Archive for nigeriang

Opposition parties team up against Oshiomhole

Opposition parties team up against Oshiomhole

Ahead of the 2012
gubernatorial election in Edo State, a faction of the Labour Party (LP)
has entered into a coalition with the Peoples Progressive Party (PPP)
and other political parties in order to challenge the Action Congress
of Nigeria (ACN)-led government at the polls.

A national leader
of the PPP, Solomon Edebiri, who disclosed this in Benin City over the
weekend shortly after a meeting with leaders of Congress for
Progressive Change (CPC), ANPP and a faction of Labour Party in the
state, described both the ACN-led government and the PDP in the state
as “birds of the same feather.” “Our people have seen that while the
PDP ruined this state for over ten years which our people are still
suffering, the ACN government has become a military regime where only
one person dictates to all,” he said. “We are working on aligning with
all political parties to ensure that PDP and ACN do not come back to
power in Edo State. That is the idea. We want to be sure that the
people have a true progressive party.

He further
described PDP and ACN as ‘the same kind of wine in different bottles’,
saying politicians in both parties are the same. “You know they have
been decamping from PDP to ACN and from ACN to PDP. So, certainly our
people cannot take them very serious,” he said.

Not strong enough

Mr Edebiri said
opposition parties in the state have come to realise that none of them
can singly take on the ruling party because the resources cannot be
enough.

“So, we are therefore putting together a team of political groups to
form a very strong coalition to ensure that these people do not come
back in 2012,” he said. “We have to start it now by ensuring that we
have enough candidates from other political parties in the House of
Assembly in Edo State. And that is the essence of the various alliances
that we are putting together.” Mr Edebiri explained

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Nigeria universities to get nanomedicine centre

Nigeria universities to get nanomedicine centre

The National
Universities Commission (NUC) has signed a Memorandum of Understanding
(MOU) with the Institute for Lasers, Photonics, and Biophotonics
(ILPB), United States of America for the development of an
international joint research centre for nanomedicine in some Nigerian
universities. According to details of the MOU, the first phase of the
initiative is to implement the program at NUC-selected universities
while the second phase will bring Nigerian researchers to train at ILPB
and equipment distributed to Nigerian universities. The MOU postulates
that by this time, there should be “global impact of research with
widespread implementation of quantum dots and other nanoparticles in
the fields of medical diagnosis and treatment.” The third stage, meant
to take place five to 10 years from now, will be defined by major
research focuses, sufficient funding, and effective personnel training
and the centre is expected to become a first-class research center not
only in Nigeria, but in the world.

The NUC appointed
Paras Prasad, a professor of chemistry and medicine with the University
of Buffalo (UB) and the executive director of the ILPB, as the head of
the joint research center.

“The two major
application areas are alternate energy and health care. We are applying
this merge of photonics, of light wave energy, for application in the
area of medicine called nanomedicine. The other, alternative energy
focuses primarily on solar energy harvesting,” he said.

Beneficial science

Folarin Erogbogbo,
leader of the Nigerian group and research assistant professor in cancer
nanotechnology, explained that the primary focus in Nigeria will be on
nanomedicine, which could be applied to disease diagnosis, treatment,
and delivery.

“Over here [at UB],
we’ve done some work that could be beneficial for the early detection
of cancer. However nanomedicine doesn’t end there,” Mr. Erogbogbo said.
“It could be used in other areas like malaria and AIDS research and so
on; obesity issues, as well.” Mr. Erogbogbo, one of the primary
promoters of this collaboration, identified Prasad’s propensity to work
with international researchers and noticed that UB did not have a
strong academic presence in Africa. “The joint research institution
would incite a lot of change in Nigeria… we’re bringing cutting edge
technology to Nigeria,” Mr. Erogbogbo boasted.

Abike Dabiri-Erewa,
the chairperson of the House of Representatives Committee on the
Diaspora, was present to witness the signing of the MOU.

“We look forward to partnering with a world leader like UB that can
help us develop our scientific infrastructure. This is a bold step that
will go a long way toward the NUC’s vision for creating opportunities
in frontier areas of research and technology,” she said.

