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One book that helped a lot in building the man
that I am today was Dennis Osadebe’s “Building A Nation”. The book started with
a historical perspective of Osadebe’s home town of Asaba, in modern day Delta
State, its founding by a chap named Nnebisi, through the centuries to the
struggle for Nigeria’s independence, onto Osadebe’s stewardship as the premier
of the Midwestern Region of Nigeria, and down to his service on the committee
that chose Abuja as our new capital.

I will never forget the passage about the funeral
of one of the greatest Nigerians ever, Herbert Macaulay. It rained on the day
of the funeral in 1946, and some people felt that the show should be stopped.
But four young Igbo boys braved the rain, and carried Macaulay’s coffin on
their shoulders to Ikoyi Cemetery with the cry, ‘he was our chief’.

Such a display of belief in the leadership of
someone from another ethnic group is rare in today’s Nigeria.

A few years ago, I listened with a bit of
disbelief as a friend of mine told me that she had no idea of who Herbert
Macaulay was. What was shocking to me then was that she was a first class
degree holder from a Nigerian university, and had grown up in my generation.
However at that point in time, I did not find her lack of knowledge horrifying.

Move the clock forward a few years, and I’m now
older and wiser. Thus it was that I listened in horror this Saturday past when
a young lady who just finished from secondary school and is awaiting her school
leaving results told me the same thing. As a matter of fact, this young lady
has no idea of who the following people are: Alhaji Sir Abubakar Tafawa Balewa,
Mazi Alvan Ikoku, General Murtala Ramat Mohammed, Chief Obafemi Awolowo, Alhaji
Sir Ahmadu Bello and Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe. To be fair and honest, she recognises
their names from the Naira notes that she wields each day, but that is all. She
has no idea of what Biafra really was, but at least knows that Emeka Ojukwu was
involved in the Biafra story. What his role was, she had no idea.

In shock, I attempted to guide her mind towards
contemporary Nigerian politics, and asked her who her state governor was. She
replied, “Nnamdi Ohakim”. At least she got the surname right. When pressed
about who is predecessor was, her response, “Goodluck Jonathan!”

I did what I considered to be the humane thing
and give her a crash course on our nation’s history. What I found most
frustrating was her almost absolute lack of interest in what I was saying!

What I find again most frustrating is the
question of who or what to channel my anger at.

The young lady (whom I must point out is
exceedingly respectful) is a stunning example of the rot in our country. And
nowhere is this rot exemplified more than in our educational system.

The importance of History as a course can NEVER
be understated, and in the opinion of this writer, it should be made compulsory
through primary, secondary and at least the first year of tertiary education.

It is knowledge of what our forebears did,
especially with an emphasis on what they got right, that could well and truly
give us a sense of national pride.

So just who was Herbert Macaulay?

Herbert Macaulay was born in Lagos in 1864 to
Sierra Leonean parents. His mother’s father was Samuel Ajayi Crowther. In 1881
he joined the Public Works Department of the colonial administration of Lagos,
and was sent to England for three years in 1890. When he returned to Lagos
(there was no Nigeria at the time), he was appointed surveyor of crown lands
for the colony of Lagos. He resigned from that position in 1898.

Historical records indicate that his resignation
may not have been unconnected with the racism practiced by the Europeans in the
colonial civil service. What is certain is that Macaulay established a very
successful private survey practice in Lagos and over the years became a
spokesman for the people in their opposition to British rule in Lagos, and
after the amalgamation, Nigeria.

By 1922 when a new Nigerian constitution was
introduced, Macaulay organised the Nigerian National Democratic Party, which
sought for self-governance for Lagos, the introduction of institutions of
higher education in Nigeria, compulsory primary education for Nigerians,
non-discrimination in the development of private enterprise, and the
Africanisation of the civil service.

In 1944 he presided over the inaugural meeting of
the Nigerian Union of Students from which the National Council of Nigeria and
the Cameroons (Nigeria’s first political party) was born. He became the NCNC’s
president and began a nationwide tour in 1945. However, during the tour, he
fell ill in Kano and returned to Lagos. He died in 1946.

If anyone can lay claim to the title, Father of
Nigeria, this is the man. He was already opposing the British whilst Zik, Awo
and the Sardauna were still in their diapers. That we are allowing yet another
generation to grow without knowing who he was, is a terrible crime.

The World Cup ended a month ago, but Kaka and Arjen Robben still
bear the pain.

