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Hallo, minister of sports Ibrahim Bio, I will in the genuine
spirit of fair play, not congratulate you, on your new and latest appointment.
I also do not envy you at all and confess that I will not accept this type of
appointment, except I heard from God Almighty. I therefore, on behalf of
millions of sports loving Nigerians, salute you for your courage, patriotism
and decision, to put your head on the block – figuratively. You must be a very
bold man.

This is because, I am sure you have not been forced to, or
deceived by anyone, to take up a ministry in a very sorry state of comatose.
Good thing you mentioned during one of your media chats that the last 10 years
witnessed a woeful decline of Nigerian sports. Well said, the Nigerian sports’
ship is steadily and speedily heading for the rocks and except there is urgent
change of direction, the situation will only get worse.

So, welcome on board, as you take over a ministry that has
experienced systemic failure for almost two decades. A sports ministry that has
been plagued by fraud, sorcerous and shameless species of corrupt
administrators and managers. A jinxed sports ministry that has inflicted pain
and misfortune on sports loving Nigerians.

A lot has been said and is being said about you. You became
topics of discussion in pepper soup joints, especially after a few bottles of
larger! I wonder what people say about you inside “molue” or “danfo” buses. But
one thing is clear – the man is a pharmacist, from the state of harmony and
ex-transport minister.

Hence I imagine something like this:

A: “You said the man is from the state of harmony?

B: “Yes”

A: “There is a big problem o. Big problem. How does he handle
the ‘no – shaking’ cabal in that sports ministry and commission? How does he
fight two battles at the same time? One battle at the ministry and the other at
the Sports Commission?

B: “Don’t worry about those ones, he has the pharmaceutical
arsenal to handle them. The mother no, father of all battles, will be with the
glass house”

A: “NFA?”

B: “No, NFF.”

A: “Okay NFF.”

B: “Yes, NFF. We reject that NFA stuff by fire and by force.
Don’t you know what that NFA means?

A – “Tell me, what does it mean?”

B – “It means – no future ambition, and that is why we must stop
referring to our football federation…”

A: “Okay, let’s go back to this issue of the father of all
battles …”

B: “Oh that one, okay let me explain. How is this pharmacist/ex
– transport minister going to handle the ‘tortoise’ inside the pot – belly of
the loquacious, basket-mouthed General in the glass house? Does he possess the
technical wherewithal of the soft – spoken, smooth-operating suavity of the ex-
international from Osogbo ?

Has he?

Combine these two with the lulling personality of the man from
the confluence town and tell me how this Bio of a minister, can win the battle?
And don’t forget that the “admiral”, is still very much in charge of sporting
affairs in this country.

A: “kai, this country is in trouble o”

B: “No, you only need to apply wisdom. Be smart. There is no
need for the man to attempt killing himself. He should learn from his
predecessors”

A: “What do you mean by that?

B: “Join them, if you can’t beat them.”

A: “What?

B; “The man is like the new wine poured into the very old bag”

A; “Very good, the bag will burst and …”

B – “The new wine spills”

A: “Whaoh! Who then can rescue Nigerian sports?

B: “Only God, but in the mean time, let us pray for good luck.”

The above dialogue may seem very incongruously offensive, but
please, let us not deceive ourselves, by writing it off as impossible.

Minister, I will personally warn you to look out for “banana
peels”, within and outside your ministry – Nigerians want to see changes taking
place, in order to salvage the poor state of sports in Nigeria. But how much
change can be effected between now and 2011 or 2012? This is my own advice to
you Bio. Initiate. Be careful with changes.

Another show of shame

The FIFA organised girls U-17 World Cup qualifier played at the
M.K.O. Abiola stadium, Abeokuta, on Saturday 17 April, was – to say the least,
a travesty of age – grade football competition. While there is no doubt that
the South African Makharibe girls are genuinely U-17, there is also no doubt
that the women representing Nigeria are not in the category of the U-17. None
of the Flamingos of Nigeria can be below 20 years and this is being modest.
Would Amos Adamu – a FIFA executive member and a father of children, who was
the guest of honour, cross his heart and say to the world that this report is
false? I wonder how he felt, when he met with the players before the match
started.

During the post – match conference, Coach Solley Luvhengo from South Africa,
was shamelessly told that the main reason, our women thrashed his girls was
because of the very high standard of the female football league in Nigeria. Can
anyone imagine such professional idiocy from an adult sports writer?