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258 inmates complete Qur’an recitation studies

258 inmates complete Qur’an recitation studies

About 258 inmates of Gusau Medium Prison in Zamfara State have
completed studies in the recitation of the Holy Qur’an. Speaking at the
graduation ceremony on Sunday, the state’s prison controller, Abubakar
Falke, said most of the inmates spent between 9 and 12 years in the
prison. He said they were also trained in different trades, for them to
become self reliant after their jail terms. The controller, who said
that the Qur’anic recitation study was introduced to inculcate moral
behaviour in the inmates, added that 50 of them had indicated interest
to register with the National Open University.

He urged the state
government to pardon them because they had been rehabilitated and
acquired some skills to take care of themselves and urged the inmates
to be of good behaviour after serving their jail terms. In his remarks,
the state governor, Mahmud Shinkafi, directed the state attorney
general to review their files and advise the government accordingly.
Mr. Shinkafi commended the prison warders for introducing the
programme, which he said would go a long way in reducing the social
vices in the society. The wife of the state governor, Aisha Shinkafi,
donated some clothes and copies of the Holy Qur’an to each inmate. She
also gave N10,000 each to the 50 inmates who recorded outstanding
performance

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Bus driver confiscates passenger’s shoe

Bus driver confiscates passenger’s shoe

It was like a drama
on Sunday morning, February 27,An Abuja bus driver yesterday
confiscated the shoe of a passenger at the Wuse Zone 4 Bus Stop.

The passenger, who
simply called himself Joshua, had boarded a Nyanya bus at Sky Memorial
Bus Stop, Wuse Zone 5 at about 9:15am yesterday.

According to Ralph
Okechukwu, who was one of the passengers in the bus, trouble started
when Joshua had insisted on paying N30 instead of the usual N40 for the
service rendered by the bus operator.

“To be sincere, the
driver is not to blame because the conductor called the fare for each
destination. The man did not approach either of them to tell them the
amount he has but he entered thinking that he can pay any amount.
However, when the passenger and the conductor began to exchange verbal
words, the driver came down from his seat, advanced to the passenger
and pulled off the right-leg shoe,” he said.

Although the
passenger did not make attempt to fight back, Mr Okechukwu said the bus
driver, in anger, threw the shoe into his vehicle and zoomed off.

Off with shoe

Mr Joshua however
said he was not aware of the said transport fare named by the
conductor. “The conductor did not tell me anything when I was entering
the bus. He was only lying,” he said.

Effort by the
passers-by to get the shoe recovered from the bus operator were
unsuccessful. Bewildered by the attitude of the bus operator, some of
them who spoke to NEXT said “To me, it is inhuman for the bus driver to
have exhibited such attitude. Maybe the man has no other money with
him. The driver and the conductor should have forgiven him because no
one is perfect,” one of the passers by, Deborah Suleiman said.

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‘Opposition will defeat Akwa Ibom state governor’

‘Opposition will defeat Akwa Ibom state governor’

Acceptance of the party

Well, it is the
fastest growing political party in Akwa Ibom state. I can tell you with
all amount of certainty that while other parties are going down in
terms of membership, we are increasing every other day, with more
members coming to join us. Nigerians are almost imbibing the culture of
one-man-one-vote and the era of vote stuffing and extreme rigging is
all gone for good and with that, the vote of the people will count. So
whoever the electorate wants are the people that will represent them,
so it won’t be all business as usual.

The electorate will
decide on who and which party they want to govern them. And if you
follow the event, if you walk the streets in Akwa Ibom, you will be
able to know that Peoples Democratic Party only exists in paper and as
the election days approach, it becomes clearer that the Action Congress
Nigeria are coasting home victorious. So, we will win the election.

Challenging party primaries

There hasn’t been
any problem per se, but we only had a challenge. You know our party
stands for internal democracy and preaches it all over. But in one
federal constituency, Itu/Ibiono Federal Constituency to be precise, we
have four aspirants. One scored 363, the other a little over 100,
another one 14, and the last scored a little over that. But we don’t
know how the third placed man made the list. However, we have made
representation and I think the party is looking at that.

Failure of the state government

You know we are
almost receiving the largest chunk of revenue, in terms of derivation
and funds from Federation Account and most Akwa Ibom people have not
seen projects on ground. There is no transparency and openness in
governance. Besides, if you came to Akwa Ibom, the greatest problem we
are now having is the level of insecurity. People are asking why this
event is almost paralysing activities in the state. There is no social
life in Akwa Ibom at the moment, basically because the government has
failed to provide security and has failed to protect lives and property.

