because it’s easy. If you are going to write about a prostitute, give her complexity. She has a life. Every character should have a life. Treat your art as an art that is ennobling and we will get noble films. Some of the best female characters in literature are prostitutes. But that’s because they weren’t treated as flat characters,” she said with passion.

The fire of feminism comes across and she is not in denial about her stance. “That’s an easy one. I’m a feminist.” And on being a woman? “I don’t know how to be anything else,” she said with a laugh, before heading off for her appointment.

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Uche Okpa-Iroha goes to the Netherlands

Uche Okpa-Iroha goes to the Netherlands

Emerging
artist-photographer, Uche Okpa-Iroha, has been selected as a research
fellow in the Rijksakademie, Amsterdam, Nederlands. The selection is
seen as yet another milestone for photography practice in Nigeria, and
a major career boost for Okpa-Iroha, a previous subject of the NEXT
‘Studio Visit’ feature.

The prestigious
Rijskakdemie Van Bleeldende Kunsten was founded by King William III in
1870. It was intended as “a haven of international standing”. Today,
the Rijksakademie serves as a laboratory for developing talent on an
international level.

It focuses on
facilitating research and production for talented, emerging
professional artists from all over the world. Every year, artists are
invited for an interview for a possible selection for a residency
period. The primary selection criteria are excellence and possibility
for further development in their chosen fields.

Award winning Uche
Okpa-Iroha emerged as one of the 12 selected artists for this year’s
residency. A total of 1722 applications were received from artists;
these were then pruned to the chosen dozen, after a rigorous selection
process by the Rijkskademie’s advisors. The selection panel is made of
seasoned artists and theoreticians with longstanding association with
the the Rijksakademie.

Also a kidney
health campaigner, Uche Okpa-Iroha became a full-time professional
photographer in 2006, having apprenticed under his cousin, the Prince
Claus Laureate, Uche James Iroha. The following year, Okpa-Iroha
together with his friends set up the Black Box Photography Collective.
The group went on to have major exhibitions in Lagos and Havana, Cuba.
Okpa-Iroha has shown his own works at major exhibitions in Canada,
Belgium, Spain, Germany and France. The artist is also a member of the
Pan African Photography travel group known as the Invisible Borders; as
well as the Under the Table Pan African Photography Collective in
Maputo, Mozambique.

Milestones in
Okpa-Iroha’s so far include his first runner-up position in the Life in
My City Art and Photography competition (2007), organised by the
Alliance Franciase and Rokana Industries in Enugu. He also won the
Seydou Keita award for the Best Photographic Creation at the 2009
edition of the African Photography Biennial, Bamako Encounters. In the
same year, he received the Jean Paul Blachere Foundation Prize in Apt,
France.

Speaking of his
selection into the Rijksakademie, the artist said, “I thank God for the
opportunity to be selected into this prestigious institution. I believe
it is a good thing for photography in Nigeria and the future is bright.
It is also a big score not just for me but for all other passionate,
young and upcoming Nigerian photographers. I intend to use this
platform to help develop and encourage the growth of photography in the
contemporary Nigerian art space.”

Uche Okpa-Iroha’s research fellowship as the Rijksakademie is for a period of two years, commencing January 2011.

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Drawing on Nigerian-Korean cooperation

Drawing on Nigerian-Korean cooperation

On Tuesday, June 29, the Korean Cultural Centre in Abuja played host to 20 primary schools from across the Federal Capital Territory to celebrate the winners of its first drawing competition. The centre organised the event to mark 30 years of diplomatic ties between Nigeria and South Korea.

According to Jeong Sun Suh, director of the centre, the competition had called on students to submit drawings exploring the relationship between the two countries. Out of hundreds of entries, 30 finalists were chosen, which will be on display in the centre’s exhibition hall for the next three months.

Korean ambassador to Nigeria, Young-Kuk Park, was on hand to present the awards, though some schools were not available to receive their prizes as they arrived late.

The gold prize winner went home with N20,000, while the four silver medallists received N10,000 apiece and the five bronzes won N5,000 each. Every awardee, including the consolation prize winners, got notebooks and poster colours.

Reactions

The centre had called on the National Gallery of Arts to help judge the contest and this led to some controversy. Some schools complained that the competition’s rules were vague and that many students’ works were unfairly disqualified.

In her remarks, Perpetua Onyejekwe of the National Gallery of Arts explained the winning criteria.

“We disqualified so many entries because it was clear that many were assisted by art teachers,” she said. “The National Gallery is a neutral body, without sentiment, and we gave [prizes] to those who got what we actually wanted.”

