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Theatre @ Terra has
commenced a re-staging of ‘The Ultimate face-off: Tarzan Monologues Vs
V Monologues’, first introduced in March 2010. Scheduled to be staged
in Nigeria and Ghana through the months of September and October, The
Ultimate Face-off brings to light the myriad perspectives of the male
and female gender concerning sexuality, social roles, culture dynamics,
and money among many other concerns.

The V Monologues
was introduced to Nigerian audiences in 2006 By the Kudirat Initiative
for Democracy (KIND), directed by Wole Oguntokun. Performed to
encourage women to speak out their woes; a male version, ‘Tarzan
Monologues’, was later adapted, with the notion that men have issues
too. Aspects of both plays were merged to make up the great gender
debate titled ‘The Ultimate Face-off’.

A September 12
performance of the monologues at Theatre @ Terra featured Bob Manuel,
Carol King, Iretiola Doyle, Lala Akindoju and other stage favourites in
a 12-member cast, in a two-and-half hour journey down rarely explored
gender paths, providing startling insights along the way.

Oguntokun had urged
audience members to open up their minds, promising that, “This will
touch you.” And he was true to his word, as the play had the audience
alternating between tears and raucous laughter, singing along and
shouting out responses to the actors’ lines.

Paul Alumona
elicited the first ruckus when he declared, “The undoing of many men is
that they try to understand their woman… a creature who thinks a man’s
feet is a good barometer for what lies hidden in unseen places can
simply not be understood.” He concluded, to the outrage of the females
in the audience that, “it is the moon that governs their cycles.”

Stirring acts

Lala Akindoju, in
one of the most stirring acts of the evening, narrated a female
circumcision ordeal: “An old woman came to us and told us to get ready
to be complete women. She told us to wash down there. How does this
make me a woman? The pain as they sliced with the knife. The pain that
makes me afraid to urinate, to drink water to quench my thirst,” she
asked these unnerving questions to the empathetic discomfort of the
crowd, while her voice wavered in a tearful performance.

Katherine Edoho’s
performance reflected the frustration of a mother to only female
children in Nigeria’s patriarchal society. “They asked how many
children I have,” she reminisced, “I told them I have five beautiful
daughters. They replied that they asked how many children, not how many
daughters. If I have ten daughters, the one who has one son is still
better than me.”.

In ‘The Little
Things’, a couple blame each other for forgetting the little things
that matter to them both. Kenneth Uphopho, in a litany of accusations,
charged his wife, “You no longer rub my head, or knead my feet. You
look and walk past, not saying a word of appreciation when you see that
I have washed the bathroom. Now you are starting to lie there like wood
when I hold you at night.” Akindoju responded derisively, “when you and
I met and loved, I had dreams and hopes. I would dance in the clubs in
Soho and walk the red light district of Amsterdam… but instead I am
here, watching you wash bathtubs in grey bathrooms. I miss my little
things too.”

Tunde Aladese
brought things to a head with ‘Revulva’. Here goes part of her
monologue: “Be reasonable, he said; hide your light under a bushel, lay
low, bow your head. But I shone the light on myself. My colour is red,
blood red.” Affecting a low growl, she continued, while undulating
suggestively, “Red is the colour of my tongue, the inside of my mouth,
and the colour of my other mouth. He raises his fist, but I too have a
weapon. My weapon is my re-vulva- it is the birthplace of queens and
cowards; the gateway to heaven.”

Man versus woman

Heralded by Kola
Ogunkoya’s ‘Pemiloruko’, Bimbo Manuel saunters onstage, as the
powerful, sexy grey, who attracts younger women with the magnetic pull
of his financial success. “I have never seen a woman pleased with a man
with a partner 20 years younger. Strangers would call it a lack of
confidence; borderline paedophilia. But these women who talk, were
their own minds unformed at 19?,” he asked.

When Iretiola Doyle
and Kunle Adeyoola take the stage later, the shoe is on the other foot;
and Ireti is the cougar (the older woman who dates younger men). Kunle,
her male paramour declared cockily, “Street credibility says every man
must at least date an older woman in his lifetime. I’m with you because
you are experienced where it matters; your body movements are fluid.
But don’t get this wrong, I’m here only for the experience.” Doyle
immediately deflated his ego thus: “You are my toy boy, my latest
accessory. What do you have to say where opinions really matter; when
the fates of nations are being decided? You are what I do when I don’t
feel like reading a book. Don’t bore me darling, not tonight. I have
salaries to pay; yours inclusive.”

Akindoju took the
audience through the agony of a semi educated girl taken to Italy for
prostitution; and the ecstasy of a Christian sister discovering for the
first time the joys of sex. Bob Manuel complained about the pressure of
living in a man’s world when it is the woman he sees “wearing black,
outliving the men”. Precious Anyanwu, lamented the loss of a childhood
sweetheart to the city where she lives, “Are you not Adijat whom I
climbed mango trees for? I have seen you pretend ignorance when our
eyes meet”. He also made a startling declaration, in his final
monologue, that the pressure to birth a male child is put on a woman by
her own gender: “They look at their own gender and tell her she must
try again. She is the one the doctor has warned against another
pregnancy; but she comes at you at night, devoid of passion and pleads,
‘Just once more’. A world that thinks the African man puts pressure on
a woman for a male heir knows very little about some things.”

More issues were
raised: from the need for a woman to be acquainted with her secret
places, to the pain and shame of erectile dysfunction, and the
deception when a pregnancy is foisted on a man who is “a confirmed
shooter of blanks.” Wife battering was also brought to the fore in a
poignant narrative by Katherine Edoho.

All the matters discussed were topics close to the heart of the audience. And this was confirmed by the reaction to the play.

Lala and the others

Lala Akindoju gave
perhaps the most impressive performance of the evening, in a star turn
that might have been tagged ‘Lala and Others’. She performed in no less
than six acts, giving impeccable deliveries, while other actresses
averaged only three. The play was also a bit skewed to cover more
female issues, but perhaps this was unavoidable. Despite the equality
that ‘The Ultimate Face-off’ seeks to achieve, women still do have more
gender related challenges, it appears.

The costumes were
beautiful, and although stage setting was very simplistic; the actors’
and actresses’ background participation in every act, more than made up
for this. Voice projection was top notch and the song accompaniments
were carefully chosen, spanning traditional music, contemporary
Nigerian tunes, and western pop.

Sadly, the turnout
was poor for a theatre production of the quality and calibre of ‘The
Ultimate Face-off’; seeming even less than the usual crowd for Terra
plays. Are Nigerians yet to cultivate adequate appreciation for
theatre? Or was the ticket price of 3,500 naira too steep to encourage
viewership? Theatre@ Terra could have stuck with the N1500 ticket price
for their regular Sunday performances. While the cast was made up
mostly of theatre big wigs, it does not seem very prudent to price
their performance out of the range of theatre enthusiasts.

Besides this though, one would not want a thing changed. Oguntokun’s
directing and the actors’ performances added up to an A-class
performance.