You know there is
an adage that says, “Show me your friend and I will tell you who you
are?” Basically, the people that make up the PDP-led government in the
state, their integrity are questionable and it is almost an established
fact that the state government is almost making it an acceptable norm
that if you don’t belong to a cult, you cannot be part of the
government. There was an amalgamation of cult groups and the state
governor, in the guise of youth organisation and all that, was there in
person and inaugurated that body. So, when these hoodlums unleash their
havoc on the people, people tended to ask why do we have government?
And these people are walking the streets and are being patronised by
government.

State of insecurity

Things are bad in
terms of kidnapping and this has almost turned into a political way of
caging people that have opposite views. Just a few days ago, a
prominent paramount ruler, James Robert Obot of Nsitubman Local
Government, was murdered in cold blood. So, cases of serial killing and
kidnapping abound in the state and most of the people that have been
kidnapped have come back to say if you hold divergent views, they will
kidnap you, extort money from you so that you don’t have the fund to
muscle up any opinion.

I am sure the DG
(Director-General) of SSS (State Security Services) does not know about
this and I want to believe that the Director of SSS in Akwa Ibom does
not know what the governor is doing. He has applied for so many SSS
personnel and when they are now posted to the state, he off-loaded them
to persons who do not have business to be attached with these personnel.

Now, the objective
of keeping these personnel is that on Election Day, they will use them
as if they are on official duty. This could have an over-bearing
influence on the voting populace. They can use them to scare the
electorate. They can use them to commit all kinds of havoc and you know
without these personnel, they themselves cannot come out on Election
Day to commit the crime by themselves. My call to the DG of SSS is that
he should ensure that these personnel should be withdrawn. If they have
excess SSS personnel in Akwa Ibom State, they should be withdrawn and
deployed to the states where they are needed.

Political credential of ACN governorship candidate

John James
Akpanudoedehe had been a chairman of Uyo Local Government. It was the
largest Uyo Local Government before the military now decided to split
them. When the 4th republic came alive, he was elected into the Senate
in 1999 to 2003. Soon after that, he was appointed by the late
president, Umaru Musa Yar’Adua as Minister of State for FCT and you
know FCT is a mini-state. I think he has a good pedigree in governance.
The support is massive for ACN has been massive. The only thing PDP
have that we don’t is they have been utilising the state media very
well. They have propaganda, you know they are in power. They will
normally have more resources than we have.

Call for fairness

We made
representation to National Broadcasting Corporation for access to the
media and since we have made representation, they’ve started to cave in
a little. However, we don’t know how the events in the next few weeks
will be like and if will start be able to sell our programmes on the
state media. My call to INEC (Independent National Electoral
Commission) is to remain the unbiased umpire which we expect them to
be. They should allow the votes of the people to count rather than
allow themselves to be used by the government for purposes other than
overseeing the elections fairly.

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Agency to train aviation workers on customer care

Agency to train aviation workers on customer care

he Nigerian Civil
Aviation Authority (NCAA) has mandated airlines, agencies, and the
various parastatals in the sector to train their employees in the
efficient delivery of customer services to travelers.

The directive, a
fallout of the incessant complaints from both domestic and
international air travelers, is aimed at eliminating the occasional
fighting encountered at the various airport terminals between ticketing
and reservation officers of airlines and air passengers.

The civil aviation
regulatory agency said the training will enable airlines and industry
stakeholders to know their rights as well as intimate them on the
rights of travelers.

“We strongly
recommend that your organisations embrace the training programme being
offered by the consultant in order to raise customer service delivery
standards in the industry through nominating members of your staff to
participate in the programme,” said Adamu Abdullahi, director, consumer
protection unit, NCAA, in a message to airlines.

Mr. Abdullahi said
the mandatory training will uphold the International Civil Aviation
Organization (ICAO) standards and recommend practices that apply
globally in the industry, adding that the authority has given the
consulting firm the power to make sure that the key players in the
sector abide by the training.

Passengers’ rights

Daniel Young,
managing director of Karamba Consulting Limited, the company expected
to conduct the exercise, disclosed that the training, which commences
from next month, will also focus on the rights of passengers, noting
that travelers will be made to know what is expected of them and how
they are to go about their grievances when disappointed by an airline.