Despite the anger, most of the attendees were happy with the results. A few students even sneaked out of the ceremony to celebrate noisily in the hall after they received their prizes.

Sarah Hosea, a parent, noted that the competition had given her child an avenue to express himself, though he did not win any prizes.

“It is part of learning,” she said. “This is a part of the handiwork that will give him a job as an artist in the future.”

The gold winner, 10-year-old Jidechukwu Ilokobi, of Festival Primary School, also looked forward to a future in art.

“I want to be an artist,” he said. “As for the money, I’m going to give it to my parents and I am going to give the prize to my school.”

Until next year

Though organisers had planned on a small-scale ceremony for 50 people, over 100 attendees crowded into the centre’s exhibition hall and many continued to arrive as the ceremony progressed.

In his closing remarks, Mr. Park said that this year’s ceremony was only the beginning. He noted that the competition was the first hosted by the centre and promised a smoother event next year.

“This is just another effort to lay the groundwork to strengthen the ties between our two countries,” the ambassador said. “We will continue this and we will raise the next edition.”

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Drummer Boy

Drummer Boy

Twelve-year-old
Temilorun Oguntoyinbo, the Drummer Boy, plays the Gangan drum with the
dexterity of a virtuoso. clutching the drum rhythmically between his
flank and underarm while tapping its face with his drum stick and
fingers, his expression is solemn as he makes the drum speak the
language of the traditional Yoruba.

Born to a musical
mother, Titi Oguntoyinbo, who is hailed as the Queen of Highlife,
Temilorun says he started playing the talking drum when he was five
years old. He bought his first drum with money given to him by his
mother, with whom he performs at shows on occasion.

A JSS 2 student of
Fortune College, Ikotun, Lagos, Temilorun speaks with a maturity
noticeably contrasting with his age as he mentions the different types
of drums he can play, namely: Iya Ilu, Gangan, and the modern drum set.
He also recalls trying his hand on the Sakara and Bata drums. Asked
about his influence towards playing traditional Yoruba drums rather
than the newer drum sets, he said he learnt to play it watching a man
in his church choir and taking lessons from him occasionally.

The budding
musician plays for his church, his school and for events where he is
invited to play. When asked if he has a manager, he responds, ‘I’m
still young’, and says his mum currently manages him; while Nigerian
classic music promoter Femi Esho gets him events from time to time,
such as the Tunde Fagbenle book launch where he played recently. Asked
how he juggles his craft with his studies, he says he knows he has to
work hard to become something in life; and he hopes to study Human
Kinetics at Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile Ife, because it involves
sports.

When hailed as an
expert, he denies this as he says simply, “I make mistakes too”, though
from an audience’s point of view his performance appears perfect, he
admits to knocking his fingers with his drum stick on occasion such as
in the beginning of the act this writer viewed. “Drumming is hard”, he
says, “your neck, shoulder, underarm and hands hurt a lot.”

Drums are however
not the only instrument he’s skilled at, as he plays the flute and
admits to preferring that over the drum. In the future, he plans to
deviate to playing the flute publicly and he mentions Yemi Sax, popular
saxophonist as his role model. Born into “a united polygamous family,”
he says his father is rarely at home and he seeks counsel from his
older brother, Lekan, 28, in the absence of his father.

Temilorun Oguntoyinbo’s other interests include football, in which
he plays mid-field position, basketball and computer games. This young
talented boy of many interests, kindly gave this reporter a discount,
offering to accept ten thousand naira to play at an event instead of
his usual charge of twenty thousand or more because, according to him,
he is young and he doesn’t need a lot of money; and also because “we
are now friends.”

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Sounds and images of South Africa 2010

Sounds and images of South Africa 2010

Being a patriotic
yet pragmatic Nigerian, I ‘Never Expected Power Always’ during the one
month duration of the World Cup in South Africa. But my patriotism took
a beating when during Nigeria’s first match against Argentina and
Nigeria’s crucial last match against South Korea, it rudely dawned on
me that I should ‘Never (have) Expected Power Anytime!’

Just as
unexpectedly our dear Super Eagles disgracefully turned out to be Super
Chickens (stage fright?) on the world football stage, I was more than
reassured that the ‘Power Holding Company of Nigeria’ would always live
up to its true name! As sure as night follows day, I will still get my
fat bill from PHCN for my excessive consumption of electricity during
the entire month of the 2010 World Cup!

Well, life goes on
in Nigeria, or ‘Naija’, as the younger hip generation have warned me to
rebrand our dear land of wingless Eagles, and one-time flying
Elephants!