A Belgian specialist who performed surgery on Kaka’s knee last
week said he jeopardised his career by playing for Brazil.

And according to Bayern Munich’s club doctor, Robben’s thigh
injury was so bad he should never have played for the Netherlands (Robben wound
up helping the Dutch reach the World Cup final).

We have been down this road before. The image of Zinedine Zidane
attempting to represent France at the 2002 World Cup despite having a thigh so
heavily bandaged he could barely walk was warning enough of the futility of it
all. The world moves on, but the consequences of stretching star players to the
breaking point between club and country is nowhere near being resolved.

At the start of this World Cup, Dr. Michel D’Hooghe, the chairman
of the medical committee for FIFA, soccer’s governing body, called on doctors
responsible for each of the 32 teams to respect their oath in terms of doping,
injury prevention and care. D’Hooghe also urged the referees to be vigilant
against particularly aggressive fouls.

After the final, during which the English referee Howard Webb
failed to send off Nigel de Jong of the Netherlands for kicking Xabi Alonso of
Spain in the ribs,

FIFA took three weeks to respond. Last Tuesday, it fined the
Dutch football association $14,480 because eight of its players received yellow
cards and one a red in that game. Spain, which had five players receive
yellows, was fined $9,650.

Those fines had all the effect of whacking a rhinoceros’s
backside with a feather.

Spain took home $30 million for winning the World Cup, the
Netherlands $24 million for finishing second, and each Spanish player walked,
or limped, away with a $750,000 bonus.

It is not money alone that drives players, most already rich, in
the World Cup. It is glory, achievement, fulfillment. And for those reasons,
players need to be protected from themselves.

Kaka and Robben went to the World Cup knowing all was not right
physically. Kaka’s club president at Real Madrid had insinuated last March that
Kaka was exaggerating his injury to save himself for the World Cup.

The president, Florentino Perez, had paid AC Milan $90 million
for Kaka, and the time he missed because of his injury represented a poor
return on the investment. Yet Madrid knew it had been sold a battered player;
Kaka had often played through ailments for Milan. His groin-muscle injury was
longstanding, and a knee strain then developed after he joined Madrid.

For Brazil, the importance of his passes, his intuitive awareness
of where Luis Fabiano or Robinho would move, could be sublime. But Kaka’s World
Cup was marred by his evident pain, and irritable moods.

Finally, as Kaka prepared to start Madrid’s preseason tour in Los
Angeles, the club sent him to Marc Martens, a knee specialist based in Antwerp,
Belgium, who had extended the careers of players like Ruud Gullit.

Martens told a Spanish newspaper: “As soon as I saw him, I could
tell it was serious. He started playing with some niggling injuries and ended
up with unbearable pain.” He added: “He pushed himself too hard against Holland
and Chile. It could have finished his career, destroyed him.” Kaka needs up to
four months to recuperate, but he should recover. Kaka said to reporters that
he had told the doctors in Madrid and Brazil that he felt pain in the knee, and
that they had suggested it was “just a muscle imbalance.” Jose Luiz Runco,
Brazil’s team doctor, said on a Brazilian sports channel: “Kaka did not risk
his career in any moment. He didn’t play in his normal state, but he showed
evident progress during the World Cup, which allowed him to be the outstanding
player in some matches.” Robben’s injured thigh muscle was known about before
the World Cup. Such was his value to Bayern Munich and the Netherlands, however
that he played for both at times when he was less than 100 percent physically.

His spectacular dribbles and goals took Munich to the Champions
League final in May. His latest hamstring pull came June 4, in a friendly
against Hungary.

Robben sat out the Netherlands’ first two games at the World Cup,
played 20 minutes as a substitute in the third, then started and scored against
Slovakia, Brazil and Uruguay, and was the Dutch team’s best player in the
final.

On his return to Munich last week, a magnetic resonance imaging
scan showed the thigh muscle was torn.

“It was irresponsible that it wasn’t properly diagnosed by the
Dutch,” said Bayern’s club physician, Hans-Wilhelm Mueller-Wohlfahrt. “He
should not have been allowed to play at the World Cup.” Karl-Heinz Rummenigge,
Bayern’s chief executive and chairman of the 191-member European Club
Association, is demanding reimbursement.

“Arjen will be missing for the important beginning to the
season,” he said. “Such an injury costs money. It would be fair if the Dutch
would bear these costs.” Rummenigge added: “We pay the players, but the
national teams injure them. FIFA values the players, but we value them five or
six times higher.