“We are going to
mount posters at strategic locations belonging to airlines and various
agencies, notifying them of their rights and those things expected of
them whenever they are on a journey and at the airport,” he said.

Mr. Young disclosed
that at the end of the training, employees of various airlines and
agencies in the sector will be able to “satisfactorily relate” with
their customers, and the issue of disagreements and fighting at the
airports will be reduced to the barest minimum.

“The training will
enable us cut down on check-in time and procedures, decongest the
airport should there be need, help airlines make more money, help
revenue agencies generate adequate funds, and make passengers
appreciate travelling experience when at our airports,” he said.

There have been series of reports of passengers battling with
ticketing and reservation officers at terminals over issues ranging
from unexplainable flight delays, cancellations, and rescheduling, a
situation viewed by experts as poor customer delivery services on the
side of airlines and other service providers at the airport.</

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Court warns anti corruption agency against delay

Court warns anti corruption agency against delay

A Federal High Court in Abuja at the weekend warned
the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) to stop delaying
the prosecution of Bayelsa State government officials facing charges of
money laundering and diversion of public funds.

The commission had, on March 23, charged four top
officials of the state government, namely: Francis Okoruko, Abbot
Clinton, Ikhobo Anthony Howells, and Sylva Opuala – Charles. But since
their arraignment, trial until now was yet to commence.

Presiding Judge, Donatus Okorowo told the EFCC that
the several adjournments made in the trial have been at their instance
and warned that it will not fail to strike out the charge against the
accused persons if the prosecution fails to come up with its witness on
March 11, 2011, the adjourned date to conclude his evidence .

Mr Okorowo issued this warning following a request
for adjournment made by Ugochukwu Ezekiel on behalf of EFCC’s
prosecutor, Festus Keyamo, who was not in court. Mr Ezekiel requested
for the adjournment on the ground that the prosecution witness is
absent.

But counsels to the accused persons, Chris Uche and
Sunday Ibrahim Ameh, called on the judge to take note of the lack of
diligence on the part of the prosecution. They further argued that the
absence of Mr Keyamo at the trial underscored the lack of commitment
and diligence to dispose off the matter, noting that Mr Keyamo was in
error to direct another lawyer to represent him.

The lawyers said their clients were eager to conclude
trial so as to get the criminal charge hanging on their necks
discharged as they were sure of their innocence.

The judge agreed with the defence counsel that the
prosecution was responsible for the series of adjournments and was not
happy with Mr Keyamo for sending another counsel.

Not so speedy

At the last hearing, both defence counsels, on the
basis of wanting a speedy trial, had withdrawn their objection to the
admissibility of a document sought to be tendered in evidence by Mr
Keyamo.

Mr Keyamo had sought to tender the statement made to
the EFCC by the 2nd accused person, Clinton Abbot, through his
prosecution witness 1, Adebayo Adeniyi Oluwasegun, but Messrs. Uche and
Ameh objected to the procedure on the premise that it would offend
Section 36 [a] of the Evidence Act since he (Oluwasegun) was not
incidental to the statement being made. After a spell of arguments, the
Judge was to adjourn the matter to enable him rule. But Counsel to the
accused persons, eager to make progress with the trial, agreed to
withdraw the objection after Mr Keyamo had entered an undertaking that
he will not rely on any other Investigating Police Officer (IPO) to
tender any further evidence.

Consequently, the statement sought to be tendered was
later admitted in evidence after which the police officer recounted
steps he took in the course of investigating the case.

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POLITICAL MANN: Mann meets the mad dog

POLITICAL MANN: Mann meets the mad dog

Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi is the strangest head of state I’ve ever met.

When I asked him about democracy he threatened to sue.

“If you or someone
else says that Libya is not a democracy then it would be considered an
insult,” he said. “We could go to court to redeem honour from that
insult.”

The conversation
was back in 2005 at his tent in Tripoli, a single-room structure made
of colourful textiles in the middle of a heavily guarded compound.

We sat on plastic
garden furniture that had been carefully hand-cleaned by a man in an
orderly’s uniform, while a small goat picked at patchy grass outside.

Gadhafi is famous
for his odd behaviour, female bodyguards and bizarre ideas such as his
plan to abolish Switzerland. We only saw very conventional male
bodyguards. But even with their protection, Gadhafi’s manner made it
hard to understand how he managed to stay in power for more than four
decades.

He didn’t seem up to it.