My faithful
companion was the bass drone of my over-worked generator, until Osho,
the master-technician-turned-sound-conductor changed the generator’s
pitch to a manageable tenor purr. However, whenever there was a live
broadcast of matches from SA2010, the steady buzzing sound of vuvuzelas
immediately overwhelmed all other sounds around me; even the
commentator’s voice, and most times the referee’s whistle, and it
became an instant decision on whether to turn down or cut off the sound
of the transmission. Most times, I watched matches without the
accompanying sound.

The vuvuzela

Like it or not, the
vuvuzela is the sound of SA2010! It might also well become the new
sound of South Africa itself and many other sporting events worldwide;
unless sports organisers have the guts and anti-noise courage to say
‘no’, like Wimbledon has emphatically done.

For me, vuvuzela is
a sound of noise which, some ‘sharp’ social scientists now identify as
the new symbol and living proof that Africans love noise when they are
having a good time! Definitely, the multi-thousands of football fans
blowing their vuvuzelas at SA2010, particularly the South African
football fans and citizens, were having the ball of their lives for
successfully hosting against all odds; and, in appreciation of their
brave boys, Bafana Bafana.

The decibel level
of 90,000 vuvuzelas when Bafana Bafana ‘rightly’ scored the first goal
in the opening match of the SA2010 World Cup, was the highest
earthquake-inducing noise imaginable at a sporting event. When Mexico
equalised in the second half, the vuvuzelas were not as loud and after
the match, the South African goalkeeper made the odd observation that
it did not feel like they were playing at home since the vuvuzelas were
not loud enough throughout the match to inspire Bafana Bafana.

Most visiting teams
simply hated the sound of vuvuzelas. The horrid sound, they claimed,
prevented them from communicating with their teammates during play, and
their coaches concurred that they could not shout out instructions over
the din, which also made players lose concentration. FIFA
diplomatically appeared to consider a ban, but then overwhelmingly
approved the use of vuvuzelas.

Uninspired Eagles

Vuvuzelas had
infiltrated Nigeria during the FIFA 2009 Under-17 Championships. The
Nigeria Football Federation supposedly gave out many to Nigerian fans,
but obviously they didn’t fancy blowing their lungs out all in the name
of supporting the Eaglets.

My neighbour’s
teenage ward let the entire area know he had a vuvuzela when he let out
a few blasts of its sound just before the vital Nigeria-South Korea
match. When Nigeria scored, he let loose ecstatic vuvuzela bleats. When
South Korea came back strong, the absence of his vuvuzela sound
smoothly blended into the graveyard silence that suddenly enveloped the
entire neighbourhood!

The vuvuzelas were
subdued when Uruguay beat South Africa in the group stage, and they
became a whimper when the Bafana Bafana exited the competition. And so,
when huge competing sounds of drumming and flag-waving singing from
thousands of rival fans filled Pretoria stadium during the crunch match
between Spain and Chile, it refreshingly sounded as if another and
older aspect of support for football teams had finally infused SA2010.

Who knows, if the
vuvuzelas were not overbearing and had let our world-famous Supporters
Club continuously drum, sing, and blow their trumpets, they would have
inspired the Eagles to fly sky-high to victory!

Interestingly, a
South African freedom fighter of old expressed his displeasure that
intense inspired singing and dancing, which had motivated the struggle
to victory over apartheid in the past, has now been replaced by the
vuvuzela. He should have added that the soul sound of Soweto where
Mandela was welcomed from jail and where the showpiece Soccer City
stadium of SA2010 now stands, was the penny-whistle, the driving force
of Kwela and South African jazz music.

Actors and cheats

Live images of
SA2010, television close-ups, cut-aways, live action, and replays were
a feast of human emotions and sports intrigues. They confirmed that
football players are actors and cheats, as well as rough and brutal.
The calculated cynicism of hardcore football players and fans who brag
that football is a man’s game was laid bare and raw!

I noted, amongst
many, the antics of the Chilean player who deliberately dug his studs
into the knee of his Spanish opponent as they both rose from a fall.
Unfortunately, the referee was right over them and as the Chilean
feigned innocence by shrugging and opening his arms, the referee
promptly rewarded him with a yellow card.

Then there was the
Ivorian who made a real meal of Kaka’s slight shove on his chest; by
clutching his face, falling and reeling on the ground. He was rewarded
by the referee showing Kaka a red card and sending off the dangerous
Brazilian striker. Ivory Coast still lost 1-3 to Brazil!

