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I have some respect
for honest criminals. Such criminals do not pose a great danger to
society, especially because they make the job less stressful for crime
investigation officers and law courts. Although they may run, they do
not run far, and when they run, it is to give security agents a little
job to do to justify the salaries they are paid.

The honest criminal
tells the world: “Yes, I am a criminal, full-time. Catch me, if you
can!” And when the honest criminal is caught, arraigned, and the
charges are read, such a criminal nods the head and answers, “guilty as
charged.” Little wonder a presiding judge, full of admiration for the
display of sincerity, immediately commutes a clear 55-year sentence to
five, and, since love covers a multitude of iniquities, goes ahead to
translate the five year jail term to five months. If you ask me, I
would say that nothing stops such a judge from further translating the
five-month jail term to five weeks, or five days, even five minutes.
After all, a conviction is a conviction, whether one is convinced that
the punishment is commensurate to the crime or not.

And why should
Nigerians think so badly about conviction? Is it because their prisons
lack good facilities? With good food served at regular hours, movies to
watch, books to read, and even an arrangement for the prisoner to have
rich sex, who needs the freedom of the outside that comes with a lot of
responsibilities? Ask Clint Eastwood in the Hollywood film “Joe Kidd”
why he opts to go to jail for some days instead of paying a fine of
about five dollars to the court. Boy, in jail, he has access to rich
beer and some rest from action! Much later when a hunt for a criminal
is launched and the Sheriff needs men who are men, he would beg Joe
Kidd to allow someone to pay his fine so he could come out of jail and
join in the manhunt.

Don’t the whining
Nigerians know that imprisonment, for Cecilia, is some rest from
running after kudi and buying of assets? Those could be stressful, you
know.

Imprisonment could
be a vacation, or a retreat, especially if you have a good Bible or
Quran in your cell and an understanding chaplain or Imam to attend to
you every day. Inside your cell, you could be a monk. If you do not
have the right spiritual understanding, then you would be an isolated
monkey in your cell.

Cecilia is a
special Cecilia, the type that a long or short sentence cannot break
her heart. Dear reader, stop humming that Simon and Garfunkel song at
the mention of her name. Cecilia is not breaking your heart by choosing
not to come home and to do her long-short time.

A sincere Cecilia
means a new thing in the ranks of big time business of the siphoning of
public funds in Nigeria. With her example, it is hoped that many big
timers in Nigeria would choose the path of cooperating with the Law.
After all, the Law, like its agent the police, is your friend, even
though in its mythical blindfold. The Law is indeed showing that it is
humanistic and cares more about disciplining the subject than
punishing. After all, it is always preferable to have a reserve hand of
consolation for a child whom one has used the other hand to spank.

A sincere Cecilia
is a type that survives, even if she has made history with her skills
in the game of Monopoly, buying here and there, as the spirit moved
her.

A sincere Cecilia tells us that financial corruption has no gender; that what men can do, women can also do and even do better.

A sincere Cecilia is more than oceanic in her internationalisation of reckless wealth from Nigeria.

She is Ibru and her
name travels faster than her deeds. Those who think that she has done
some damage to a hallowed family name are mistaken. For her Ibruness,
she would compensate an empire and still not Helen a Troy.

A sincere Cecilia
accepts having fallen short of the glory of a family and of
self-righteous nation. She has disappointed you and me, not just
because she has stolen, but also because she has not allowed the plot
of the drama to develop complexity and thrill us more. She has cheated
you and me twice, so we are disappointed.

If you are sincerely less Cecilia that she is, cast the first stone.