He appeared
lethargic and his eyes, even behind sunglasses, seemed unfocused. He
used an elaborate fly whisk to wave away insects that weren’t actually
there. His answers, through a translator, seemed rambling.

Author Kenneth
Timmerman, who has also met him, says Gadhafi has kept power through
cunning. “He’s a very very skilled player,” Timmerman said.

“He divides the
country. He conquers the small groups. He’s kept the tribes squabbling
amongst themselves and up until relatively recently he has distributed
some of the oil wealth to the people.”

Human rights groups
also say that Gadhafi’s regime has killed, jailed and tortured its
opponents. Libya today is in turmoil. Back then, it was in transition,
a rogue state trying to redeem itself.

Pressed by
international sanctions, it had abandoned support for terrorist
organisations, surrendered its weapons of mass destruction to the West
and was trying to open-up its economy.

Gadhafi told me he was angry that Libya never got the pay-off it expected: American esteem and investment.

In part, it was because Washington’s attention had turned to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

But it was also, no
doubt, because no American president or politician would be eager to
embrace the man Ronald Reagan once called a “mad dog.”

In any country or company’s plans for Libya, Moammar Gadhafi was the wildcard, the unpredictable element. He still is.

Jonathan Mann presents Political Mann on CNN International each
Friday at 18:30 (CAT), Saturday at 3pm and 9pm (CAT), and Sunday at
10am (CAT).

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The madman on the rock

The madman on the rock

The rock stood in
the heart of our land, a gift from the gods. One benighted afternoon we
found a madman atop the rock, and he was pointing a gun on us.

“Behold the rock I built with petro-dollars!” screamed the madman, prancing hither and thither.

“How do we get this knave down from that height?” queried one of us down below.

“That statement is
undue radicalism, very extremist!” cried the madman. He took aim at the
man amongst us who made the utterance, and the poor fellow was dead in
short seconds.

Shouts of horror swept through the landscape.

“Hail me as your president or I will shoot again!” The madman was in his elements, caressing his baleful gun.

“A raving madman cannot a president make!” shouted another deviant fellow in our midst.

The madman unleashed another crack shot, and death followed suit.

“Am I the president or am I not?” The madman was not joking.

“You are!” we all hollered as one.

“Actually it is my
duty to decree myself president,” said the madman, pulling ill-assorted
military gear over his white gown. “Your business is just to say yes to
my decree.”

“All hail Mr. President!” we were shouting.

“Don’t Mister me!” bellowed the madman. “I am a five-star general!”

“Field-marshal President!” cooed a section of the gathered crowd.

The somewhat diminutive madman showed his teeth in a hearty smile. He was gap-toothed.

“I know this man,”
said one of us with a press tag on the lapel of his coat. “I know him
from way back. He used to write me love letters.”

Before our very
eyes, the man dispatched a letter from high up to the man below which
instantly exploded like a bomb, blowing the hapless fellow to
smithereens.

There was a stampede but the madman dared anyone to leave the square.

“I feel good.” The madman was nodding. “In fact I feel cool.”

“Please come down, our dear president, and rule among us,” a voice in the square pleaded.

“Why should I come down among you plebeians?” the madman replied, frowning. “I prefer to rule from the rock.”

“But the president is supposed to be among the people, a man of the people…”

“Don’t tell me what
a president is supposed to be,” snapped the madman. “How can you know
where or what the president is supposed to be when none of you has ever
been a president? You don’t even have a gun.”

“A real president of the people does not need a gun.”

“Who said that?” The madman was livid.

Nobody raised a voice.

The madman unleashed a staccato of shots, killing five or so luckless fellows.

“Ordain me your life-president and I’ll come down to be with you,” said the madman.

“When you didn’t come down as a president how is it possible for you to come as a life-president?”

“I don’t like that question,” the madman bawled. “It smells like a pressman.”

“How can a question smell like a journalist?” asked one of us.

“No more questions or I’ll bomb you with my letter!”

He panned his gun wickedly across the mammoth crowd, and cries of dread swept through the square.

“Behold our darling life-president!”

“Prince of the Atlantic!”

“King of the Sahara!”

“I am not deceived by your praise-songs,” the madman said, fiddling with his trigger. “You people praise to kill.”

“You are our grand commander till kingdom come!” The roar reached the sky.

“That’s more like it.” The madman adjusted his epaulettes. “I feel like transforming to civvies.”