Of course,
Nigerians all over the world are aware of Kaita’s recorded moment of
madness when his intent to stamp his Greek opponent was rewarded by a
red card and sending off. Nigeria lost! A close-up replay clearly
showed the elbow of the French midfield player, who was eventually
red-carded and sent off, firmly planted in the cheek of the South
African defender as they both went for a header in front of South
Africa’s goalmouth. Bafana Bafana deservedly beat a Henry-captained
ragged French team 2-1; throwing them out in the first round of SA2010.

Who says there is no law of karma in football? The Republic of
Ireland’s sports press gloated the next day after the inglorious exit
of France. They printed huge images (also seen live on television as it
happened) of Henry deliberately palming the ball in the last-gasp move
that led to France’s goal that eliminated Ireland from qualifying for
SA2010.

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EMAIL FROM AMERICA: Living and dying in America

EMAIL FROM AMERICA: Living and dying in America

Living in America
is expensive. And dying, sweet relief, is almost impossible. America
will not let you die in peace. I have life insurance, and it is the
irony of my wretched existence than I am a million times worth more to
my family dead, than alive. As a condition for my family getting the
proceeds of this life insurance, the insurance company has expressly
forbidden me from dying. In fact any such desire expressed loudly in
the presence of the many spies working for the said insurance company
could mean cancellation of my insurance on account of the fact that I
am a certified loser.

Our insurance
company does not have to worry about rumours of my impending death. It
is impossible to die in America because the country’s afamako emergency
personnel will not let you die. Let’s say you drink yourself silly
every day, and then one day you wake up to find that your liver no
longer exists. Well, in civilised societies like Nigeria, you are dead
and your children start buying aso ebi for your funeral. They even buy
you an aso ebi for your own funeral. Your relatives who previously
declined to spit in your mouth to save your life will spend all their
life savings honouring pleasant memories of your worthless existence.

In America, say
you wake up to find that you are now missing a liver and both kidneys,
please do not start celebrating your coming rest in the arms of the
Lord. America will not let you rest in peace without a fight. As soon
as your eyes start closing, your amebo neighbour whose binoculars are
trained on your sorry behind will immediately call the emergency 9-1-1
line. “Officers, a poor black man is threatening to die! Please come
right away and get his black ass!” America will swoop on you, ambulance
wailing, police cars racing into your lawn, ruining everything, the
firefighters showing off their big red fire engines, breaking down your
doors and rescuing you from eternal bliss. If you are really dying, an
air ambulance (helicopter!) will swoop down and snatch you away to the
hospital. In America, there are helicopter pads in poor neighbourhoods,
because the poor have a bad habit of threatening to die. In Nigeria,
only the super rich have helicopter pads for ferrying them to Dubai to
take care of their skin rash. In the hospital, America will spend
hundreds of thousands of dollars to keep you alive (sample bill: Room
and lodging per night, $10,999, one toilet roll, $1,999, Cable TV
($2,999), Internet access ($5,999 per hour), beautiful Nigerian nurses
specially flown in to understand your Ijebu accent ($6,999 per hour).
They will patch you up and then throw you back out on the streets,
alive but still hungry for death.

Many Nigerians
don’t like dying, an attitude I find very irritating since they are
fond of going to church to pray to go to heaven. I am not a Christian
but I once visited this Nigerian church in America because I had heard
they would serve pounded yam and okra soup plus bush-meat at the end of
the service. They did not, the jerks. As I was backing out of the
parking lot in rage, while texting my displeasure to my daughter
Ominira, this yeye member of the church who was not looking as she was
walking to her cheap-ass car hit my car with her big behind. She almost
destroyed my car with her industrial strength butt. Wo, she immediately
fell on the ground screaming about the devil (me!) and how death is not
her portion and how Jesus Christ will not allow her to die in the hands
of an idiot (me) and in any case if she was going to die, why be killed
by a thirty-year-old coat of many colours (my van!). The yeye woman is
from Nigeria.

Dying in my
village in Nigeria is very expensive. In my village, Made-in-Nigeria
democracy has ensured that people live impoverished lives. But once
they die, come and see wahala. The villagers form a funeral committee
called Screwing the Living and they start to demand all sorts of
nonsense from the bereaved relatives, delicacies that the deceased did
not enjoy while alive. Everyone in the village benefits. These days, my
dad Papalolo walks around the village with a spoon in his agbada pocket
in case he runs into a funeral. Funerals are expensive. That is why my
dad Papalolo will never die. I cannot afford his funeral. I don’t have
the money. Once Papalolo lands in the valley of his ancestors, I will
have him properly embalmed, dress him up nicely and sit him on his
favourite lounge chair in his veranda. I will tell everybody he is
taking a nap.