‘’Put it this way: If I rent a car, I must return it in a decent
condition. They have taken Arjen in good shape and returned him to the garage“
in awful shape.

© 2010 New York Times News
Service

Nigerians
may not have invented cars, but they have demonstrated the fact that
they are geniuses in the semiotics of renaming cars made in other parts
of the world.

Just as names
given to vehicles by their producers go beyond mere identification to
become rhetorical means of marketing them, nicknames given to such
vehicles by the public also speak subtly about the products and those
that use them.

In relation to how
cars signify social status, the Volkswagen Beetle car is for instance
referred to as “Boosu Nwamgbei (A bus for the poor),” an Igbo parody on
“Volkswagen” that narrates how the vehicle represents or belongs to the
poor person in society, even when many poor Nigerians could not afford
to purchase it. The car was also renamed “Azubuike” in recognition of
the unusual location of its engine at the rear where other car types
usually have their luggage compartments. “Azubuike” literally suggests
that its strength is at its behind, which is humorously related to the
idea of one’s strength being in having a successor (in the offspring,
usually the male child).

Deriving from this
same tradition is the identification of the 2008 model of Toyota Camry
car as “Big for Nothing”. Borrowed from the discourse of abuse in which
individuals are called derogatory names, this particular case refers to
the bearer’s abilities not matching their advertized or physical image.
“Big for Nothing” figuratively represents a Nigerian perception of how
the actual capacity of the car does not justify its reinvented big
size. In spite of the fact that the renaming of the car reveals an
awareness in the Nigerian consumer world about how frequent
reinventions of car shapes and sizes do not necessarily translate to
higher performance of the product, many Nigerians still have their eyes
on the car for the simple reason that its “bigness” is appropriate to
their own sense of what it means to be a “big man” in the society.

It seems that being
a “big man” is something that has to be demonstrated in material terms,
as seen not only in Nigeria but also in other parts of the world. The
longish Rolls Royce cars of America, the early generation of Chevrolet
cars, and the Cherokee Chief, all narrate a similar use of car size to
dominate, not just the road, but also the space of power and influence
in society. Space constraints and change in values of course have
forced cars users in the Western world to appreciate smaller cars.

But within this
discourse on space and power in Nigeria, one also finds humour.
Nigerians are indeed good at laughing at and with the other, whatever
their social and economic conditions. Such humour is found in almost
all the nicknames they have for automobiles. The Golf 2 was once a
dream car for many Nigerians, but with the massive importation of
various “tokunbo” (used) vehicles in Nigeria, coupled with a remarkable
improvement in monthly income in the country, the car became common on
Nigerian roads and consequently fell in prestige. It fell to the level
of taxicabs in a society where taxis are seen as low-grade vehicles.
Many taxi drivers also prefer it for its low fuel consumption and
maintenance cost. Thus, because the car has become “common” to many
Nigerians for whom uniqueness is part of the construction of class
superiority, it has come to be nicknamed “Pure Water,” a name derived
from “sachet water” which is again common in Nigeria as a result of the
crisis in public water supply.

I particularly like the Igbo nickname for pick-up vans – Azuanuuka (A turned back listens to no gossip).

Understood within
the context of aggressive and unfriendly driving on Nigerian roads, the
nickname recalls the I-don’t-care posture of drivers of the pick-up
vans who, shielded away in the front compartment of the vehicles,
present a deaf ear to the invectives directed to them by drivers of
other vehicles whose road rights have been violated. Indeed, vehicle
users who are inconsiderate of other road users tend to take advantage
of some protective features built onto their vehicles.

Drivers of
articulated vehicles like trucks are inclined to frighten away drivers
of other fragile vehicles, sometimes causing accidents that involve
mass deaths. Thus in popular Igbo discourse on road transport, the
trailer or tanker is referred to as “Achaghi akuo” (Ready for
collision, if not avoided).

Such humour may
also be linked to an acknowledgement of a similar quality in the
automobile. For instance, the nickname of the 1984 model of Mercedes
Benz car “German Mistake” ironically conveys the recognition of its
superior durability, compared to other car models, or even other
Mercedes Benz cars.

It is considered a
“mistake” in a changing automobile world where the survival of the
automobile company may depend on how high their sales figures rise and
not how many decades a customer enjoys the product before considering
whether to change the spark plugs!

A talking public is
very useful to business, and the Nigerian vehicle nickname geniuses are
doing a good job in semiotically reinventing the vehicles for the
overflooded Nigerian automobile market.