“Will you now come down to be with us?” asked the lady at my back.

“Not until you make my wife your empress,” said the madman.

Something we had
thought was merely an outgrowth of the rock suddenly came alive. It
stood like a masquerade. Then the clothes came off, revealing the
woman. Her madness was extraordinary, putting her husband in the shade.
Despite the peacock feathers all about her she was naked and dancing
extravagantly.

“First Lady!” We were all screaming. “Eku! First Lady!”

“I decree her as your empress,” the madman intoned, admiring his wild missus.

“Empress of the
Niger!” We could not run short of praise-songs in her name. “Mother of
wealth! Better life bringer! Queen of beauty!”

The naked woman
cavorted in a frenzy of dancing. We egged her on with oohs and aahs.
She was indeed an empress to behold, a loose cannon baring and dangling
all the unmentionables.

“Not even death shall do us part,” the empress sang, blowing her husband a kiss.

“So my wife is the empress,” the madman boomed, cavorting with his wife, “and I am the emperor. What a fantastic combination!”

“As fantastic as Fanta!” the wife cooed.

“And as cocastic as Coke!” said the madman, sniffing the palm of his hand like a junkie.

“Now we are ready for the Great Couple to come down to be with us,” said the very tall man to my right.

“You people think
you can fool me,” the madman said, eyeing us wickedly. “I know it. If I
make the mistake of coming down among you I am a goner! You think I’ll
let you quarantine me? I still want to be here!”

“Please go away, madman!” shouted a defiant voice.

“Go to hell, you yammering mad cap!” followed another strong voice.

“Only divine intervention can save us from this miscreant.”

The madman pulled
the trigger, terminating another handful of lives. He affected the pose
of a cowboy and flashed his trademark gap-toothed grin.

“Paradise is here,” the madman’s wife sang, shaking her naked buttocks at us.

Cemetery silence descended on us. We could only stare and wonder and wait.

“I am tired of staying here!” the madman suddenly ejaculated. “Make me the Alpha and Omega and I’ll go.”

“Pronto, you are our Alpha and Omega!”

“You are our all-in-all!”

“Generalissimo!”

The madman pranced about, cuddling his gun.

“Kleptomaniac!” shouted one fellow.

“I like that word!” screamed the madman. “I like that title. Make me klepto-!”

“Maniac!” we chorused.

“Now I have
achieved everything on earth and upon the rock,” the madman said,
feeling good. “But you are yet to give me something…”

“What again do you want from us?”

The madman pasted
his ears to the winds as though hearing voices from beyond, then he
hooted. “Margaret Thatcher is my godmother. If she tells me to jump, I
jump.”

“Then jump!” I muttered under my breath.

“You must all structurally adjust yourselves!” ordered the madman, waving at all of us.

“How do we go about that now?” asked one voice at the edge of the square.

“I hereby devalue all of you!” the madman bleated, jumping on the bosom of his wife.

We all looked at one another, finding no words.

“Since you want me
to go I feel it’s time for me to go,” said the madman after we could
not say anything for moments on end. “But before I go there must be a
period of transition for you to choose the fellow to replace me here.”

“We don’t need another madman on the rock!” said a voice in compelling vehemence.

“What is that you said?” The madman was furious. “That is the voice of the poet, and poetry simply means coup-plotting!”

The madman insisted
on fishing out the owner of the dissenting voice. The identified
dissident stared back at the madman with a certitude that bore the
stamp of familiarity.

“Coup-plotting poet!” the madman cursed, shooting to death the poet alongside his comrades.

“But that’s your brother you just killed,” wailed a lady, who took the wedding band of the shot man.

“Tell them the coup-plotter and his comrades have been shot about an hour ago!” the madman said, pointing.

“Nothing is beyond this madman…” I was thinking.

“Call me Democratic Emperor!” the madman shouted.

“Democratic Emperor!” we shouted back.

“Cool.” The madman scanned the gathering. “That’s the kind of thing I like to read in the Times.”

He paused. We looked on.

“I’ll teach you democracy,” said the madman. “I’ll give you democracy.”

“God bless our life-president, teacher of democracy,” sang the singer in the midst. “God save the emperor, giver of democracy.”

Just then a very
surprising thing happened. Some angry young men appeared like
paratroopers on the rock and tackled the madman and his wife to the
ground.

