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A friend of mine had a crush on this guy. She would never stop talking about
him to the extent that her boyfriend started getting really pissed. I asked her
what it was about this guy that made her utter his name in almost every
sentence she made and she gave me a shocker.

She had a crush on the Hollywood actor, Eric Etebari. It sounded funny but
she was dead serious. She was even ready to fight anyone who said anything
negative about him. This got me thinking about an article I read on 234NEXT
website by Ejire about women falling for “bad guys”.

She particularly loved the guy
because of his bad boy role in the movie Witchblade. To a large
extent, ladies find themselves attracted to men who have an air of mystery
about them. I fail to understand the exact reason why we love bad guys. Maybe
we believe they can protect us. Maybe we see them as the most romantic. Who
knows except us?

When I was in the University, I knew girls who prided themselves with dating
cultists. They would boast of their boyfriends and those who were dating
“Jew men” dared not speak. Women perceive the “nice guys”
as those we can lean on for emotional support.

These set of guys; we can tell our secrets to and consider close friends.
They are nice, sweet and charming. But even with all these qualities, we look
on them as sometimes insecure or as though they lack self confidence. These are
the kind of guys that will be a friend to a girl they care deeply about and
cannot tell her what they feel until the “bad guy” shows up and
sweeps her off her feet.

Then again, we have the “bad guys” who even though they are mostly
arrogant, sometimes rude and domineering possess self confidence, strength and
are almost always independent. These three qualities of the bad guy (strength,
confidence and independence) are what draw us to them. A woman will want a
combination of the good qualities of a “nice guy” and that of the
“bad guy” but then, one cannot have it all.

For this reason, we sometimes find ourselves in relationships where we
settle for the “bad guy” while wishing and hoping we can change his
bad character to good. And at other times, we might choose to be with the
“nice guy” but crave and admire the self confidence and strength
exuded by the “bad guy”.

This sometimes leads us to cheating on our partner. But the truth is that we
really cannot change an adult who does not want to be changed. If you prefer to
be with the “bad guy”, then be ready for all the things that come
with it.

Be ready to accept whatever he throws at you without complaint because you
must have known him to be like that. If you also decide to be with the
“nice guy”, then see him for who he is and accept his weaknesses.

There is no one in the world that is perfect, so live with it. I know that
if my friend reads this, she will simply say to me “Na you know sha. I
love them bad”. She will say that but the irony of it all is that she is
dating a “nice guy” and crushing on a “bad guy.”