I have been rambling. This is a round-about way of saying that I
love my wife. Once, I go to our ancestors, she knows where the
insurance papers are. Woman wen dey cry dey see road. Go for it, my
queen, I love you.

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On democracy and dictators

On democracy and dictators

The fifth edition
of BookJam @ Silverbird held Saturday, June 26, at the Silverbird
Lifestyle Store, Silverbird Galleria, Victoria Island. The BookJam,
which takes place on the last Saturday of every month, is sponsored by
Coca Cola, Farafina and Feed Mill.

Anchored by Anwuli
Ojogwu, the event had as special guest Alain Mabanckou, a writer from
Congo Brazzaville. Nigerian writers, Toni Onwordi, Kunle Ajibade and
Abraham Oshoko were guest writers; reading from their books. Also
present at the event were actress Joke Silva; and Theatre @Terra
producer, Wole Oguntokun.

Jailed for life

Among the
highlights of the event was the reading by Kunle Ajibade, also author
of ‘Nigeria, What A Country!’ He read an excerpt of his
autobiographical book, ‘Jailed For Life’. He narrated for the benefit
of the audience, the details of his ordeal and his ruminations while
incarcerated by General Sani Abacha’s administration. “We suppose to
open you when you wan chop and lock you when you finish… We suppose to
chain you to this bed when you wan sleep,” he read – words, which he
attributed to his jail keepers, and which depicted the inhumanity of
incarceration.

June 12

Perhaps the most
interesting reading of the evening was that of Abraham Oshoko from his
graphic novel, ‘June 12’, which is produced in the style of a comic
book. According to the cartoonist, his motivation for the book was the
need to let people know the story of June 12.

“Nigeria and Africa
as a whole do not keep records; we are a people who sweep issues and
problems under the carpet. And now the carpet has a hunch back,” he
said. Reading an excerpt about a politician trying to convince an
activist to mobilise his ‘people’ to vote for him, Oshoko illustrated
how in the matter of politics, “money is the only ideology.”

Oshoko also read a
collection of quotes from past political office holders. These
included: “We have not chosen who will succeed us, we have only decided
who will not” – Ibrahim Babangida (1988). “Everyone has a gift from
God. The Northerners are endowed by God with leadership qualities, the
Yoruba man knows how to earn a living and has diplomatic qualities, the
Igbo man is gifted in trade, commerce, and technological innovation;
God so created us equally, with purpose and different gifts” – Yusuf
Maitama Sule, supposedly supporting an opinion that the North should
maintain leadership of Nigeria.

Pilgrimages

Alain Mabanckou,
international writer and author of such works as ‘African Psycho’,
’Broken Glass’ and ‘Blue, White, Red’ declined to read as according to
him he wasn’t satisfied with his English language reading abilities.
His excerpt from ‘African Psycho’ was read by a member of the audience.
Mabanckou, is in Nigeria for a two-week period as part of Pilgrimages,
a Pan African literary project organized by the Chinua Achebe Centre,
Bard College in the US. The project has sent 13 African writers to 13
cities on the continent, after which each would produce a travel
writing work about the experience. Mabanckou is therefore on a
‘pilgrimage’ to Lagos. He is writing about his impressions of the
sprawling metropolis and the phenomena associated with the city, such
as traffic and youth culture.

Sand in the mouth

In the question and
answer session following the readings, author of ‘Under the Brown
Rusted Roofs’ and arts journalist Abimbola Adelakun, asked Ajibade if,
with the benefit of hindsight, he would have gone ahead with his
activities under Abacha’s dictatorship had he known they would land him
in jail. The question seemed a difficult one for Ajibade; despite
explanations and a reiteration of the question by another member of the
audience, the most substantial answer he gave was that “I was writing
for pleasure, not with the intention of going to jail.” He remarked,
however, that “I sometimes regret that we did all those things we did,
only to have the aftermath of it tasting like sand in our mouths.”

The readings were
interspersed with poetry by Abidemi, who read a poem titled ‘Black’,
and a musical performance, ‘Times Are Good’, by Khafayat Quadri. Like
the readings earlier, the musical interlude suffered from unpleasant
feedback from the sound equipment. The evening ended with a raffle draw
for attendees who had purchased books from the lifestyle store, while
refreshment was served courtesy of Coca-cola and Feed Mill.

BookJam @ Silverbird is a monthly initiative, which is intended to
promote the appreciation of literature and the arts in Nigeria.

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