“Khalifa! Khalifa! Khalifa!” the madman wept.

A short and squat
soldier wearing very dark goggles appeared on the rock as though from
nowhere and shot to death the squad that had all but captured the
madman. We all stared from Khalifa to the madman, wondering. Khalifa
did not offer a word before disappearing. The madman was visibly
shaken, crying on the shoulder of his wife like a stricken suckling. It
took an age for the madman to find his voice.

“Not today,” the
madman said when he found his voice. “What a Dodan nightmare! It was
the attack of those Obalende rascals that pursued me to this rock!” He
paused to gather his breath. “But I dealt with them. I wiped them out!
No tears for the terrorists!”

“Don’t mind the
extremists who do not want you to give us democracy,” said a woman by
the corner. “Forget them and keep up with your promised transition.”

“Yes, let the
transition happen,” the madman ordered, assuming a new seriousness.
“You have to build a ladder for me to come down with and for the new
man to get up here.”

“But you didn’t need a ladder to get up there in the first place?” shouted a very angry voice.

“Build the ladder or I’ll shoot!” commanded the madman.

The incomparably
long ladder took billions of Naira to build. Then the ladder was placed
against the rock. The madman asked us to choose a handful of persons to
climb the ladder. We did the choosing as ordered by the madman. When we
presented our chosen ones the madman took one look at them and screamed:

“I don’t want old greed. New breed is what I need!”

He promptly ordered
our chosen ones away from the foot of the ladder, threatening to shoot
them into tiny slivers. Then the madman chose two of his friends in our
midst to make the climb up the ladder. One of his chosen two was a fast
climber and was soon on the last rung of the ladder, in short, with a
foot on the rock. With the butt of his gun the madman sent his friend
crashing down from the great height.

“This rock cannot
contain two of us!” shouted the madman, holding aloft his gun. “I would
have shot you if you were not my friend.”

“I dare you!” the humiliated friend cried, alive only because the people helped break his fall.

“Make me Go-!” the madman yelled, incensed.

“Did he say Go or God?” We did not know.

“I am not afraid
of this madman!” the felled friend hollered. “I’ll fight him to a
finish with all the proverbs on earth. His firing squad cannot make me
lose my manhood!”

Dread stood in the
air. Blood was boiling to flow. Some angry youths arranged to climb the
rock to bring down the madman. The madman fired some shots but death
was not in the dictionary of the angry ones coming after the madman on
the rock. There was commotion all over the place. The madman ran from
one end of the rock to the other as though looking for a place to hide.

“General Khalifa!” cried the leader of the human rats. “History beckons on you to take over!”

“Cover me! Cover me!” the madman said to an old ghost whom he had unburied from one of the crannies of the rock.

The madman covered
the old ghost in interim fatigues, asking him to pose as a madman in
his place. Then General Khalifa, wearing his very dark goggles,
appeared on the scene, borne along by the apple-laden beauties of India.

Confusion shot up
as people marched on the rock and the old ghost struggled with his
interim fatigues and the madman looked upon Khalifa for a measure of
solution.

“Save the day!” the madman pleaded, staring plaintively at General Khalifa.

“They are coming
from everywhere!” screamed General Khalifa, pushing the old ghost in
interim fatigues from off the rock and then turning to speak directly
to the convulsing madman. “Jump before they get you! They are coming
fast! Spirits! Soldiers! Students! They are coming for your jugular!
Jump!”

“I will only step
aside,” snorted the madman; then he clung to his First Lady and they
jumped from the rock, falling hard to earth with such force that they
instantly turned into the small rock called Stone!

As General Khalifa
settled on the rock, playing God with military abandon, the human rats
started crying: “Another madman is back on the rock! We don’t want
another madman on the rock!”

The goggled madman, a dead shot with an AK47, took aim and, rat-a-tat, his beginning was the end.

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Pain is love, or something like that

Pain is love, or something like that

In the wake of a Nollywood renaissance, the competition for filmmakers to up the ante has been on the increase. For old and new Nollywood bashers, most of the criticism has recently been reduced to static mumbling, but not in all cases.

From the producer of ‘Silent Scandal’ and ‘When the Heart Lies’ comes ‘A Private Storm’ starring Ramsey Nouah, Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde, and John Dumelo. The movie, directed by Lancelot Imasuen and Ikechukwu Onyeka, was written and produced by Vivian Ejike. The hype that heralded the film’s premiere made it a must-see for many.

