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You heard me right;
I am selling my vote come April. Are you interested? I want you to know
that I am a registered voter and my card is first class, laminated.

Now let’s talk business.

I will sell my vote
to the most desperate. I remind you that April is around the corner and
you need to act fast if you are really interested in that mouth
watering position of President and C-in-C of the Federal Republic of
Nigeria

First of all, how
come I haven’t even met you? All I know about your intention is what I
see in shambolic and dimwitted TV commercials, most of which insult and
assault the intellectual well being of many Nigerians. The newspaper
ads are the worst. Your manifestos are either absent or seem like
departmental election manifestos in a backwater vocational college.
Just remember, this is a new Nigeria you are trying to rule. Now
pronounce that yourself and see how heavy it is in your mouth -NEW
NIGERIA!

I know you are
calculating in your head and asking, how much money does this baga
want? You make me laugh sir. The exchange rate for my vote is different
from what you used to know. We are many who want to exchange our votes
for a change, and I don’t mean pocket change sir.

We are ready to
stand our ground if you think we are not serious, let recent distant
changes in public squares ring alarm bells in your head.

What do we want? Now you are talking.

This old habit of
having the people come to you in squares, fields and halls should not
be mistaken for campaigning. That is no way to campaign, because you
are still making us sweat for you instead of the other way round. I am
sure you are aware that many Nigerians have already died in the process
of waiting for you in overcrowded arenas? This is inglorious so don’t
expect me to come meet you in a place where my life or that of my
fellow cardholders cannot be guaranteed. I am sure you’ve seen how
politicians campaign in other countries whose democracy we mimic; let’s
try some of that.

Are you still asking how much I want to sell my vote for?

Listen well – I do
not want your money (actually that is my money which somehow found its
way to your account, how and why is not today’s business) All I need
from you is to actually prove to me that you are the right candidate to
lead this country in the next four years. I don’t mean your midnight
meetings with a few “godfathers”. I want you to do the right thing and
be clear about what you are bringing to the table. And don’t you dare
offer me a bag of rice; I am not a refugee – thank you.

I need you to pound
the pavement, visit the hills, mountains and valleys of the country you
want to govern. Go to every hamlet and village, travel to as many local
governments as possible no matter how remote – that way you can feel
the actual pulse of the nation That you gave a speech at Ogbe Stadium
in Benin doesn’t mean you have spoken to my mother in Irrua. That old
style of campaign is not only insulting and lazy, it is also dumb.

You have to visit
as many primary and secondary schools and universities as possible and
tell the students what you have for them in the future. If you must
know, I first met Barrack Obama in the campus of George Mason
University, Virginia in USA and his words still ring in my ears till
now, so why are you silent in my consciousness? If the task of going to
every school is a behemoth, can you at least visit a few federal
universities and see the shacks that they have degenerated to and
promise the students that besides allocating oil blocks, you will erect
some class room blocks where they can learn. Just so you know, most of
them are registered voters.

By the way how many
random visits have you made to factories, ministries, or ordinary
citizens just to shake hands with potential voters and look them in the
eyes and say – I am your man and you can trust me? Do you know there
are millions of Nigerians who cannot come to listen to your public
speeches, nor do they have electricity to watch your campaign on
television? Or you don’t care about them?

Finally (for now) I
need a clear and substantial blue print of how you will make the
country safe for us the ordinary citizens who have no teams of
bodyguards to save our lives from marauders. I need to know how you
intend to stop things from exploding around me.

I have more requests, and I will be letting you know in due course,
if you are ready to buy my vote my way. Let’s talk, Mr. Presidential
candidate.