A turbulent affair

The story revolves around the violent Alex (Ramsey Nouah) and Gina, his live-in lover/victim, played by Jalade-Ekeinde. In the first scene, he wakes her up to breakfast in bed, while coaxing her to skip work that day. At this point, the alarm bells start to ring, but who cares? We are here to watch Nollywood romance at its best.

Gina goes to work anyway, only to be dragged back home by a very angry Alex after forcing her to write a resignation letter. He compensates Gina with an upscale boutique, making her the envy of her friends who think she’s got the perfect man, Prince Charming.

Charm is, however, not exactly Alex’s strong point as his anger constantly gets the better of him. He orders his ‘princess’ out of his car at midnight in the middle of nowhere, locks her up in the bathroom and out of the house after she disobeys his order on attending a close friend’s birthday party. He slaps her just because she dares to describe another man as a ‘handsome hunk.’ Shock, horror!

Obviously, no one would expect even an insane woman to sit around and enjoy such violence. Gina soon ‘borrows’ a brain and flees to a friend’s place. A remorseful Alex returns, bearing gifts and asking for forgiveness. Gina is hell-bent on not taking him back. The flashback to Alex’s troubled youth is no excuse for his misbehaviour in adulthood, but foolish love prevails over reason and Gina returns to Alex’s hurtful embrace. Or maybe the beating was just an unshakable part of her destiny.

I guess this is the part where the producers expected us to fall in love again after hating the male antagonist and running mad with anger at Gina’s stupidity. Well, it does not work out that way as we remain in shock at the lead-female’s foolhardiness.

For a movie on spousal abuse, it is shocking not to get the feel of at least one broken bone, a blood-shot, black eye, or swollen cheek, considering Alex is quick to send thunder down Gina’s face in the blink of an eye. Apart from the rouge brightening the ladies’ cheeks, the closest thing to bloodshed that we see is when Dumelo spills red wine on his white shirt.

Other than that, the story of ‘A Private Storm’ could very well be summed up as a romantic melodrama telling the story of an unnecessarily angry young man and his foolish fiancée.

Mr. Sinister

Nouah is not bad in his role as Mr. Sinister. His characterisation echoed scenes from previous tormentor-roles in ‘Above Death,’ where he plays Hilda Dokubo’s demon-possessed child, and a particular scene from ‘Blind Trust’ where he sends his father’s greedy relatives scurrying with a cutlass. The down-side of his acting and the directing is that in some scenes, not a few feel this is a horror flick starring Nouah as a two-legged freak.

Ekeinde’s portrayal of the ‘suffer-head’ Gina also deserves top marks, but I wonder why – with all the fire the character sometimes shows – Gina never hits back at least once. Maybe like one woman said, she accepts such beating as the perfect grooming necessary to make a good wife.

Ufuoma Ejenobor and John Dumelo are the film’s second couple in another miserable relationship: they also break up to make up but for different reasons. As the action unravels, one is expecting to see both couples merge in the plot. Unfortunately, there was no real reason for the presence of this couple but for the comic relief they provided as a departure from the charged action of Alex and Gina’s volatile relationship. All was however, made known at the ‘end’ of ‘Private Storm 1.’

Er, that’s not all, folks

The curse of Nollywood means that even the ‘best’ movie finds a most unfortunate way of disappointing its audience. ‘A Private Storm’ was not wanting in this regard, giving boost to the argument that most Nollywood movies are soap operas camouflaging as feature films.

The movie held some hope at the beginning but soon faltered and almost two hours later, it was not funny to see the final fade with the words ‘… the storm has just begun…’ appearing on the screen. This was followed by ‘teasers’ from the sequel in which we discover where Omotola Jalade’s character ends up.

It was no different from seeing a series’ pilot with a preview of subsequent episodes reading, ‘Next time on A Private Storm.’

Having not seen other productions by Vivian Ejike, I hear ‘A Private Storm’ might actually be her worst so far. I hope so too.

Here’s the verdict: you won’t be over-joyful if you see ‘A Private Storm’ in cinemas. Wait till Part 2 is released; buy or rent both instalments, then spare a few hours to see them back to back. Rewind or fast-forward to your heart’s content so you won’t need to see the full story more than once.

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